blog好き

Mar 05 2012

Categories: episodic review, nisemonogatari
Tagged: monogatari, nisemonogatari

16 Comments »

“The rest of it is from my hot, curvy body!”

Well, at least now we know the aftermath of Tsukihi’s wrath for catching her siblings in the throes of incest. As much as I would like to think incest amongst siblings is rare, Game of Thrones has taught me otherwise. Then again, it is only through incest that we can have a character as wonderfully amusing as Tyrion Lannister.

“But I can’t take your little sister’s virginity!”

I think reading between the lines, Kanbaru would be okay with it if Koyomi had first dibs. I feel like we’re going to get a deluge of Karen-related doujinshis at Comiket 82. Also, Kanbaru with those short twintails is a good look, especially since she’s also completely nakkid, which adds a layer of complexity to said look. Still, I question Shaft’s choice of leaving Kanbaru furniture-less and living in a sea of books, since we all know this is a realistic room arrangement for a teenage girl. I would like to think in an alternate world line, Kanbaru has a house nicely outfitted with furniture, and she’s reading on a Kindle on a sofa. But, alas, that alternate world line also has world peace, a cure for cancer, wide spread use of nuclear fusion, a moon base, a Guilty Gear XX machine in every arcade, and President Al Gore serving his third term… with secretary of state Kyubey.

Wait, what happened here? Why isn’t the outline of her arm going towards his mouth?

“I promised to bring Karen over this afternoon.”

Why does it feel like Jabba the Hutt preparing to feed his rancor? Also, flexible Kanbaru is flexible…

“Why are you usually nakkid?”

Kanbaru would get along great with the nudist from Ano Natsu de Matteru. I am enjoying that show a lot for it’s a weird blend of Onegai Teacher and Ano Hi Mita Hana no Namae o Bokutachi wa Mada Shiranai… which isn’t a bad thing. I always wonder about anime fans who complain that a show is too similar to another show… why is that a bad thing? If you hang around any anime forum or MAL or reddit, one of the most popular questions is, “Hey, I like this show and this show, can you recommend one similar to it?” No one ever goes, “Hey, I love Cowboy Bebop and Outlaw Star… now recommend me something totally different! I can really go for some hot loli action.” Because anime is this weird medium without endless sequels and seasons (unless you’re Hidamari Sketch or a toriyama show), sequels are the spiritual successor shows, like the line from Mai Hime to Mai Otome to Code Geass to Guilty Crown.

(Honestly, if you want to really enjoy anime and not get caught up into a genre, watch everything. You never know. As terrible as I think Bodacious Space Pirates is, it might be your next favorite show waiting to happen.)

The world of Nisemonogatari is a strange, sterile, lonely one devoid of any sentient life except of those in Araragi’s party. I am not willing to rule out this universe as being a virtual reality a la a Sims game or some sort of human zoo kept by aliens after the human race was left for near extinction. Then again, this is Nishio Ishin… that’s expecting too much from him (her?)… it’s like expecting to not having stomach cramps after eating at Taco Bell.

We’re knee deep in filler dialogue about playing rock paper scissors. It’s not particularly interesting or witty or well-written, but not everything can be awesome. This, of course, doesn’t apply to Karen’s ass, which is always awesome.

Koyomi’s hand motions… I really hope he’s just stretching his fingers in anticipation of laddering in StarCraft.

I would so pay $20 for a book of sexual positions as drawn up as Shaft infographics. Even more so if they named positions like, “The Friend of Younger Sister Twister,” “Blonde Loli Vampire Bathtime,” “Brushing Teeth,” “Crab Is Delicious,” and “The Hanekawa.”

“Fufufu. Do you get it now?”

For a second, Karen was channeling Fuko Ibuki. I half-expected the secret to rock paper scissors to be the secret starfish option.

Awesome. Koyomi came through like a normal older brother instead of an anime one. I don’t understand why he tries of getting out of riding Karen an episode after he took toothbrushing to the next level. His character’s sisconness flip flops almost as much as a politician.

That’s some, uh, detailed drawing work there Shaft. I hope a rapper one days hires Shaft to animate their music video– they know how to back that ass up.

I want that keychain. Oh gosh, she couldn’t possibly…

… no…

Mother of Oharuhi-sama. I hate to see such a lovely ponytail go. With the more than half of the original five haremettes getting new hair cuts, I didn’t expect Karen to do the same in such a vicious and raw manner. Wow. Just wow. Kyon, I, and the rest of the ponytail admirers club all take a moment of silence in remember Karen’s sidetail. RIP.

“It’s a lot lighter.”

I like how her egg hairpin manages to fall back in place. Such control. Still, I can’t wait to see how Senjougahara cuts her hair now… anything short of a flamethrower would be a bitter disappointment.

Koyomi’s O: reaction is no different than mine. It’s the same as:

A. Discovering that your opponent has been operating on a hidden third base all this time.
B. Pharell seeing Michael’s Mortal Kombat dress on Project Runway.
C. Me watching yet ridiculous jump by Inori on Guilty Crown.
D. Anyone getting a letter on Downton (“Downtown”) Abbey.
E. Broshep right when he realizes that sexing up Morinth is a bad idea.
F. Finding out about Christina Hendrick’s leaked topless photos.

I’m on top of the world! Until Karen mentions about how Koyomi’s johnny is “discomforting” her, so she should cut that off too. At this point in Nisemonogatari, who doesn’t want to cut off his johnny? Nadeko?

Karen stuck Koyomi on top of her. Combined Karen-Koyomi Araragi have outgrown the earth. It can only mean one thing: their spiral energy is boundless. They will soon be able to do battle with the anti-spirals and liberate the remaining 12 humans left on earth. As Kamina would say, the key point is the combining.

Aren’t these all sexual positions? I see the “Gurren-Lagann,” the “Titanic,” and the “Vertical 69.” I am so much more interested in this Shaft visual guide to sexual positions than I am about how Shaft managed to squeeze Kyubey into this series. If anything, I am disappoint. Shaft managed to squeeze Mesousa into so many more places he didn’t belong than Kyubey.

(if Mesousa and Kyubey reproduced, would their offspring be named, “Nochance”?)

“Nii-chan, is giving someone a ride on your shoulders always this erotic?”

Not always.

New bad ass female character? Check. I really hope she turns out to be Meme’s ex-girlfriend from college.

The ridiculousness of the situation is pretty ridiculous. Araragi is still on his sister with neither of them willing to get off despite getting discovered by another actual human being. One, may I add, is acting suspicious enough to be the antagonist of this arc. One thing about Monogatari is really the lack of an antagonist. There’s really no central one but a mish-mash… yeah, Kalki is supposed to be one, but he’s not in the same category as a Kyubey or a Rush Limbaugh. There’s just the animal spirits, but they are manifestations of the character’s deepest traits. It’s almost like Persona 4 Mass Effect 2 Clannad where you go around fixing everyone’s personal problems such that they become more effective members of your team. Nonetheless, it would be interesting if Koyomi gained an actual Gary to his Ash, but I don’t think he needs it. He has enough broken haremettes to mend.

It’s Bambi. I half-expected Hanekawa to be either in a beautiful sunlit clearing surrounded by cute rabbits, birds, and deer or at home in front of a wall full of pictures of Araragi with the occasion picture of Araragi with Senjougahara with Senjougahara’s face blacked out with a Sharpie.

He’s like a puppy trying to please his master. Does it bother anyone else that the past two episodes has featured Koyomi pining for his sister and Hanekawa and not his girlfriend? His deadly girlfriend who still has all those sharpened pencils that she originally intended for Kalki? I always imagined Koyomi as being the steady and true rock, kinda like the dad in Family Ties or Charles in Charles i Charge. Well, I guess he is a male harem anime character so he can’t escape his fate of being a pervert and a lecher.

“I don’t know everything. I just know what I know.”

I just want to know where the hell is Hanekawa? I just want Shaft to produce a map of this town. Nevertheless, Hanekawa’s now signature line makes it seem like she would fit right in with the Penguindrum cast. Isn’t it electrifying? Yada, I must crush her soon. Fabulous max! IMAGINE!!!

I knew it. Yozuru must be an old flame of Meme’s trying to settle an old score. This, of course, is before Facebook and the advent of revenge sexting.

“She’s probably as good as my teacher…”

… her level is OVER 9,000!!!

I would have preferred a boxing intro.. “In the blue trucks, owner of 15,532 books and zero furniture, it’s the erotic lesbian, Kanbaru!” Also, Koyomi just leaves Karen there? Karen will be eaten up by the Kanbarumono.

(Andohbytheway, weren’t Kanbaru’s melonpan larger than as portrayed here?)

There’s something off about this sign, but I don’t know what yet. I think it’s that the brother’s ahoge is like 2X the size of the sister’s. I could be wrong.

*sigh*

How I feel about yet another Araragi x Mayoi scene. These are quickly becoming the ZvZ of Nisemonogatari. Koyomi and Mayoi need to come to terms with their feelings for each other sooner rather than later.

Underaged sexual harassment shadow puppets. I think we should all be glad the right wing media hasn’t discovered anime yet… “Wait, perverted cartoons promoting good dental hygiene and underaged incest that are pirated?! PITCHFORKS! TORCHES! OUTRAGE!”

Araragi conversing and agreeing with himself is hilarious. Now this is Nishio Ishin. This is also how I imagine Charlie Sheen’s mind works.

“To love her as much as I can…”

About that snapping sound I just heard…

I like how Koyomi is running to Mayoi a la Usain Bolt. I like how despite it seeming she’s not that far away, he’s actually pretty far away. I like how Araragi has bumped into her so many times already… it’s not like he’s stalking her via an app or anything like that. I like how Shinbou grabs him and faceplants him. Nicely done with that cockblock.

Araragi commenting on how he’s willing to wait for Mayoi’s melonpan to come into season is quite disturbing. But at least it throws a wrinkle into the zergling / baneling / roach rock paper scissors that is ZvZ. (Araragi investing in Mayoi futures? Mmm… maybe we should have a website devoted to trading futures in underaged haremettes to see which ones will grow up into the most, uh, haremlicious of haremettes? “I’d like to liquidate my holdings on Ushio… after it is revealed Jun Maeda is writing Clannad 2: Clannad Harder, I have bad feelings about it. But I am slowly increasing my position on Mayoi… Araragi has given her a recent upgrade.”

“The rest of it is from my hot, curvy body!”

Mayoi-related goods see a huge uptick in Japan.

“I do like you, but I don’t like flat lolis.”

A bold face lie from Araragi. Bold. Face. Lie.

“But you know, Hachikuji. I am dating Senjougahara, and I love Hanekawa. But I plan to marry you.”

Araragi is such a player. I feel like he should be the lead in a K-drama and star in his own rap video produced by Jay-Z. Also, after seeing this near kiss and the near kiss in Ano Natsu de Matteru, I am thinking that kisses happen in anime are significantly slower than kisses that happen in real life. Here’s a tip, harem anime males. Don’t think about it! Don’t pause! Go in there guns blazing and stick that tongue in. It’s not like assembling a Gundam model, there’s no need to be that delicate or deliberate.

“How can I get this overflowing passion to Hachikuji’s heart? Touch it directly, maybe?”

Duh.

“Will fondling them make her understand?”

Double duh. Of course you fondle her heart… that’s what hearts are good for… fondling… and girls love nothing else but to get their hearts fondled…

(Shaft should have licensed Kenny Loggins’ Danger Zone for the BGM here. It would be a colossal waste of money, but I can’t think of a more appropriate song for this situation than Spreadin’ out her wings tonight / She got you jumpin’ off the track / And shovin’ into overdrive.

“I bit you.”

I think Shaft purposefully turned up Mayoi’s cute factor in this episode by 20 just to finish off turning their audience into DFC loli siscons. It’s even weirder that the only character that hasn’t gotten a major fanservice run is Mayoi.

“Amagami!”

This is what Amagami SS+ plus needs and sorely lacks. How can you make an anime that is based off love nibbles and forget to include said love nibbles?

Kikimaru: “I can’t watch this on the bus anymore. Well, without headphones.”

A good rule of thumb is, “If blog好き is blogging it, it probably isn’t safe to watch in a public place.”

cyruz: “Dentai.”

This makes it sound too much like that movie about vagina dentata.

rick: “Did you notice the whole clockwork orange theme working throughout the toothbrush scene. The music, the Koyomi eye at 17:31. Its trying to break Karen by using perversion but thoroughly fails.”

Great observation. But if you mean “fail as he doesn’t get to second base with his sister,” you are correct. However, I think it is a success as he would have hit a grand slam home run eight times over if the two of them were home alone, and Tsukihi were in Hawaii or something.

(It’s more fun to imagine Kyoto Animation watching this episode and then tossing their script for the first episode of the next season of Haruhi Suzumiya in the trash. “Welp, so much for Kyon giving Imouto a flossing.”)

Yotsugi looks kinda out of place in this world. Her outfit and hair doesn’t seem… mmm… Bakemonogatari enough. Still, she and her friend are foreshadowing his arc as they properly identified the animal spirits that go along with Karen and Mayoi… and Mayoi can be seen? Did the end result of Mayoi Snail decloak her? Or is it just Yotsugi’s observational powers? Cue Naisho no Hanashi.