the vampire roto league
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first Anime on My Mind Roto League! Inspired by the crappy performance of my NBA fantasy team, I figured this post will be a nice break from all the fanservice, melon bread, and Top Ten lists that I’m so fond of. The rules for AoMM’s league are simple, and should be familiar for people who have done roto fantasy before: competitors are ranked for certain criteria, with the highest ranked for that criteria receiving the most points. Each criteria not only pertains to the competitors common thread, but the criteria are judged independantly of the others, and the winner is the competitor with the highest point total at the end. For example, if the league is “Gundam Pilots,” the categories will most likely include “emo-ness” and “yaoi-ability.” This time, the competition is between vampires, and let’s start by introducing the contenders!
In the top seed, we have Alucard from Hellsing. He’s got bark; he’s got bite… but he’s enslaved to a mere mortal.
In the second seed, it’s… OH MY GAWD! What is this! She’s wearing the nekomimi! It’s Hazuki from Tsukuyomi! I like using exclaimation marks! Her chances are good, despite the fact she has one very disobedient servant.
Next up is Arcueid Brunestud from Tsukihime. Most. Awesome. Vampire. Name. Ever. I wonder what Blondie would say when she finds out that Dagwood has been cheating on her.
Then we follow the trail of dead bodies to Saya from Blood. Her chance to win this roto league will probably fall apart as quickly as the plot of Blood+ (yes, I’m not liking Blood+ all that much).
Last, but not least, it’s the newest entry, Karin from Karin. She’s not strong, a bit clumsy, and is quite embarrassing, but she brings those e-cups as well as the great catchphrase. Definite dark horse.
Powers
Alucard: Numerous vampire powers including shapeshifting and spellcasting, not to mention badassedness. Even though he “lost” to those Hellsings and is Integra’s lapdog, he’s still the meanest and strongest of this bunch. Not even Gonzo could mess up his awesomeness. 5 points.
Hazuki: Daywalker; uber spellcaster (with Kouhei’s blood); nekomimi mode. Need I say more? 4 points.
Arcueid: Daywalker; Marble Phantasm special attack; pre-Shiki version is fairly strong but post-Shiki version isn’t. 2 points.
Saya: Daywalker (sensing pattern); cold-blooded, vicious killer… like Revolution Kenshin. 3 points.
Karin: Daywalker (yawn); blood-maker; taking away sadness. Not menacing at all. 1 point.
People They Have Bitten
Alucard: Seras, who has been an excellent servant to Alucard. 4 points.
Hazuki: Kouhei… dumb, insensitive, rebellious… not exactly ideal, but works very well with Hazuki. 3 points.
Arcueid: Shiki’s probably the strongest of the bunch, 5 points.
Saya: If I didn’t know any better, I’d say Blood+ is being produced by Gonzo secretly instead of Aniplex. 1 point.
Karin: Various. Though, I think she should start up a health spa/clinic where she charges people to bite into. She gets to release some of her stress and get money for it– everyone wins! 2 points.
Family and Ancestry
Alucard: I have no clue besides that he was inspired by the original Dracula. 2 points.
Hazuki: Father is way too overly protective; mother is dead but kinda carries on as a floating cat-like familiar; jailbait little sister. 4 points.
Arcueid: Not much known, only that she’s called a princess. Pfft. What kind of princess goes around without the nekomimi tiara? 3 points.
Saya: Most of them seem to be dead. 1 point.
Karin: Anju and her doll from Gokujo Seitokai, playboy brother, and the completely, 100% whipped father. Awesome family– ranks up there with the Simpsons and Griffens. 5 points.
Evilness
Alucard: Oh so very evil. If he wants to be. 5 points.
Hazuki: Very manipulative and childish, and then there’s Luna… mmm… 3 points..
Arcueid: Not very evil. More of a do-gooder. 2 points.
Saya: “M-M-M-MONSTER KILL!” Okay, at least the movie version. 4 points.
Karin: It’s so embarrassing…1 point.
Kawaii
Alucard: Something for the fangirls. 2 points.
Hazuki: 5 points. If you don’t know why, read this post.
Arcueid: Chibi-Arc can’t overcome the nekomimi or the e-cup. 3 points.
Saya: There is only one kawaii katana-wielding maniac, and she eats melon bread. 1 point.
Karin: It’s so embarrassing… 4 points.
Results
Alucard: 18
WINNER, Hazuki: 19
Arcueid: 15
Saya: 10
Karin: 13
Not surprising Hazuki wins, especially considering I’m very biased towards nekomimi. I’m actually kinda surprised how few male vampires there are in anime lore… I guess to the Japanese, vampires are more romantic than horror and hence the amount of adorableness in characters like Hazuki, Karin, and, to a lesser extent, Ms. Bumstead. Or maybe it’s just because female leads are more common to begin with in anime. It also says something when none of these series can reallly be classified as horror with only the original Blood movie coming closest to that genre. Blood+ is really turning out to be shounen action, and Hellsing was always more of a hero (err… antihero) drama. Karin is a school romance of all things. Though, to be fair, I left off D and Miyu (since I barely remember either), and D definitely is horror.
5 Responses to “the vampire roto league”
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Pft. If only Vamp Walter had been on the list. Butler + Undead + Youth = HAR#!$#HAHA@$#@$RRR!!
Woulda won, HANDS DOWN.
ha ha ha, I had to click on this when i saw “roto league”. Though a ranking of 35,000 or so on the league manager is nothing to boast about, I’m glad to find another -as rick kamla puts it- “fantasy freak”. season’s still young, so just stay away from that bastard ricky davis and you’ll be set… i cant wait to read your other roto competitions.
Actually, Arcueid has a younger half-sister. Her name is Altrouge Brunestud and she is the princess of the 27 Dead Apostle Ancestors. She is a half-breed of Dead Apostle and True Ancestor. She has mystic eyes that allow her to bend anyone to her will (not that different from Hazuki’s hypnotic eyes. Maybe they should have a staring contest). She has the appearance of a fourteen year old girl but is rumored to have a stronger, second form. She’s also the one who gave Arcueid a haircut. If you saw her, you would have trouble believing that she had a heart of pure evil.
Here is the link to her picture:
http://www.d9.dion.ne.jp/~hky1.....nestud.jpg
Arcueid is number 3 on the dead apostle list! she can definitely be evil, and she can kill anyone with the power of nature. To me she wins hands down.
To Satsujinki: That’s Crimson Moon Brunestud you dumbass! He was killed by Wizard Marshal Zelretch after he tried to crash the moon into Earth. He’s the progenitor of the True Ancestors. Arcueid is just said to be his reincarnation. She doesn’t have a place among the 27 Dead Apostle Ancestors.