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Jul 10 2013

Categories: episodic review, monogatari
Tagged: monogatari

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“Then let’s be friendly and wash each other’s breasts.”

“I just want to see your naked body. I’m not planning anything beyond that.”

Why do I get the feeling that sums up Shaft’s approach to Monogatari? Not that I have any problem with that… hey, first off, let’s hail our new short-haired overlords. I’m a bit disappointed that we lose legendary Senjougahara ponytail, but I am happy she retains her Senjougahara-ness. I’m also a bit happy to see Hanekawa being a bit feisty (I mean, for Hanekawa), and for her to stand up to Senjougahara when it comes to Ararararagi. We need more Real Housewives of Beverley Hills (or at least Devious Maids) in our anime. Kidding. Maybe.

(Nice dichotomy between Senjougahara and Hanekawa. Senjougahara is still wearing frilly lingerie that complement her figure while Hanekawa looks like she could be a fujioshi cast member of Genshiken The Next Generation. It’s also interesting that both families aren’t doing well, but Senjougahara still makes it a point to wear nice undies.)

Plus their normal clothes. Even though Senjougahara is wearing comfy clothes, they still go well with her figure, and it’s cute. She put some thought into it. Hanekawa, on the other hand, looks like she is moving into Amamizukan.

Also their school clothes. The zettai ryouiki is night and day different for the two. Also Senjougahara rolls up her sleeves whereas Hanekawa… I don’t know… puffs her up like she’s about to audition for a part in Hamlet.

And… head tilt.

I really hope Shinbo is watching Free! right now and going, “Fuck you Kyoto! We thought we were being nice in having Senjougahara and Hanekawa undress just once this episode! How dare you have the cast of Free! undress four fucking times!” And then I hope he screams into his Nokia Lumia, “I don’t care if it doesn’t make sense in the story, get Kanbaru stripping in episode six! And toss in a nakkid Shinobu bath scene while you’re at it! And give Ararararagi more abs! You hear me?! MORE ABS!”

Fat Cat Lim: Even though she likes Kuroko’s Basketball, my wife says she can’t stand the blatant manservice in Free. At least Kuroko’s Basketball manservice was not so in your face, and the series had an actual plot. I found Free’s first episode somewhat enjoyable, but only because I had more fun mocking the manservice and characters than the show’s content. What about your wife, Jason? What does she think of the show?

I don’t mock “manservice” because then we’d have to mock fanservice too. Free!‘s just an awkward attempt to fanservice… it’s obviously guys who are used to doing this kind of fanservice (relevant gif) working out of their element, but there’s nothing wrong with fanservice. It’s like watching fourteen year old boys talk about boobs. I would imagine girl fanservice to be some hot wild guy that she can tame as a normal girl, as evidenced by all the otome games and Twilight. Women fanservice would be non-threatening guys who know how to install kitchen cabinets and crown molding, hence why the Property Brothers have three shows on HGTV right now. Boy fanservice would just be nakkid ladies. Men fanservice would just be nakkid ladies. So it’s a bit charming Kyoto is approaching Free! as they would K-On!.

But fanservice is why people visit my blog. You’re not here for the DOTA analysis. You’re here for the Senjougahara x Hanekawa action. Hell, I watched fifty episodes of Space Bros for the pug fanservice.

(Fashion Czar loves Free!. Especially with a glass of cabernet.)

Shaft, seriously, you couldn’t have come up with a better name for this than “Monogatari Second Season“? Terrible name. First off, it’s the third cours anime-wise. You can’t wave a magic wand and pretend Ararararagi never tried to fluoride his little sister. It’s the fourth production if you count OVAs, as Nekomonogatari leads into this season. So it’s not even the “second” season. Plus, why combo break? The previous three productions were named after books. Why not Koimonogatari or Kabukimonogatari? If this cours covers either of those books, it would be a much better name. Third, the title card even says, “Nekomonogatari White.” At least go with that. I know we had a Nekomonogatari already, but so what? “Nekomonogatari White” or “2” would at least be numerically/story accurate.

(At least it’s not named “My Girlfriend Wants To Get Nakkid With My ‘Secret’ Crush Who Isn’t My Secret Crush Cuz That’s Mayoi” in keeping with the current trend of naming anime based on their premise. Hey, it’s not like my childhood friend and girlfriend don’t get along or that the devil is a part-timer or that my little sister can’t be this cute.)

So. Fucking. Sad. I was already sad when we see Hanekawa sleep in the hallway, but her living like Meme takes it to another level. While I didn’t feel any pangs of sorrow for Meme, I do for Hanekawa. I just picture her parents as any set of awful parents from GTO. The fact that she’s taking it so well and being so damn Hanekawa about it makes it sadder. She’s a lost puppy more than a lost cat.

Not often that we see the oddity itself, which kinda makes me wonder if it is important if they show it. I do like this twist that Arararagi is not around, and the girls have to fend for themselves. It will be interesting to see how this turns out, and I really hope it’s not Ararararagi or Meme swooping in at the end with a phone call or text telling them what to do. I want Senjougahara to slap the hell out of the oddity.

(The DOTA equivalent would be Yunero leaving to farm the jungle so Rylai and Lyralei are left to themselves in the unsafe lane. Last of my kind but first in this.)

Yes, like this. Exactly. Who wouldn’t want a catfight between Senjougahara and Hanekawa? I want them to be like Jennie Garth and Tiffani Amber Thiessen fighting over Jason Priestley. But too bad it wasn’t slapping because of conflict but more of Senjougahara’s way of showing concern. I do like how she is both literally and symbolically slapping sense into Hanekawa… and I enjoyed even more how Hanekawa pointed out that it’s probably more dangerous for Senjougahara to wander around at night in those tight short shorts than it is for her to sleep in an abandoned school.

(They were never in any danger. No one else lives in this freakin’ town. It’s a desolate ghost town for all we know…)

“I was dragged against my will.”

Part of me really hopes they never explain what happened between Arararagi, Mayoi, and Mayoi’s backpack and make it more like the Noodle Incident from Calvin and Hobbes or Kobe’s magical trip to Germany last year. I don’t want the magic to be spoiled.

I think the first three minutes of this episode was an ad for Roomba. It did kinda remind me of the first few minutes of Index where the futuristic Roomba was trying to sweep up Index.

“Don’t mention ‘bed head’!”

Even though Arararagi’s not in this episode, Hanekawa does her best to fill in. It’s just a poor imitation though. She doesn’t react as, uh, intensely as Ararararagi, and she is immune to Senjougahara’s melonpan. Also, Senjougahara pulls her punches a bit even when she’s teasing Hanekawa. She obviously isn’t using full spite mode. Still, it’s a nice pairing as we don’t see enough Hanekawa together with Senjougahara, and it’s nice both are letting their personalities show through to the other. Or I’m just hoping for a fifteen minute long shower scene next episode.

“And now Hanekawa, we shall shower for Araragi.”

I can only imagine the BD sales if Shaft did give us a fifteen minute shower scene. Hell, they should have kickstarted the episode. “If we reach our goal of one million dollars, then we’ll add a fifteen minute long shower scene. However, if we reach our stretch goal of two million dollars, we’ll toss in a bonus scene featuring Nadeko, Mayoi, and Shinbo in a bubble bath.”

(I am all for anime kickstarters. Both Little Witch Academia and Time of Eve have had successful ones, and I think it shows there’s plenty of Western support for anime. The problem is really we just don’t like our distributors. We don’t want to wait two or three years for a show to come over. We don’t want to pay $500 for a BD boxset of a show that aired almost six years ago. But what we do like… having some interaction with the staff. That’s one thing both Academia and Eve have done right. We want the money to be used for, gasp, more anime that we enjoy. It makes us feel more like investors and less like cash cattle. It also lets us give more of the money directly to the content makers. And it stops bad ideas from happening… like if they ever tried to kickstart a Rizelmine third season, well, I don’t think that’s going to be funded. I think this is the way of the future. Anime isn’t mass-market (and, gosh, it tried to be mass-market), and Kickstarter is another option for getting shows made that wouldn’t have been otherwise.

So little Shaft being Shaft. In fact… none. I was totally shocked that by the end of the episode, we didn’t get any Shaft being Shaft. It’s… it’s… amazing. And, you know what? I totally didn’t miss it. Monogatari is a solid story that doesn’t need the extra embellishment. Save it for Hidamari Sketch. I also like how Shaft has kept the animation style constant since Bakemonogatari. I don’t like it when sequels change the visual style from the previous cours… sometimes it’s subtle like with Oreimo and other times it’s blatant like with Moyashimon. Shaft at least has been really good about having a consistent visual design language.

(Did Shaft usher in the new flat design craze? Did some engineer at Microsoft watch Bakemonogatari and decide to mimic the styles for Metro? Can we be sure this didn’t happen?)

More fanservice. I don’t need a reason.

“Stop the blatant foreshadowing.”

Three predictions for next episode…

1. Shaft trolls us and gives us zero Hanekawa x Senjougahara shower time.
2. Mayoi’s bag solves Hanekawa’s tiger problem.
3. Kanbaru, Nadeko, and Shinobu all show up with short hair.