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Jan 30 2012

Categories: episodic review, nisemonogatari
Tagged: monogatari, nisemonogatari

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“Your passionate gaze is stimulating my imagination a little bit.”

“Weren’t you going to have a heroic tale for me?”

There’s a lot of dropping into episodes without a lot explained this season. I’m okay with the plot device at the beginning of a story to help foreshadow, not so much so in the middle of the story when the plot device has just been used three episodes earlier. I dunno. I think it’s just cheap storytelling gimmicks instead of solid storytelling– you’re only going to resort to B -> A -> C story structure when you know A -> B -> C isn’t going to be great.

(My goal this episode is to get under 30 screenshots and 3,000 words. Also, my schedule for February is crazy, so I might be quite late for episode 5, 6, and 7 posts, and the might not be too long. Other stuff, I have a few “evergreen” posts ready… like Best of 2010. OTL.)

(Also, awesome color choice here Shaft… sorry guys.)

Pouty face and sidetail? Imoutos to be reckoned with.

Slow pan up Hanekawa’s legs, bosoms, and finally head. Was not expecting that Hanekawa cut her hair… like how so far Nadeko and Kanbaru, both whom had short hair, are going long… and how Hanekawa and Senjougahara (eventually), both whom had long hair, are going short. Remember when I was complaining about anime characters not changing outfits enough (see 2006), changing hairstyles is going above and beyond the call of duty.

Araragi’s emo facial distortion face is at best a 3 out on a scale of 1 to Higurashi. I do like how his sisters play innocent lambs around Hanekawa but bitches in front of Araragi. A lot more realistic than little sisters who take sponge baths with their onii-sama. Also, we can tell Hanekawa isn’t an younger sister as she can’t see through their schemes.

The Araragis much use the same architect as the Kanames. My gosh, what kind of sitting room is this? There’s no furniture? There’s this weird staircase that’s the focal point of the room? There’s this huge magnificently done window that’s like three stories tall? I thought from the outside, the Araragi house was a typical suburban colonial. Where the fuck was this huge ass window that’s taller than most suburban colonial houses? As much as I enjoy Shaft’s visual designs, their architecture sensibilities need work.

“Nii-chan is trying to get Tsubasa-san into his room!”

I like how the sisters refer to Hanekawa via her first name yet Araragi still refers to her with her last name. Mmm. Also, they’re not teasing Araragi about telling Senjougahara (Hitagi-chan?) about having another woman in his room, which I think implies they don’t know about Senjougahara. Double mmm.

(Andohbytheway, why isn’t anymore curious why Koyomi is wearing handcuffs. Wouldn’t this elicit some questions? Did he join a death metal band? Did he break out of jail? Did his girlfriend tie him up and try to rape him? “No, I wasn’t tied down and almost raped by my girlfriend… that didn’t happen. You’re confusing me with Yukiteru.”)

It’s like she’s petting two puppies. Hanekawa is just so disarming. My gosh, I want to vote for her for President. She would be the second greatest anime character that could be President. The first, of course, is Gendo Ikari Eikichi Onizuka. “You don’t want to pass my budget? German suplex!”

“If you’re not strong, you’ll lose. The first requirement of being a hero isn’t being right– it’s being strong. That’s why the hero always wins.”

I am almost 100% sure I heard a similar monologue during Frank Miller’s run on Batman. But it pretty much describes Batman– Bruce wins because he’s stronger and smarter than his opponents, and it’s his strength that lets him keep going. Losing means losing everything and that he can’t be Batman again (except for plot devices like after Knightfall, ugh, when I stopped caring). But Koyomi is doing a great job in channeling that sentiment.

Fuck, explain to me Koyomi’s bedroom. There’s a huge bed (that thing looks longer than a California king) without any blankets or pillows on it. There’s bookshelves with books looking like they are on top of said bookshelf instead of inside it. There’s a huge banana chair that I am so envious of. There’s no clothes or clothes storage anywhere. I don’t get it. It’s more like a modernist bachelor pad than the room of a high school student.

(That bed? It’s the Hopen frame from Ikea. The Hopen has the same back curve to the headboard, which you can’t see that well from this screenshot, and it has thicker panels. But, effectively, that’s a rip-off of the Hopen, which was probably a rip-off of some other bed elsewhere. Sad how much I know about Ikea furniture…)

(Please, I don’t ask for much, but more doujishi featuring Senjougahara and Araragi on the banana chair would be fantastic.)

The desk looks normal. Surprised that Koyomi has a cheap, generic laptop rather than a Macbook Air. It’s like finding out Al Gore drives a 12 mile to the gallon Escalade.

There’s also this moon phase thing on this wall (reminds me a bit of Homura’s pad) with a wire-frame blimp. Shinbo is a graphic artist, not an architect. Nor an interior decorator. That much is certain.

With the shorter hair and without the glasses, Hanekawa looks, uh, more flirty. Or maybe I’m just focusing too much on how she makes tiny movements with her legs, constantly adjusting her thigh positions. Pretty much every other studio would just animate this scene statically (see Katanagatari), but Shaft tosses in these tiny movements that really bring some life to it.

“It’s like you were telling yourself that too.”

The shorter hair also shows off her baby face. Just want to pinch those cheeks.

Araragi has a banana chair and a swinging dango chair. Dude has awesome taste.

“Karen-chan and Tsukihi-chan!”

Loved Tsubasa’s gentle but stern correcting of Koyomi. She’s the best. Sometimes, I think Tsubasa and Hitagi need to have a catfight over Araragi until I realized Hanekawa would probably eviscerate Senjougahara. Hanekawa just has that hidden tiger vibe to her– you just don’t want to wake her or her cat alter ego. If Hanekawa wanted Araragi, do you think Senjougahara could actually do anything about it? It’ll be like playing against your older brother in basketball when you’re little: dude is just humoring you.

“Hanekawa Tsubasa is always in her uniform.”

Dammit Shaft, I have a hard enough time following one conversation, let alone two. This is like trying to deal with a baneling bust at my natural’s ramp while trying to execute a drop into my opponents main at the same time. And totally forgetting to get combat shield upgrade…

“I’d also seen her in her underwear. But that doesn’t really count, either. What I really want to is what Hanekawa picks to wear when she’s going out somewhere!”

Note to self: when a girl only wears her school uniform and underwear around you, it means that she wants you to ask her out so you can see her in other clothing. At least that’s my best guess. Hanekawa is kinda boring like that… she doesn’t tease Araragi as much as the other haremettes, but she does so in such an uncompromising way.

(Totally forgot about the Tsubasa underwear thing. Araragi has seen all his haremettes either nakkid or in their underwear now. Stat worth mentioning along the lines of “The Patriots have the 31st worst defense this year.”)

Shaft goes from a pan through Koyomi’s blimp model to a pan up Hanekawa’s body. Typical Shaft. Also, this conversation between Hanekawa and Koyomi is solidly mediocre. There’s not a lot of word play, and there’s a lot of recapping that just isn’t handled well. It feels like Nishin Ishin was just writing filler at this point.

What the fuck is up with this bath?! Why are there spinning cubes? As ridiculously designed as a bathroom from Dance in the Vampire Bund or Madoka I guess? Though I can’t wait for HGTV’s new upcoming hit show: Shinbo’s Secrets, as legendary fashion forward designer Akiyuki Shinbo turns ordinary suburban homes into magical, fantastical worlds. With co-hosts Kyubey and Homura.

I just want to know how do you get such ornate and huge windows inside this building that looks like a perfectly normal suburban home on the outside. Shaft giveth, and Shaft taketh away. “Hey, we’re going to stop with the random real life images of gravure models, but instead we’re going to take out our artistic design frustration out by designing ridiculous architecture choices that in no way make any sense.”

Fanservice for the ladies and non-traditional males. So to be popular with the haremettes, a lead should be ripped, attractive, attentive, kind, and a good guy. What is with this irregular formula? We all know harem males should be insensitive clods who like to trade pr0n VHS tapes in class or trip and fall down on a haremette’s bosom.

Iz dis sum Dance in the Vampire Bund?

“Since now you have seen me nakkid too, I guess that means I’ll have to marry you too.”

Everyone (except possibly Karen and Tsukihi) wants some Araragi semen. That is what I’m learning about Monogatari. Also, Maaya Sakamoto is excellent. But what else is new? The “Ka-ka” if fantastic. Most enjoyable random noise since “Tutturru~”

(Shaft pretty much bought out all the big guns for this franchise in terms of voice talent. If the weakest link so far is Horie Yui for Hanekawa, we’re not doing too bad. I’m glad we didn’t get Aoi Yuki as the replacement for Shinobu… it would definitely be the second coming of Dance in the Vampire Bund and the third coming of Tsukiyomi Moon Phase. Nakkid loli vampires and Shaft. Sigh.)

“You should understand that, my master.”

Well, a few things of note:

1. Shinobu is talking because she feels like talking. Nothing mentioned specifically about the end of Tsubasa Cat granting her the ability or any other trigger. She is just talking. Is it like how Yuki Nagato just decided to fuck around with Haruhi’s God state? Does remind me a bit of the Simpsons episode where it’s a flash forward to the future where Lisa is president ,and everyone jokes about how Maggie can’t shut up.

2. Shaft is tossing loads of money at animating this. The background is dynamic with the water and rose pedal effects (seriously, why do loli vampires generate rose pedals when they emerge from the shadow?), the animation and movement is quite good, and there’s even random CG of gears tossed in Shaft style.

3. The violin heavy BGM is excellent. Shaft has been one of the few studios that have been consistently strong in the BGM lately.

4. There’s a nakkid, ripped Ararararagi in this bathroom with a nakkid, loli blonde girl. Who do you think would stumble into the bathroom? Hanekawa? Big little sister? Little little sister? Kyubey? Chris Hansen?!?

(I feel like greatest moment of anime history would have been Lucius Modestus popping up in Araragi’s bathtub at this moment. “What is this place? What is with this culturally advanced tribe?” That would have been fantastic. So if you’re taking score at home, Kyubey should have been on Mayoi’s shoulder in episode 1, The Paper should have been sleeping in a pile of books at Kanbaru’s house in episode 2, Orthos should have fought with Senjougahara at the store in episode 3, and now Lucius Modestus cameo in episode 4. Prediction for episode 5: Brokangar rides to the rescue. Aw yeah.)

A lot of flipping… a lot of loli fanservice… if you’re keeping score, we’re at one nakkid haremette per two episodes. Significantly behind Highschool DxD‘s pace but significantly ahead of Amagami SS+’s pace.

“I just do what I feel like.”

So how exactly is she different from every other character? In other news, Zynga is ripping off yet another game, Tom Brady is in yet another Super Bowl, and Guilty Crown is in yet another ridiculous plot line.

I just hope Shinbo was yelling, “I don’t care! We’re going to animate a nakkid man, full frontal, behind the blonde loli! And she’s going to have thick, white liquid dripping from her! It’s happening! You’re not stopping me!”

(In other news, a hentai division of Shaft is the next logical step, much like Newt’s moon base plan.)

“A fire bee.”

I really hope Shinobu isn’t turning into Meme. Is she just going to be an encyclopedia of oddities now that Meme is gone? Is she going to be the Fi to Araragi’s Link? Except less clothed?

I like how fast the bathroom lights up to reveal… wow. The heating costs for such a room must be tremendous in the wintertime with so many rooftop windows. Also, how does this fit inside that typical suburban house exterior? Is Keronian technology at work here?

So she started getting really ill after Araragi went to take a bath in his opulent pool. More interestingly, instead of taking Karen to her room, the Scooby gang just decide to leave her in the middle of a huge spiral staircase. Where there’s suddenly a bed with pillows and blankets.

Nisemonogatari BD volume 2 sales sets new records despite carrying an $80 price tag.

“I could make a tasty snack of the bee.”

I could have sworn I read that line in The Hobbit somewhere. Or was it Bizarre Foods? Also, she looks like an elf.

“What are you staring at? If you’re staring this closely at a young girl’s nakkid body, does this make you a true pervert? Your passionate gaze is stimulating my imagination a little bit.”

ಠ_ಠ

Yep. Right on cue. I like how this ridiculous bathroom has such a plain door. One without a lock apparently.

“Onii-chan, where’s that girl?”

I think both. Though when was the last time a non-yandere haremette went for the kitchen knife option after catching the harem lead in a compromising position? Not even post-marriage Naru did this. To be fair, we have plenty of time for Tsukihi to be proven out to be a yandere.

Seems genuinely disappointed she couldn’t stab. slice, and thrust.

Shinobu telling Araragi about how he’s going to outlive everyone… well… Elrond tried to tell Arwen this too, and it didn’t work.

(All that matters is that Koyomi isn’t outliving Mayoi, who is a ghost. That means… yep… Mayoi is the one he truly loves.)

“And so, little by little, Shinobu and I came to a reconciliation.”

Nakkid bath fun time does that to people. Amazing, I know. And where is Shinobu sitting here…

Naisho no Hanashi is cuter than ever. The previous animation for the ED is now… a background texture? Crazy. I have no clue what Shaft is smoking, but I’m sure it’s illegal in my country.

Just for fun, ClariS’s version of Kimi no Shiranai Monogatari, before they were signed.

(Damn, I went over what I wanted to do. Okay, again, next few weeks will be on a slow posting schedule.)