fate/zero 12 and ben-to 11

“Do as you please.”

“Do as you please. Entertainment leads to pleasure… and pleasure will lead you to happiness. Your path is now clear, Kirei. So clear that there’s no need to hesitate. Fuck me in the ass.”


Well, after Kirei technically fucks Archer in the ass, Kirei gets to figuratively fuck Tohsaka-papa in the ass. The best part of this Kirei/Tohsaka-papa/Gilgamesh dynamic is that Tohsaka-papa has been treating Gilgamesh as a kept woman slash bored housewife, and Tohsaka-papa has been leaving some hot stud pool boy Kirei alone with Gilgamesh– what did he expect would happen?! Of course Gilgamesh is going to run off with Kirei! Anyone who has watched soap operas or telenovelas knew this was coming a mile away, especially when Archer let down his hair, swirled some wine around, and asked the pretty church boy what his pleasures are. The fact that he picked up the Archer chess piece just gave the slower viewers a chance to realize, “HOLY SHIT! BETRAYAL!”

(Who knew that in a season with Guilty Crown, Fate/zero would be the most homoerotic show… with Guilty Crown desperately needing some homoeroticism. Or really anything. I’d even settle for a Table-chan at this point. That show needs a shot of heroin so badly.)

(And, yes, gotta enjoy how frightened Kirei looks and how pouncy Gilgamesh looks. Gilgamesh: the bored MILF of Servants.)

Anytime we have to spend half an episode further explanation some Holy Grail War rule that can turn the tide of events, I feel like I’m watching DBZ again. “Wait, there’s a loophole?!” More importantly, Kirei looks like Louis CK during the masturbation episode of Louis the whole time. He has the same look on his face when the lady asked Louis to stick a bag of dicks in her. “Stick that bags of dicks in me.” “This bag? This bag of dicks?” “Yep.” “Wait, you want me to stick the whole bag in there?” “Yes.” “Not one at a time?” “No, the whole bag. Stick it in there nicely.” “You sure? The whole bag? It’s a big bag.”

Poor Kirei. Archer should have asked him to stick a bag of dicks in him.

Yeah, exactly, except with dicks. A bag of dicks.

Ice Witch looks pretty cute with a blushing sickness. Still, I can’t get over the bad science portrayed in this show. She tried to get better by taking a hot bath to kill the virus? LOLWUT? I expect this kind of science knowledge from a southern republican, not from you, Japanese anime. Also, acetaminophen is supposed to cure her? Uh, no, Tylenol just masks the symptoms. With a cold, you just gotta get rest, drink fluids, and avoid having anal sex with Kirei. That’s the key to getting better.

“Noble wolves!”

Sorry. There’s only one noble wolf in my life.

(Gotta like how grocery stores in Japan have been raging bento battles for the past decade, and no one notices. No police. No newspaper stories. Nothing. It’s like Fight Club, only if Fight Club occurred in the middle of a 99 Ranch in front of a bunch of cute Asian kids. And it never got facebooked or tweeted about.)

Did like Emiya recapping the battle situation while enjoying an Arch Deluxe. Liked his old timey cell phone.

“Was it not what you expected?”

I would love to see a House Hunters with Irisviel. She seems like she is pretty sensible, and I’ll like commentary like, “Well, it does protect me from the rain and wind, but the walls are too flimsy to keep in my mana” and “The granite tabletops and kitchen are fantastic, but there’s just not enough local ley-lines for me.” Even better if Emiya were tagging along, “There’s not enough storage space here for my sniper rifles. We can’t buy this place, Irisviel.” Then Saber would jump in with a snipe, “Pig.” comment.

“An interest you are aware of is nothing but an obsession.”

That describes Ben-to too well. Let’s get killed for half-priced lunch food! Yeah!

(Though I am beginning to think Ben-to is inspired by Black Friday. Waffle iron for $5?! I don’t even like waffles, but I’ll beat the crap out of this elderly lady to get one! Mine! Mine! Mine! Ah, consumerism at its best. We really are pig– limited edition Hatsune Miku doll?! MINE! MINE! MINE!)

Ash Catchem? I like how Ben-to breaks out the Karate Kid III playbook here… “Hey, let’s introduce a character that has done nothing for the past few years except browbeating a little kid!” If you remember, the main villain of Karate Kid III basically stopped his successful business so he can bully Daniel-san by breaking Miyagi’s bonsai trees. “You know what, instead of checking up with my clients or read the Wall Street Journal, I’m going to smash some trees to piss off some guy wearing fat jeans!”

They took out Sato scenes from the new OP, and they added in scenes of Orthos adjusting their thigh high socks? Swiftly approved.

Uh-oh. Not good news. Can’t have Saber x Irisviel bonking if Irisviel can barely put on clothes. This is bad. I take it Fate/zero is trying to entertain me with plot and story rather than cheap sexual shenanigans. Well, I mean besides Kirei and Archer.

“… I’ll become my teacher’s enemy?”

I like how after the decree to stop Caster was announced, that plot point has been ignored for the past three episodes. Sorry, bro, too busy playing Skyrim scheming to stop Caster.

“Let’s drink our coffee in the evening.”

That’s exactly what Archer said to Kirei. Though I have this kicking need to drink some Pocari Sweat.


1. Kirei is going to backstab Tohsaka-papa and elope with Archer.

2. Orthos will team up with Ice Witch resulting in the greatest collection of bento battlin’ thigh meat ever.

3. Santa Claus is coming to town.

11 Responses to “fate/zero 12 and ben-to 11”

  1. I thought the Geass revenues were in Ben-To, not F/Z.

    Pity about what’ll happen to Irisveil.

  2. Fate/Zero 12 answers the burning question:”Can one make an episode more talky, lethargic, and boring than fate/zero 11?”

    The answer is a resounding YES. This episode is almost comatose. Apparently someone missed the fact that anime is supposed to be ‘animated’. Something better happen in 13 to make saving the production resources in 11 and 12 worthwhile.

    A pdf of the dialog with a handful of illustrations would have conveyed the gist of this episode in 5 minutes, rather than napping through 25 minutes of static talky-talk. Episode 13 will probably be a round table discussion by Austrian macro-economists on the euro crisis.

  3. Dude, it’s an adaptation of a novel based on a text-scrolling game. We’re lucky it’s fully voiced.

  4. Fate/Zero 11 was boring? Surely this anime is not for you then.

  5. Anything written by NisiOisiN is also not for you as well.

  6. Not to mention that ufotable went to the effort of actually animating body language as opposed to sticking up a bunch of talking heads.

    Though Kirei’s body language was just hilariously suggestive here.

  7. Congrats Jason, yopu have hit the big time.

    you have a troll infestation :D

  8. Episode 11 of Fate/Zero was great, but a slow-burn build-up episode like that should have been followed by some payoff action, not more talky bits. “The calm before the storm” is a good storytelling technique, but you need to have a storm after your calm.

  9. I think things in Fate/Zero are progressing nicely. When it’s time for action, we have high intensity, beautiful battle scenes. When it’s time for story, we have fully animated characters with body language. From what I’ve read so far of the novels (which are over at baka-tsuki), the anime has been very faithful to the source material, though I’m not caught up to the anime yet. I know everyone wants moar Iskander and moar battlin’, and those wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing, but trust in the story and I’m sure you’ll eventually be rewarded.
    From my very fuzzy memory of the Fate/Stay Night anime, I also think the scenes this episode with Saber and Irisveil at the Japanese mansion are supposed to be sort of a “fan service” as that mansion and storage room are where that story begins.
    As for Ben-To, a blushing Ice Witch is fine too. Was a little disappointed by the fact the OP gave away that Orthros are going to be joining the club at the end. Was a little sad that the next episode is the last when it feels like there really won’t be full closure on the story.

  10. Orthos will be the main characters now? Time to add Ben-To to the must-watchlist then.

    What do you mean no SaberXIrisviel? There’s always mana transfers between the Master and the Servant. Problem solved. Bonus if they somehow manage to incorporate Avalon as a dildo.

  11. Just had to mention it – Iri having problems putting on clothes sounds like exactly the sort of thing that will lead to Iri/Saber bonking.

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