touchy feely

Categories: life


I went to the Vietnamese story today to buy some groceries, and I noticed this lady, maybe in her forties, poking some bread. Unwrapped, virgin, nakkid bread. And this lady was poking at it with her finger. This is one of those times I wish I had a camera with a loud click, not for evidence taking, to see if the person will be embarrassed at knowing that their actions are public. Then she walks away leaving the violated bread for some unfortunately person to buy and consume. It reminds me of a time about a year ago at Safeway when I saw this guy fingering the chocolate chip cookies at the bakery area. I was digusted, and I swore that I wouldn’t shop there again. Who wants pre-touched food? It is almost like some people get some twisted, perverted satisfaction from mangling food.

I can only think of a few reasons why anyone would do this…

  1. They are justified in what they do. If you can squeeze plums and knock on watermelons, why not fondle bakery? Fruit usually has its skin removed, or at least seriously cleaned, prior to eating. Do you wash your chocolate chip cookies before eating? By touching food, dirt and germs transfer over. While most bacteria and virus won’t survive, a lot, including hepititis, can still be potent enough to cause illness.
  2. They’re perverts. Anyone doing anything slightly antisocial is a pervert, according to anime and manga. K1 wants to hold Bell’s hand? He’s a frickin’ pervert. So of course poking bread would rank up there with neko tentacle yaoi rape. A strong possibility people enjoy doing this kind of thing.
  3. They don’t know any better. All I have to say is that you are a sad, sad adult who must be told not to mangle food. Especially after spending all your life watching people not mangle food. Unless you lived in a community of food manglers, then your community has problems.
  4. They secretly want to get caught and bring attention to themselves. Maybe they should do this in front of Dan Rather or Bin Laden. Not some chump with a blog where all of his visitors are too busy playing FFXI and could care less about non-meido related posts.
  5. They are worshipping their lord, Manglor, the violator of previously wholesome food. Things are getting weird now…

2 Responses to “touchy feely”

  1. All hail Manglor!

    *punches a dognut*

  2. I worry about you, jason.


    PS. Can I come back to SBA now?