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Jan 12 2010

Categories: episodic review
Tagged: hanamaru kindergarten

20 Comments »

It lives! It lives!

(Kill it! Kill it with fire!)

Alright, Hanamaru Kindergarten is not exactly Potemayo… in the sense that Ladies vs. Butlers isn’t exactly Kanokon. But close enough. A reasonable enough of a facsimile. It’s full of lightweight slice-of-life… with tons of sugary moments draped in thick maple syrup. Just we’ll see if Anzu is as awesome as Potemayo. At the very least, Anzu can speak coherent Japanese, so that’s a start.

(Weird production… animation by Gansis and Gainax… and directed by Seiji Mizushima… who previously directed Gundam 00.)

I dunno. Should Potemayo sue Anzu or vice-versa? Even the dual-colored hair is similar.

(I’m more surprised that a kindergartner would have such an advanced vocabulary. Has Anzu starred in any freaky baby E-Trade ads before?)

Anzu, Koume, and Hiiragi are about ten years away from forming:

A. A girl band, with Anzu on guitar/vocals, Koume on drums, and Hiiragi on bass.
B. Celestial Being, with Anzu piloting Exia, Koume captaining the Potemayo, and Hiiragi telling Anzu that she can launch. (Yes, the bridge crew of the Potemayo are mostly all present in this anime. Weird.)
C. A kendo club, with Anzu being the yellow ranger, Hiiragi being the DS-ass-crushing blue ranger, and Koume being the awesome sauce red ranger.
D. The core heroines of the next Key game, with sadness and love aplenty for all three.

Funniest moment– so far– of the season when Anzu accuses poor Tsuchida of hitting on her… and all of it coming to a boil during the opening ceremony. Good thing or bad thing that this show is the funniest of the new season?

Dude has a Wii and a PS3… the 360 gets snubbed again. Though I feel sorry for Tsuchida. There’s a sequence in this episode where everyone else goes home to a loving family, nice house, and a home-cooked dinner… and poor Tsuchida has instant noodles and Uncharted 2 waiting for him. Life’s not fair.

IZ DIS SUM POTEMAYO?

(As I said already, once you watched 500 anime series, it’s hard to find something new. Even amongst moe blobs.)

Yes, Potemayo liked to climb heads… but Anzu’s voice coupled with Sakai Yuji voicing Tsuchida… it’s like Shakugan no Shana-tan! I cannot wait for Anzu to start eating melon-flavored bread and throwing “URASAI!” tantrums. That would be awesome.

The male/female ratio is the complete and utter opposite of my profession. *sob* I kinda wish Kyou were a teacher at this school as well. That’ll be awesome. Right now, my Kindergarten Dream Team would be Kyou, Tsuchida, Komoe, and Becky-sensei. In fact, let that be my answer for everything: the next pilots of Raphael Gundam, Gundam Zabanya, Gundam Harute, and 00 Quan “T”? Kyou, Tsuchida, Komoe, and Becky.

(I’m still shaking my head at the Kyou route. The whole Ryou/Kyou storyline should have been Ryou’s route, with Ryou winning Tomoya at the end. Kyou’s story should have taken place during After Story where Nagisa’s dead and Tomoya starts taking Ushio to kindergarten. Kyou should have been throwing herself at poor Tomoya at that point. And the Fuko-chan arc should never have happened.)

I’m telling you. Sugary. Sweet. If you don’t want cavities, stay away.

Can we do some math on the ages? Let’s say Sakura was a third year and Tsuchida was a first year… so 17 and 15. Let’s say she had Anzu when she was 18… so now Tsuchida graduated at 18… do any of the ages add up? And how’d Sakura score a seemingly important job if she’s a high school dropout? (Unless she’s updating her pr0n page or something.) And it’s not fishy that the art teacher knocked her up? Wouldn’t this be a huge scandal?

(It makes sense if Tsuchida went to college, but this is unclear. He would have been 22, Sakura 25, and Anzu 5. This might make sense because Tsuchida was playing a Gameboy SP on the rooftop. In any case, this is a lesson to not write 6,000 words for a blog in a 24 hour period. Just bad idea jeans.)

(Also, Anzu’s dad looks like Miguel from Tekken.)

I feel like they can get more accomplished than the entire US Senate. Sad.

(Berets 4tw!)

Anzu was dry humping Tsuchida’s neck. I feel like you should know these things. Though I think it’s funny how Sakura was trying to marry off Anzu to Tsuchida. I’m telling you: lightweight slice-of-life. If you’re expecting spiteful dialogue, crude humor, and degenerative social behavior, this isn’t the show.

Do you think Yamamoto-sensei and Tsuchida would ever get as close, as, oh, let’s say Onizuka and Ayame? And just based on this scene, I’m convinced that Yamamoto-sensei farts flower pedals. There’s no other explanation.

ZOMG! THE CARBS! THE SUGARY CARBS!!!