this post has 24 minutes
Olympic fever grips everyone… except those huddled next to their LCD panels gripped in suspense over the most recent episode of Zero no Tsukaima Princess no Rondo. It’s a very hypnotic series.
(This Post Has 24 Minutes is a fanboy examination of noteworthy events. Some readers may not share this sense of brokenness.)
This week we saw the new attack ad by McCain that paints Obama as a celebrity, comparing him to Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and Sheryl Nome. Unfortunately, I think McCain missed the point: it is a popularity contest. Instead of showing off delicious thigh meat for stimulus, it’s all about showing off tax breaks for economic stimulus. However, the best part of the attack ad was Paris running her own attack ad making fun of McCain (and a bit of Obama). And then Obama releasing his own counter-attack ad comparing McCain to George W. Bush, Bozo the Clown, and Lulu. “Do you really want a leader who forgets to rescue epic melonpan?” asks Obama.
Meanwhile, Obama’s veep search continues. He’s looking into potential wrathful lolis as his running mate, but he hasn’t tipped his hand as whether Louise, Shana, Nagi, or Taiga is the current favorite. Irregardless of who he chooses, they all sound the same. (And I enjoyed Drakron calling Taiga “Louise Mk.II”… very fitting. Except Taiga doesn’t have a melonpan complex, and that’s a good part of Louise’s charm.)
(What anime character would be the best veep choice? Hands down, I would go with Tomoyo. Runner-up would be Hinagiku. Third would be Mai Hime Shizuru. Distant last would be the cast of Mai Otome 0 S.ifr.)
In other entertainment news, Mary Kate Olson has been dropped as a suspect in Keith Ledger’s death. Even Utau Hoshina thinks Mary Kate is a skinny bitch.
Twenty-six cheerleaders were trapped in an elevator in an University of Texas dorm while trying to see how many 14 to 17 year cheerleaders could fit inside an elevator. This just so happens to be the scenario of Pixy-Soft’s newest h-ova, except the latter features more tentacles.
(When I saw this “How to do an elevator in cheerleading” wiki article, I read the title as “How to do a cheerleader in an elevator”… what did we do before on-line wikis…)
A swinger sex club has been uncovered in Texas where children as young as five were forced into sexual acts and forced into taking Vicodin. This just so happens to be the scenario of Milky’s hit h-ova from last year, Bible Black: Tyler Texas. (First the cheerleaders and this… what do they put in the water in Texas?! And please don’t leave any “I’ll looking for a realtor that specializes in the Corpus Christi area” comments. You’re above that. Thanks.)
A giant pair of bloomers from medial Europe sold on auction for 4,500 pounds. These 50-inch waist underpants were rumored to have been worn by Queen Victoria, and, after her death in 1901, by C.C., who had just discovered Italy and delicious pizza.
At long last, our national nightmare is over. Brett Favre has been traded to the J-E-T-S. Hopefully, in about a week, Jim Rome will talk about something other than Favre. Just be a little more patient… that national nightmare is almost over… but the national nightmare where five fansub groups fight over speed subbing Sekirei where no one is working on Kamen no Maid Guy any more continues. (And are you looking forward to this epic hot spring unairable episode as I am? If no one subs this, I might go on a nineteen state and four country killing spree. “Ethical regulations”… ha. You just can’t contain Kogarashi’s gar nor Fubuki’s easiness.)
As part of a truly global effort, the Dutch are installing a high-tech concrete material invented in Japan that promises to clean pollution form the air. The concrete is formed by adding sakuradite to the mixture. No word yet as how progress is going on the new high-tech concrete material that Japan is developing to remove Kyonko from our memories.
A man installs (literal) spyware programs on a woman’s laptop and uses it to take images of the woman while she undresses. In a completely unrelated story, Rolo just offered to hook Lulu up with some bitchin’ mp3s and wallpaper if Lulu leaves his laptop with Rolo for a few hours.
In travel news, JetBlue joins the chorus of airlines out to rip you a new asshole. They are now charging $7 for an “eco-friendly” travel blanket and pillow. Frequent fliers can upgrade to a deluxe “eco-friendly” travel blanket and a comfy meido pillow.
29 Responses to “this post has 24 minutes”
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Dear Jason:
I’ll be looking for a realtor that specializes in the Corpus Christi area.
Signed,
Jacko.
I’m going to start charging for readers to leave eco-friendly comments. Thanks for the idea Jet Blue!
Meido pilllows are good, but half-elf pillows pawn all.
I’ll take the eco-friendly meido pillow… made from all natural products :D
Inverse/Kogarashi in 2012. The debates and political ads would be the best ever.
So you think the Brett Farve to the J-E-T-S is gonna go away. Ha You don’t live in the New York Area. Besides who you think in the vastness of Anime can pull off what Brett did?
So first veep choice would be Tomoyo and second would be Hinagiku, this is why we’re blessed with 3 pictures of Hina. I do believe Tomoyo has more thigh meat than Hina.
This is such an entertaining election year, and this blog’s version of the campaigns only makes it more hilarious.
The Favre trade has got me thinking: what anime characters should be traded from their respective franchises, and how would the public benefit?
all of Wisconsin is sad and upset right now, glad I’m a Browns fan I don’t have to expect anything from my team.
…Since when did you start watching Canadian television?
Sad day to be a Packer fan….
But its my Bday so time to shovel down some ice cream and sushi.
I hate to be pedantic, but the 1890s hardly count as “medieval.” Even the Japanese were wearing trousers by then. The word you’re looking for is, ironically enough, Victorian (or I suppose you could call it the Industrial Revolution or something).
Regardless, I wouldn’t be surprised if CC had a hand in the Italian unification, perhaps contracting with Garibaldi to bring the peninsula together and thus secure pizza for coming generations. Code Giuseppi, if you will.
>> The Favre trade has got me thinking: what anime characters should be traded from their respective franchises, and how would the public benefit?
I love this comment, but the public doesn’t benefit with the Favre trade. Who wants to add a J-E-T-S Favre jersey to a Patrick Ewing Magic jersey or a Seahawks Rice jersey? Which cheese head wanted to see Brett go? Anyway, I’m just going to explore trades that made sense for both franchises.
(Something like Lulu for Kogarashi doesn’t work because Kogarashi would destroy Britannia in one episode while Lulu would get Naeka killed in one episode.)
The problem with Code Geass is that it lacks a real moral center. All the great stories have some sort of moral compass, and without one, Code Geass just seems ridiculous. There’s just no sane, reasonable character on the show, so I would introduce one. There just so happens to be a franchise that matches up perfectly: Clannad.
I would trade Nagisa and Yukine for Shirley, Milly, and a dozen Britannian dresses. Code Geass gets two sane characters in Nagisa and Yukine, both of whom would bring more to the plot than Shirley ever did. Without Nagisa, Clannad can finally have its manifest destiny fulfilled with Tomoyo as the focus. Shirley and Milly would add to the epic melonpan collection, and Britannian dresses are just icing on top. Both franchises get stronger with this trade, and it also works under the death cap (since one dead haremette is traded per side).
>> …Since when did you start watching Canadian television?
Since when did you start reading this blog? I’ve been making references to Hockey Night in Canada and curling for years now. “this post has 24 minutes” has also a running item for a few months now…
>> So you think the Brett Farve to the J-E-T-S is gonna go away. Ha You don’t live in the New York Area. Besides who you think in the vastness of Anime can pull off what Brett did?
Easy. L-U-L-U.
Well, I’m glad I don’t live in the NY area– no one cares about New York/Boston sports outside of that area. Nationally, the story will die once the Olympics start and athletes starts collapsing because of the pollution in Beijing. (Plus, it’s the freakin’ J-E-T-S… they’re the Islanders to the Rangers.)
“Keith” Ledger?
And are you looking forward to this epic hot spring unairable episode as I am?
That’s it, I’m going to Yakuza’s IRC channel and bombing them with Maid Guy Voice till they start subbing again…
Freeter: no! The Fish Guy Wang images would make them abandon the project altogether!
As for trades, what happens if Nanase is traded for Tiffania? Both have nearly the same cup size, and ignoring Grace hiring Nanase would be good. Then we’d have more yuri as she would focus on Louise, giving Saito the best of both worlds. Plus, she wouldn’t cockblock Sheryl or Ranka as she’s a shotacon, which also gives Luca a chance with her. Everyone wins.
Tiffania would give Luca a chance and non cockblock, even.
Damn it! I was hoping to have Brett in Florida this year; another misery year for Miami.
Aside from the NFL and Peeping Tom references, I guess you’re right to point out how hilarious this electoral campaign is turning out. Regardless of the winner, the US has dark times coming down the Hill. I’m with Obama by the way.
Nothing like relating major, real-life events to the happenings of fictitious universes made for escapists (and Japanese) to put everything into proper perspective. This whole, crazy world seems to make sense now!
Oh Jason, what would I ever do without you?
“If no one subs this, I might go on a nineteen state and four country killing spree”
I will join you…
“No word yet as how progress is going on the new high-tech concrete material that Japan is developing to remove Kyonko from our memories.”
if we dont find a cure soon, the kyonko virus will take over the world!!!
“Frequent fliers can upgrade to a deluxe “eco-friendly†travel blanket and a comfy meido pillow.”
this could actually save the airline industry… who ever said enviromentalism is boring?…
>I would trade Nagisa and Yukine for Shirley, Milly, and a dozen Britannian dresses. Code Geass gets two sane characters in Nagisa and Yukine, both of whom would bring more to the plot than Shirley ever did. Without Nagisa, Clannad can finally have its manifest destiny fulfilled with Tomoyo as the focus. Shirley and Milly would add to the epic melonpan collection, and Britannian dresses are just icing on top. Both franchises get stronger with this trade, and it also works under the death cap (since one dead haremette is traded per side).
I haven’t actually watched Clannad or Code Geass R2 and am relying completely on second-hand information, but like the average BCS voter, I feel qualified to throw in my 2 cents. I like your “addition by subtraction” approach, but you are forgetting your own quote of the Joker a few posts back: sanity is like gravity. It’s like when an aging star in the twilight of his career gets traded to a franchise with a history of failure, and instead of breathing life into his new team, he gets dragged down by the dysfunctional environment created by his teammates/coach/management and eventually staggers off into the sunset. Based on this model, I predict anything could happen to Nagisa, from inexplicable recovery from a serious illness, to tablehumping.
On the Clannad side, I’m not sure how I feel about multiple girls occupying the inconvenient memory loss slot. If we’re going that route, I would prefer to work in post-lobotomy CC instead, who is highly qualified to be a haremette. “Are you going to bully me?” I wonder, I wonder.
I would evade the (salary) death cap using creative math and those weird pointless peripheral additions that occasionally pop up in trades. The dresses are a start, and in addition I propose: the Clannad gym storage shack for Nina’s table.
I would also push for escalator clauses based on the performance of each tradee. “Performance” will be defined on a case-by-case basis, of course.
And finally, there is the practice of trying to sneak an injured/worn-out player past the other team’s physical. Does this mean all traps are disqualified by default?
“This just so happens to be the scenario of Pixy-Soft’s newest h-ova, except the latter features more tentacles.”
i must get three copies!!!
“Oh Jason, what would I ever do without you?”
there would be less brokeness in the world… makes you think…
From elf pillows to miedo pillows….was there a post here…I remember a mixed Haruhi-Kyon-chan picture, but aside from choosing the correct pillow, there is nothing else…is there? Proper neck support and all that you know.
caption for the haruihi picture:
and on the 8th day the goddess looked upon her creation and found it all the more desirable. and besides now they could do each others hair….
I would love to see you host a “Daily Show” styled version of ‘This post has 24 minutes’ on TV.
I’m a Packers fan all the way!
I just ran out and bought my new #12 Scott Hunter jersey.
Plus, evideently, Favre’s pEnoR Beam was not a potentwerful as Ted Thompson’s pEnoR Beam. That in and of itself is the most scary thing that happened today ((other than Tony Kornheiser wearing those coke-bottle glasses on PARDON THE INTERRUPTION)).
AND, according to asecret link on the MoveOn.org website, Sheryl AND Ranka will be be singing Obama’s Victory Theme Song at the Democratic National Convention….. AND they will also, due to some residual nested DO loop from the days of VF-1J, sing Obama’s Victory Theme Song at the Republican National Convention.
syaoran “Damn it! I was hoping to have Brett in Florida this year; another misery year for Miami.”
btw man farve statistically plays better when it’s ass freezing cold. the howling tundra only serves to make him stronger. so maybe it’s a good thing he didn’t go any farther south, maybe not.
hmm as far as anime trades go how about trading who ever is in charge of celestial being in season two of 00 of admiral Spoor from banner of the stars hell maybe ever trade a few pilots for the bebouse brothers. (excuse me if i spell any of these wrong I haven’t read anything from banner in a good while) i think this trade would make for good times all around. i especaly want to see gundam pilots trying to deal with gay mine spam from the latter battles in banner.
Man I want a new haruhi series/novel so bad. That one image prompted me to read the tranlations and watch an episode or two.
Speaking of cockblocks. Damn you KEY. Damn you straight to hell.
Just for your information, I read it as
“How to do a cheerleader in an elevator” in your post, and was about to click on the wiki link when I blinked and saw it the other way.