blog好き

Jul 28 2003

Categories: life

1 Comment »

One thing that I really notice at work is that people always sign their e-mails “Best Regards,” or “Regards.” WTF happened to “Sincerely”? “Regards” just sounds like some sort of cop-out where you just feel ho-hum about that e-mail. If you are going to tag your sig, you might as well show some sincerity to your e-mail, and what better way to do so than to use “Sincerely”? Who first came up with this “Regards” nonsense? And why did all the lemmings follow? Why would writing e-mail be different than writing a-mail?

I think there is a difference, mentality-wise, with e-mail. It’s quicker. It’s instant, almost (minus hotmail). It’s sexycrazycool. We tend to view e-mail as quick and dirty communication, hence why I usually don’t sign anything, and if I do, it’s usually just “J”, even though I’m rarely ever called “J” in real life. I also tend to substitute “j00” = “you” and “lmao” = “lemon mango apple orange” smoothie, not for convenience sake, but for slang’s sake. If you can say “hizzel” in the h00d, then you can say “chix0r” in the w3b.

So when companies need to “formalize” e-mail, they needed a way to sound formal without looking too formal, hence the evolution of “Regards”. I know my boss wouldn’t understand me if I wrote “n00b” in my e-mail… if he did, I’d probably invite him to a Halo deathmatch. Emoticons are also a “no” in corporate e-mail, but attached random jpegs of tigers and flowers are okay (I’m serious, I get this junk). No one understood my e-mail about “I figured out what’s wrong with the TDR machine ^^” or “So I shouldn’t delete the files in the ‘Do No Delete’ drive? ^^;; “.

In short, reading corporate e-mail makes me feel like I’m watching my dad trying to play DDR— it’s not natural, so it’s ends up being an unservicable, unfathomable mistake. I’m not even going to go into the 3vils (no, it’s spelled right) of corporate IM. Companies should just stick to talking on the phone and distributing paper memos. If I ever have my own company, I’d have the company firewall bounce back e-mail with “Regards,” in it saying “Sorry, j00 not l33t.”

Rooting through your pr0n collection,
jason

Best regards,
jason

J