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Jul 22 2006

Categories: anime, episodic review, zero no tsukaima
Tagged: zero no tsukaima

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I’m beginning to doubt my assesment that Louise is a tsundere. She’s a closest s&m freak.

(I think I’ve the characters more in their nighties than I have in their school uniforms. They need to try this with more anime series.)

Episode three begins with our Pink Haired Zero Magic Mage lounging around in her jammies as her familiar (who should probably wash his own clothes by now) washes her underwear. The two go to class together where they learn basic geometry, and Saito learns why her classmates call her “Zero Louise.” Not only does she have zero success with magic, she has command of zero magic elements. (Though I’m not sure if I want to be called “Square,” “Triangle,” and/or “Line.” All sound really hokey to me. They need better titles like “Arbiter of the Heavens,” “Dread Winter’s Temptest,” or even “Ricky Bobby.”)

Saito is actually a bit too pleased with himself for figuring this out, and I can see Louise getting more and more ticked off. You can hear her teeth gnawing. He then seals his fate by composing a song mocking Louise… I think I need to run a “Who has less common sense?” poll between Maebara, Saito, and the current governor of California. Louise snaps and goes into a very intense emo mode… her fair even flies out as she spits bile and poison at Saito. I’m shaking with giddiness. I don’t remember Shana ever being so emo.

She levies him with a penalty of four missed meals, and later on that day, when the two seem to be getting along better to the point Louise is willing to lift the punishment, Saito does something dumb: he makes fun of her breasts. Uh-oh. I just spent the last four minutes rolling around in the living room floor like some dog getting his tummy rubbed. Must… compose myself… to finish… post… loved Louise’s eyes which remind me of Tamama whenever Angol Mois gets a bit too close to Gunso-san. Then there’s her outburst which puts her first one to shame. More punishment for Saito, good times… for us. Not him. He’s shit-out-of-luck.

Actually, it’s probably a good thing that he gets kicked out of Louise’s room as Seista comes around and sees him… and she takes care of him by giving him food. He’s shit-deep-in-luck. Seista introduces him to all the other commoners who have now annoited him their champion after his dealings with Guiche. Seista even spends some alone time with him under the full moon and confesses that she wants to spend more time with him. Things are looking up, Champ!

Afterwards, he gets kidnapped by Kirche’s pet charmander, and Kirche does her best to seduce him. She is very forward and almost succeeds… only all her other boyfriends keep interrupting. Saito puts up a token fight, and the two start smooching as Louise breaks down the door and drags her familiar’s ass out of there. Afterwards, you can see her noticably trembling as she tosses yet another tirade at Yuji… err… Saito… and fetches her whip. I’m giddy. I always advocate the use of more whips in anime. She’s trembling as she scolds Saito and can barely properly enunciate her words. She must be really, really pissed. She then starts whipping the hell out of Saito. Talk about an abusive relationship.

Saito tries to stop her and reason with her… and asks if she was pissed because he almost horizontally tangoed with Kirche instead of her, which made the Pink Haired Zero Magic Mage even more upset leading to more pain and misery for poor Saito. Gawd damn… the unintentional s&m factor for this episode is off-the-charts. Louise then explains that she cannot allow Saito to hook up with Kirche because their familes, the Zilperstones and the Valiels are feuding, but anyone else (Siesta!) would be fine.

(I thought that Saito would have died if he looked up and said, “Mitei…”)

After taking a few (bottles of) chill pills, Louise starts to rationally conclude that what Saito needs is protection against Kirshe, so, obviously, they need to fetch him a sword. Um, I don’t think that’s the right type of protection. The two leave the next day shopping for swords (with Saito tossing in a backhanded compliment about Louise’s figure in the process) and Kirche goes after them using Tabitha’s dragon familiar (by far the coolest IMHO).

Louise shops for a sword and ends up buying a cheapie (since she spent her money for the medicine for Saito). She buys something from the bargin bin… if Zoro buying his swords during the Rogue Town arc ranks a ten out of ten, this is a lukewarm six out of ten.

(This sequence reminded me of when I went to buy a new driver, and I saw that this really nice Calloway was $499. OTL. I ended up buying an used Taylor Made r460. Basically, I had the same faces as Saito during this process. I’m off-topic again.)

They return to the school, only to discover that Kirche had purchased the expensive sword for Saito. The two square off and ask Saito which sword does he like better. Uh-oh. This is the equivalent of, “Do you think she has a nice ass?” only ten times worse. Saito tries to tell him, “But I can duel-wield!” but they’re not buying it.

But get interrupted. The cheapie sword talks and calls the two girls names… wait! The sword talks… what is this… Shakugan no Shana? Worse yet… that voice… Gan-chan! Louise sums up the episode nicely… “Yep, these are my familiars.”

Zero no Tsukaima Character Power Rankings™

Neck and neck battle between Saito and Louise until the two started shopping for the sword, and Louise said, “I want one that’s bigger and thicker!” It almost tops Keroro’s “Mois-dono, get the candles… long and thick!” in the “Sigmund Freud would be proud” department.

Moments that remind me of Shana… around the 5:10 mark, “Dame! Zetai dame! Kore zetai!”… a few moments later the pre-emptive “muri”… actually, at first I thought that Louise would be a tamer version of Shana even writing “Louis is almost a toned down Shana” uh earlier this month. Shana never had a whip. Shana never employed such physical brutality. Shana never was this scary. Shana always had that deer in the headlight look or melonpan addiction (I’m referring to the actual bread in this case… I wonder how many other bloggers need to clarify a point like this) that made her seem like a 50/50 tsundere (50 antagonistic/50 kawaii). Louise is approaching the 75/25 mark (75 antagonistic/25 kawaii). Honestly, I’m more giddy over Louise’s emo moments than I am about her kawaii moments. But, please, JC Staff, prove me wrong!

Saito must have worn his Bad Idea Jeans today. Or he just wants to die… let’s see… checking out Montmorency’s thigh meat? Bad idea. Singing that song that taunts Louise? Very, very bad idea. “Mune ga ZERO”? Hideously bad idea. Implying that Shana… err… Louise is pissed because he didn’t comfort her instead of Kirche when Louise has a whip? A bad idea for dessert.

I enjoyed his “it’s so frickin’ frilly, it’s hard to wash” comment. The Kyon is strong in this one.

Would Kirche be a top five ranking for “anime characters most likely inflicted with some type of VD?” More importantly, who would be first? The King? Meer? Kazuharu Fukuyama? Ataru? The Magipoka girls?

Didn’t do too much this episode, but I like her smile. She’s fantastic, and I’m sure next episode she’ll be in the top spot. I’m also wondering that these new novel-to-anime projects all feature meido… Haruhi gave us Mikuru, Shana gave us Wilhelmina , and now Siesta. See, these novel-ka know what we want. Smart people. (Then again, Full Metal Panic and Seikai no Senki would be greatly improved with meido as well… do the Abh have meido? We need to know these things.)

For comedic purposes, I must root for Louise, but if Saito were smart, he’d hook up with Siesta ASAP.

The parallels with Yuki are beyond disturbing. Both are quiet bookworms. Both have better command of their powers than those who surround them. Both are secretly knowledgable and seem to be enjoying the ride. Quick! Someone get her an optical mice!

Good to see that the whole gang’s back!

(Is Alastor still on vacation?)

This is the second time that I’ve linked to this BBC article. Too bad this merchant never read it.

Zero no Tsukaima isn’t going to win any great achivement awards, but it’s a fun series. There’s not a lot of new territory to explore with Zero, but what it aimed to do — fantasy comedy harem — it’s doing well. Emo Pink Haired Zero Magic Mage 4tw.

(If you don’t think that I’m excited for the next episode, you’re kidding yourself.)