pokemon best wishes 1

Categories: episodic review


Pikachu vs. Smugleaf? I’m so there.


You know what this blog is missing? (Besides better writing, better fact checking, better posting schedule, better theme colors, better screenshots, and better sidetails.) Pokemon! Instead of blogging The World God Only Knows this season, I’ve decided to follow Pokemon Best Wishes. You gotta move out of your comfort zone once in a while, you know.

(No, I wasn’t bribed to write this post. No, an offer wasn’t made that I could not not not not not refuse.)


Ah, Team Rocket, the Washington Generals of anime. Only… well… the Washington Generals actually win once in a blue moon. I’m still amazed that they haven’t been fired yet… this is more startling combination of job security and ineptitude than Matt Millen and the Detroit Lions. Also, how can they consume so much resource and time trying to capture a Pikachu? At some point, they could have just purchased one (or one thousand) on the black market… or trained a few themselves. No seriously, crime pays, just not how they do it.

(My plan if I were Team Rocket’s boss? Start up a meth business and use the meth money to buy ultrapowerful Pokemon. Then get Satoshi, Misty, and Brock looked on meth.)


I like how the Professor is sitting between Satoshi and his mom. I’m 100% convinced that he’s banging the mom. In fact, I think he pimps out the mom… how else can you explain how Satoshi gets the moolah to travel and catch Pokemon?

(I’m also confused how Ash– err– Satoshi can miss so much school. If I told my mom I need to skip class to catch Pokemon, she’d slap the back of my head.)


Chuckled. Professor Ararararararagi.


Solemn Pikachu is no fun. He/she apparently loses the ability to use electric abilities due to an attack by a mysterious Pokemon (this never happens!), as if he/she got EMP’ed by the nuke from Highschool of the Dead. More importantly, did we ever figure out Pikachu’s gender? You’d think after 15 years, it would be revealed. Not even Mako-cakes or Touma can keep their gender secret for that long.

(Yes, yes, if this leads to IRON PENIS WHIP attack jokes, so be it. Maybe this is why they can’t reveal the gender.)

(You can probably guess how this episode goes. You’ve seen one Pokemon episode, you’ve seen them all. Much like if you’ve read one blog post from this blog, you’ve read them all. OH GEASS NO MEIDO HARUHIGASM LEBRON JAMES KILLER LOLIS PONYTAIL EMO FACIAL DISTORTION)


Oh gosh, the new Pokemon… GO WITH SMUGLEAF!!! This is like picking between watching Bakemonogatari, Dazzle, and Angel Links. The other two starter Pokemon look like a rabbit/pig love child and a clown/barnacle/panda lovechild. No thanks.

(Enjoyed how Satoshi went gaga crazy for each Pokemon. You know, after 10,000 Pokemon, you’d think he’d be slightly less enthused about the next one? Ho-hum, yet another frickin’ Pokemon I gotta catch. But, no, he spazzes out like Paris Hilton and a pile of cocaine. I just can’t wait for Satoshi to grow into puberty and approach girls with the same glee you approaches catching Pokemon. Gosh, he could be the hero for DNA^2!)

(Also, Satoshi has been 10 for the past, what, 15 years? This is approaching Bart Simpson-level of absurdity. But they’re both behind Ian Ziering on 90210 as worst age casting. Nothing beats Ian’s receding hair line as a high school student.)


I like how a level 999 Pikachu can lose to a level 1 Smugleaf. You’d think even without thunderbold, an iron penis whip is more than enough to deal with the newb. This show is more rigged than the WWE. And, yes, I will continue to refer to Tsutaja as Smugleaf the same way I refer to Sound Effect Sensei as Sound Effect Sensei or Mako-cakes as Mako-cakes.


The Gary replacement, Shootie, is an asshat. So maybe Smugleaf was a good fit for him. I’m amazed that 15 years later, there’s still no Pokemon app. They have to get new Pokedex… you’d think there would be a Pokemon app or at least a Pokemon website in this imaginary world by now? And what kind of mom is Satoshi’s mom if she lets him travel all around without a pager or a cell phone? They really need to update the technology in this show… even Homer Simpson eventually got an HDTV. Satoshi needs an iPhone. (And Pikachu would use one too!)


Why do all of Pikachu’s attacks make him/her/it/Mako-cakes look so constipated?

(More importantly, it’s clear Pikachu can understand Japanese and English. Why can’t he speak it? Never understood this R2D2 device… is it really that hard to put a real speaker on R2D2? Is it really hard for Pikachu to carry around an iPhone and tap out his responses a la Celty?)

(I would love to see a zombie apocalypse happen in Pokemon. That would be awesome. Zombie Bulbasaur? Yes, please.)

(And, kidding about Keima. I will be blogging his exploits. Unless he starts playing Pokemon because it turns out Pikachu is a 2D female.)

25 Responses to “pokemon best wishes 1”

  1. To be fair, Grass and Ground types are immune to Pikachu’s Electric attacks. And yes, he won’t carry an ephor – no room in the PokeBall for it.

  2. Clown/barnacle/panda lovechild? Clearly this is a sea otter/snowman.

  3. did someone call for a zombie bulbasaur? http://www.redbubble.com/peopl.....-bulbasaur

  4. @Haesslich Not like being a ground-type helped Onyx against Pikachu way back when. But Pikachu’s power level has really deflated as the show went on.

  5. I read somewhere during a foray into tvtropes that Pokemon v2 Red (ie satoshi) is the highest level Pokemon trainer NPC in the entire series. Makes me wonder what a pokemon series staring a 25 year old main character would be like.

  6. The spoofy subs from [Fabulous] are fuckin hilarious. Makes the show 10x better.

  7. I bet the reason Pikachu does not speak or write english is because he has an attitude about it:
    “Hey, I shouldn’t have to learn YOUR language, YOU should be learning MINE!”

  8. @selenie: Onix is overrated. Ditto Steelix. If I have to use Ground pokemon, I would use Graveller, Golem, or even Dugtrio over Onix.

  9. On the Star Wars front, R2 units are rather rude and crude. Since droids are considered basic appliances by most people in that universe, one imagines they don’t want the toaster talking all the time or the garbage disposal giving your a critical analysis of your waste 24/7. R2 units are basic handyman droids to most people. You only want to know if the thing is fixed and be done with it. Also considering how much they try to get C-3PO to shut up, just imagine if all the droids talked like that.

  10. “A clown/barnacle/panda lovechild”? Don’t you want to give one to Mio?

  11. @Skyman747: That made my day.

  12. If you haven’t seen it yet this is relevant:

  13. gamefreak release a Satoshi’s Pikachu for download over the summer, it was confirm as male.

  14. If i was in charge of team rocket, i would also make meth. Only instead of getting Satoshi hooked on meth, i would hook a legendary so that it would do my bidding. For more meth. like getting me a baby panda. Or some mako-cakes. Or reviving Gary Oak.

  15. Let Mugi be in charge of Team Rocket then. “Cakes and Tea” all around.

  16. Hey, just to let you know, they have, although subtlety, revealed Pikachu to be male. In one episode, a Togepi used Attract on a group of Pokemon including Pikachu, and the entire group was attracted, except Jessie’s Yanmega. Jessie’s Yanmega was previously confirmed to be female, meaning the rest of the group is male including Pikachu.

  17. Pokemon also has an upcoming PG-13 movie hitting theaters near you.


  18. Maybe you weren’t bribed, but perhaps someone threatened to staple your mouth or Johny? I was really surprised to see a pokemon entry here of all places. Especially since this fall season is for once actually filled with win (probably).

  19. The 5th Generation starters as a whole are very disappointing, but I agree: Smugleaf is the only reasonable choice.
    Shigeru was here, Satoshi is a loser.

  20. @ginko

    full of win of what?

    This entire year has been a disappointment imo, other then a few gems like Durururur and AB. I haven’t download one series this season and the fall season isn’t filling me joy either.

  21. Iirc Meowth said talking human fills multiple ability slots.

  22. Damnit. Space man beat me to the punch.

  23. This power-down is more contrived than having Samus lose all her clothes.

  24. has any one noticed that Satoshi is not getting any taller. imean look at him he’s still the same height he was at the start of the series.

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