zero no tsukaima 4

Love Hawt lesbian pr0n makes us do crazy things.


(I’ve got your hawt lesbian pr0n… RIGHT HERE!)

Kirche still hasn’t given up her pursuit of Saito from the previous episode, and she tries again to curry Saito’s flavor using bribes. She insults him in the process, and he tries to scurry off… only she jumps him and reveals that guys who blow her off only turn her on more. Of course they do. If you can’t guess what happens next, you don’t watch enough anime: the Pink Haired Zero Magic Mage storms in, rips Saito out of there, and then proceeds to spank him with a whip as punishment. This show is some great family entertainment.

The next day, Louise goes off to class and leaves Saito with the rest of the lowly summons (because he looks up the other girls’ skirts being the official reason)… only they seem to want to be familiar with him too. He sure is popular. He ends up sneaking away and is found by the cook who feeds him and tells him that Siesta has left the academy to go to work for some noblemen, Mott, whose family has a monopoly on the kingdom’s applesauce supply. He later finds out from Louise that this is a common ploy from horny old nobelmen to acquire a mistress/concubine/sex toy… egads… not willing to lose his claim on the meido, seeks out Mott.

(This noble/commoner thing is getting old, and it’s only the fourth episode. Can we please have a plot point or story that doesn’t involve noble/commoner conflict? At least can we stop calling the “commoners” and call them what they really are: slaves? If the next episode is about Saito and Siesta running away to the North, I’m going to drop this series for FLAG, which is a poor man’s Zegapain. Please don’t make me do this.)

Saito actually ends up making things worse since the nobles don’t want to be interrupted by some commoner when they’re trying to seduce their new meido. Uh oh. At least Mott is willing to play along with him and offers him the chance to buy Siesta’s freedom with some book from Kirche’s family. So… let me get this straight… if I’m a noble, I can just go around and point at a meido, “Hey, I want you to work for me” and then she has to work for me and can’t say no to me? Sure sounds like a slave. Do they have to compensate the original owner?

Saito heads back and is found/lectured by Louise, who shockingly doesn’t whip him. Louise tells him to forget about it and stop butting into other people’s business. Cockblocking nobles is a no-no, and Saito seems to be excelling at it. Saito can’t let it go, and he goes to try to get the book from Kirche, who is willing to trade the book for a date. Saito gets pissed, grabs her sword, and goes back to Mott’s place.


Meanwhile, we’re at T-minus 10 countdown before Siesta has to put out for Mott. Saito tries to ninja his way him, but he’s no Shion and gets caught. He then draws his sword out at Mott, which is a social faux paus… if a slave does it in a noble’s house, the noble can go medival on the slave’s ass. Fortunately, Kirche and Ayanami-Lite figure out what is going on, grabs Louise, and manages to stop Mott from impaling Saito, who seems to have lost his pwning skills from earlier.


The girls manage to negotiate their way out of the mess by having Kirche hand over the book for Siesta’s return. The book, of course, turns out to be Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya volume 1 Japanese pr0n. Mott lets Siesta go, who then gives Saito a gohobi. Louise, though, has a different kind of “gohobi” planned for poor Saito.

Zero no Tsukaima Character Power Rankings™

1. Kirche HD

In an episode full of selfishness, she was the least selfish character. She gave up her book and her sword and doesn’t even get a day-to with Say-to to show for it. I also loved how she pulled the book out from her miniskirt… reminds me of the time Ayumi pulled Haruo out of her miniskirt with an emo Maika making lizard facial contortions in the background. Good times.

(Though I can’t get over the fact that both she and Louise seem to wear their nighties more than any other outfit. I keep thinking, “Kyoto Animation would change it up everyday,” and “Kyoto Animation desperately needs to start working on the remake for this series.” And you think I’m kidding.)

2. Louise HD

The “muri’s” that come fast and furious around the 21:30 mark… I swear, it’s like JC Staff is purposely manipulating Louise’s dialogue to remind us of Shana. I keep expecting to see some melonpan in her mouth one of these episodes. They need to make a “Zero no Louise-tan” DVD extra.

Kinda sad, but the Pink Haired Zero Magic Mage turns out to be the most sensible one this episode. Calm… rational… doesn’t let matters escalate… it’s like if Simon Crowell suddenly refused to berate anyone on American Idol. There was only one typical Louise being Louise scene: after Louise catches Saito with Kirche, she breaks out the whip… and smiles. I wouldn’t be surprised if the two had a Pierre/Sayuri thing going. (Give yourself +10 fanboy points if you know what I mean by Pierre/Sayuri without clicking on this link or this one.)

3. Seista HD

If she knew that Mott only wanted her as a mistress, why’d she agree to the job? Sad way to advance her career. I’m only ranking her highly because (1) I like Mott’s meido uniform more than the Hogwart’s one… cleavage + choker = win (2) 16:12 timemark (3) she thanks Saito with a kiss at the end. Still, she doesn’t get a lot of screentime considering that she was the focal point of this episode.

(Why does she wear a seifuku in the OP… ?)

4. Saito

Dude has been completely housebroken by Louise. He seems to be happy washing Louise’s silk panties in the cold, dark night. Show some self-respect. (Plus he’s still wearing those clothes… gah… I hope he washes them too.) By my count, Saito has passed up Louise, Kirche, and Siesta by now… Tamaki (and to a leser extent, Keita and Fukuyama) has ruined me for spineless harem male leads. I want lechery in my male harem leads nowadays. Can’t they have an episode where he switches bodies with the perverted headmaster? BTW, who passed up the better buffet? Saito, Reito, or Hakuoro… ? I’ll go with Hakuoro.

(Also, Saito’s swordsmanship seens to be Itsuki’ed in terms that there’s limitations to when he goes Archer on someone. I’m guessing he has to be brave or something.)

5. Tabitha HD

Tabitha is the poor man’s Rei Ayanami who is the poor man’s Yuki. In other words, Tabitha is nowhere close to Yuki’s awesomeness.


Nevermind that he’s a selfish, arrogant pervert… he makes the dumbest trade ever. I understand that a pr0n mag is kinda rare in their world, but since when is a right hand (Midori/Giroro notwithstanding) worth more than a nubile, top ten meido-mistress? Making it worse is that it’s Japanese pr0n, which means that it’s censored. Worst trade since the Red Sox sent Babe Ruth packing.

(Lastly… Staff of Destruction! Not like that’s going to fall into the wrong hands. No sirree!)

25 Responses to “zero no tsukaima 4”

  1. i loved it when louise said “murii!” around the end, it totally brought back those shana moments.

  2. Mmmm…. Siesta in HD is even better than watching baseball in HD. Jason, I’ve turned to the dark side…. I can’t watch an anime series unless it’s got meido.

  3. >>This show is some great family entertainment.

    Too bad it`s not on the regular 7.00 pm slot like other mainstream animes (One Piece, Eyeshield 21, Pokemon & the rest of the Pokemon clones), unless you`re one of those peculiar families whose members wake up at 10pm and sleep again in the afternoon.

  4. Secret super mega item. Foreshadowing? in MY anime?

    And not that i was expecting saito to master his deviltrigger yet or anything, but i hope he does soon or it will be a very standard deus ex machina plotpoint soon.

  5. I was expecting Saito to be with his new sword as Link was with Navi, it would make sense that since he basically knows nothing about this world that he would carry around a portable tour guide. If you need to know about something, just press C-up.

    And the perverted Dumbledore is just… annoying.

  6. >>Mott, whose family has a monopoly on the kingdom’s applesauce supply.

    You mean a monopoly on boot polish. I’m sure he was on a steady diet of boot polish to get to where he is currently.

    >>I’ve turned to the dark side…. I can’t watch an anime series unless it’s got meido.

    Narg would be glad. The Meido Revolution might just work out after all.

  7. Apparently according to novel readers, this episode is non-canon. (as a filler not based on the novels)
    The main lead is suppose to become super-powerful whenever he holds a sword, and episode 4 is actually a plot-error.

    This explains why KyoAni had the novel author on speed-dial when they made Haruhi… It is easy to screw up otherwise.

  8. The real reason why the dialogue changed in the anime version…

    It is 3am at night at the residence of Tanigawa Nagaru, the author of TMoSH. All text has been translated into English for convenience.

    *ring* *ring* … *ring* *ring*



    “Ishihara-san? Is that you?”




    “Are you retarded?”

    *click* *eeeeeeee*


  9. >>and episode 4 is actually a plot-error.
    This is where speculators fill in. There`ll be discussions like “Maybe he has some period or something that`s why he`s not on full power.” or “That`s not a sword! It`s something that`s made to look like a sword!” or even to go as far as “That`s not Saito then! He may look like Saito, but it`s his doppleganger who doesn`t have even half the power of the other!”.

  10. >> I like Mott’s meido uniform more than the Hogwart’s one… cleavage + choker = win

    Don’t forget the stockings!

  11. You know… come to think of it. Siesta had at least 3 different costumes in this episode; out of which, I prefer the civilian one( the one she wore during the kissing scene).

  12. Oh crap ,Jason- I immediately knew the Pierre reference was from Dokkaida.
    However, I have noticed a distinct lack of Pierre’s in Japanese anime so I suppose thats a mitigating factor.

  13. Well, looks like Mr. Earth Elemental from the opening stops by for a visit next episode.

  14. According to some of the people who read the novels, the reason this episode was so lame was due to anime producers deciding that they would do better than Yamaguchi Noboru by adding stuff in that shouldn’t be there.. and apparently, in the novels Saito has never touched a weapon and not had his ability work so… J.C.STAFF screwed that up in my opinion. I hope they don’t do it too much in the future eps..

  15. Remember Kirche’s sword is totally suspect. The weapon seller was clearly trying to take advantage of naive nobles when he pushed that thing on them in episode 3. It’s probably just some gold foil wrapped chocolate, thus it does not really compute as a sword and cannot activate Saito’s lame Deus ex Machina.

  16. >>You know… come to think of it. Siesta had at least 3 different costumes in this episode; out of which, I prefer the civilian one( the one she wore during the kissing scene).

    Totally agree

    >>in the novels Saito has never touched a weapon and not had his ability work

    So he can use any weapon? excuse my low knowledge of the series

  17. Personaly, I think they should of had Saito go into limitbreak mode with the sword, disarm the guards, and put the sword to the Mott/EvilOilyWizard guy. He can’t actualy hurt people though, so it’d of been a stalemate. And kirche would still come to save the day with the eromanga from her panties.

    But it would of been more interesting than watching him be an impotent sadomasochist. (still wondering why he hasn’t at least tried to kill louise in her sleep)

  18. Oh, and while looking up Masochism I found this:

    “Punishment by whipping still proves the best method for the development of Sado-Masochism. It is known as ‘the English vice’, as beatings were (and are) an everyday fact of disciplinary life in the English private schools.”

    So if he’s not a Masochist yet, he will be.

  19. Tangential to the subject of Tabitha’s archetype… I found myself rereading Fruits Basket yesterday, and I was wondering if Hanajima fits into to the Rei-class.

    If she does I will be very torn between her and Yuki for top rank… not only does she have the super-insight and mysterious powers going, the entire cast is terrified of her even though she never does anything.

  20. Hanajima Saki is the greatest unintentional comedy character I know of in Japanese Manga. She is much more open about what she thinks and feel compared to many, and sometimes, it is this blunt speaking of her mind that makes us laugh and other characters afraid. In the latest manga episodes, she owns Akito and Kyo is deathly afraid of possibility that She and his step father is getting closer to each other. You don’t see Rei or Yuki actively persuing their love-interest like that. Of course, neither Rei nor Yuki inspired the level of fear that Hanajima sometimes inspire on anyone close to her.

  21. Does anybody know where I can get this on dvd or something?

  22. I love this ZnT. It was another great episode. And there are actually magicans summoning porn magazines…I see^^. Nice review too.

  23. >>The main lead is suppose to become super-powerful whenever he holds a sword, and episode 4 is actually a plot-error.

  24. Um..Okay. That was weird.

    Anyway–I’ll type it again. Apparently, the novel suggests that Saito only goes ub0rized when he’s using a real weapon in the method that weapon was intended to be used (IE, the alchemy sword, the LAW, the Zero). The “Great sword of Germania” was anything but–thus, the comment “That’s the great sword of Germania?” It was a decorative item, nothing more. It was an attempt for the swordsmith to rip poor Louise off. And that’s why Saito didn’t go SSJ22 when he took hold of it. It wasn’t a real weapon.

  25. The Germanian sword works just fine in the novel. It’s a weapon, he can use it with his power; this episode is a plot error. Well they rewrote entire chunks of the novel, it defies me how they’ll make season three after killing off characters that appear in it.

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