the girl was alone in the world, twittered

Categories: anime, ef


Every so often, I think it’s worth pulling back the curtain a bit on Derailed. I want to show the difference between a post that required effort and a mailed-in “shakugan no shana second #” post. Not that I’m proud of mailing in posts or anything.

(Most of what I originally wrote twitter style has been expanded by me afterwards. I used whatever I twittered as a framework for this post. It’s not easy writing two posts… or more… at once. The underlined text in quotes are actually taken from the various rough drafts. They did not make it into the published post, but I thought they would be interesting and flesh out my thought process a bit so I’m sharing them here.)


10:30pm: I plop down, exhausted, in front of my TV, needing some serious brain cell killing material. I’m deciding between watching ef, Princess Nine, Family Guy, or NBA Fastbreak. Mmm… I decide on NBA Fastbreak since they just started showing tastefully-named Jason Maxiell highlights. If I looked up “beastly” in a dictionary, I expect to see Maxiell’s mug next to it. I love NBA Fastbreak– they actually show fundamentals like how Maxiell’s picks are some of the most effective on the NBA. You do not get this on Fox Sports.

10:35pm: Moving on to other NBA scores, I kinda start zoning out and start reading TT’s RSS feed as well as Derailed’s admin RSS feed. Until I see “Cabrera and Willis traded to Tigers” on the ticker. Wha?!? I’m as startled as Yoko receiving a volleyball serve from Nia.

10:37pm: Trade happened earlier in the day. I’m reading three Tigers blogs at once about the trade. One writes about possible line ups that Leyland can deploy, along with pros and cons. Another goes through the trade in detail, highlighting the pros and cons of Cabrera and Willis. I gotta love any blog that drops “DLC” as easily as I drop “DFC.” A meme for everyone. The third blog tries to guess the effective runs this new Tigers line up can churn out. They’re giddy; I’m giddy. I’d love to see the pennant return to Motown. Now this is how you blog. I’m so giddy I overlook two negatives: the realization that the farm system is now barren, and how the anime blogosphere is still a solid two years behind the sports blogosphere in terms of execution.


10:38pm: Trying to calm myself down, I decide I need to watch something other than baseball (or else I’m going to be overstimulated).

10:41pm: I wish you were here, and so by my side. Need to be strong enough to shallow my pride.

10:51pm: Miya-Miya has pulled off her own KG or Cabrera trade. That thought runs through my head. Well… Miya-Miya’s ribbon sure looks nice.

10:59pm: I trying to figure out how many bras are there exactly on the floor? 3? I’m also hoping that Kei will walk in and start attacking Miya-Miya and Hirano with a knife before Kyousoke stops her. You think I’m giddy? I’m probably more giddy than when Haruhi sings “Mi~ku~ru~chan!” but less giddy than “Who the fuck do you think I am?”

11:01pm: I scribble down “revenge sex.” I’m hoping for “USO DA!,” “NICE BOAT!” or “SUGOI!” to happen within the next two minutes.

11:03pm: Damn. None of the above. I’m pumped. I want to write about ef. I’m sick of writing about Shana. I mailed in blogging the last few Shana posts as badly as JC Staff mailed in making them. Vince Carter would be proud.

11:15pm: I can’t stop writing. The original “revenge sex” has grown into a full-blown pre-post about taking chances. “Fortune favors the bold. The Celtics are the toast of the NBA right now, thanks to reeling in both KG and Jesus Shuttlesworth. The Tigers are making the same gamble. Frankly, it’s time. Timidly doesn’t excite; doesn’t titillate; doesn’t make for good drama. Miya-Miya threw it down against Kei, and Miya-Miya ripped the trophy out from Kei’s hands. Kei’s indecision and inexplicable backing off cost her. She stupidly let go of the pedal, and, well, that’s one to three of Miya-Miya’s bras on the floor now.”

11:20pm: It’s disjointed. I know it’s good enough for most people, but I’m not happy with what I’ve written.

11:23pm: I put my MacBook on my desk and log into Derailed. I see there’s no comments for moderation, and then I glance at the number of half-posts in my queue. I can’t count the number of orphaned ef posts. It’s tragic. Like seeing the graves of Nia’s sisters. I have one orphaned post for Bamboo Blade. There’s an unfinished momentum post as well. I don’t know if I’ll ever finish any of them.

11:27pm: I’m reading through some of my old aborted ef posts: “But the thing is with the basic setup of three intertwined and dramatic storylines, ef had all the tools to be one of the greats. Chihiro and her 13 hours? Kei and her jealousy? Miya-Miya and her breakdown? Even the guys bring a lot… the playboy, the manga artist, and Renji-kun. And that doesn’t even include ‘I probably banged your mother’ Kuze. I feel like ef is turning into Derrick Coleman, who should have been one of the greatest power forwards of all time, but, instead, thanks to the buffet table (i.e. Shaft), he became one of the fattest and most disappointing power forwards of all time. Why couldn’t Shaft just use the animation style from the teaser preview? It was an “A+” waiting to happen. Oddly enough, I think Gainax would have been great for this story. I feel that while they have redeemed themselves for Shinji Ikari, I still need payback for Kare Kano 19-26.”

11:32pm: I see a cryptic note that I typed out a month or so ago: “Euphoric Field OP borrows from a dream sequence from Hidamari Sketch.” Ugh. Great. That was like pre-Gurren Lagann wasn’t it? Do I even have an episode number for myself?

11:33pm: I remind myself, “Write more useful notes in the future.”


11:40pm: I’m listening to Nelly Furtado as I read more of my old musings, “Now here’s some drama. Anything think that we would get through ef without either (a) Shaft being Shaft or (b) Chihiro having a meltdown? Nope. I think both points are as predictable as a New York Knicks collapse. Shaft being Shaft just ruins show… for a few things, like Chihiro’s storyline, it’s not bad to go abstract once in a while, but ef really excels (during the episode 4-6 timeframe) when it was mostly straight up anime with a little post-modernism. The last two episodes have been a chore to wade through because of the dense Shaftness. I think Shaft has ruined more shows than Sunrise than this point.”


11:41pm: I’ll be the first to admit it, I’m curious about you, you seem so innocent / You wanna get in my world, get lost in it / Boy I’m tired of running, lets walk for a minute

11:42pm: My favorite part of the song is when Nelly raps about Steve Nash. Inexplicable, much like Murphy Lee rapping about Voltron in Bad Boys 2. Who’s Murphy Lee? Exactly.

11:44pm: I don’t really agree with what I wrote about Shaft. And I wrote that last week. No wonder I have such a hard time writing about ef.

11:45pm: I should hang it up tonight. It’s not my night. I feel like Gilbert Arenas going 1 for 8 in the first half.

11:50pm: Mmm… maybe I can use this paragraph… or this one… clean it up a little… do I really want to post something tonight?

12:00am: I changed my iTunes from shuffle to recently added. Megumeru is now in the background. Mmm… center a post around comparing ef to Clannad, and how ef is really pushing forward dramatics while Clannad has been giving away wooden starfish the past three episodes? Doesn’t seem to jell right. Has nothing to do with what I wrote earlier. Still trying to figure out a possible revenge sex scenario for Tomoya and Nagisa that involves Kyou and Ryou.

12:01am: I just derailed myself.

12:12am: Some random Lucky Star character song is now playing. I’m fully expecting Patty-chan to show up in Genshiken soon. Meanwhile, my post has changed into a post about the split hero syndrome, and how you gotta take chances. Fortune favors the bold. Kimikiss just looks weak and timid. That series also split the male protagonist into three parts, but the three parts are all the same. They’re not fundamentally different. It’s one thing to split a hero into a Mako-cakes, a Fujioka, and a Hosaka, but it’s another when I can’t even remember any of the names. ef split into three very distinct heroes; none of which are the same in episode 9 as they were in episode 1.”

12:15am: So my post right now jumps from A to Z to B to the anti-spiral dimension and back. It’s a mess. I have NBA references. I have MLB references. I have a rant about my 401k. I managed to drag in a bunch of random series, from Hidamari Sketch to Kenichi.

12:16am: Fuck it.

12:17am: New post. Fortune favors the bold. Utada Hikaru’s Fly Me to the Moon is playing.

12:25am: I’m writing at a very brisk pace. I’m strangely focused. Must be the MacBook.

12:32am: Agonizing over “and, Miya-Miya was re-enacting Yukino’s post-coital face from Kare Kano 18.” Should I use “post-coital” or “bed face” or “afterglow?” Technically, Arima never sees Yukino’s post-coital face. I wonder how many of my readers would catch that. Fuck that too. Most of my readers probably were in kindergarten when that series first aired. I’m liking that Gainax trellis simile. I know I’m in the zone when I can pull episode numbers from memory like that; the rest should go quick.

12:39am: “The Shaftiness? I’m not a fan of Shaft’s style.” I like verbing nouns and nouning verbs. Grammatically incestuous.

12:41am: “I just don’t think it’s a big deal, and there were even some points, like when Miya-Miya and Kei were having their throwdown, that it helped. It was sure more interesting to look at than most of Lamune, that’s for sure.” I’m trying to convey that two people talking with each other without something interesting isn’t very interesting. A lot of harem series have this failing. I give up trying to word it any better. Anyone who has seen Lamune should know what I’m trying for. And, if you haven’t, you probably should go watch it. But bring a good book when you do.


12:45am: I could be sleeping, but I’m not. I’m trying to think of a title for this post. I remind myself why I write this silly little blog. That’s it. That’s my theme. I’m going to run with it. “ef ~a tale of memories~ is like my writing kryptonite.” Perfect. Doesn’t help with a title though.

12:46am: I got it! “Ef U!” Ugh. Maybe not.

12:50am: I turn off iTunes, and I switch over to my XP box. I skim over my image library and start working on graphics for the post. Photoshop 7. I love Photoshop 7. Too bad Leopard is not compatible with it.

12:55am: Reading the post for a quick proofread before I publish. Images uploading.

12:57am: Never finished the proofread. Tired. Screw it. I have as much confidence in my English grammar right now as Kamina has in his manhood.

12:58am: Set the tags, categories, and timer for the post. Hit publish.

12:59am: Damn. Finally done. I’m not even going to go near this blog for two or three days.

1:00am: I close all programs, log out, and power down.

11 Responses to “the girl was alone in the world, twittered”

  1. And I used to think that bloggers always posted on a limb.

    That’s one hell of a thorough thought process, so thorough my dreams of ever attempting anime blogging were shattered to little GN particles. I have to admit, though, I still probably won’t be watching ef.

    And I don’t understand anything about baseball, but I’ll assume its funny and laugh along.

  2. I feel like i could talk a lot about every episode that I see of ef, but then I read your rants on them and I realize thats the amount you’re able to write compared to how much I thought I could write is a huge difference. If you had never mentioned that you had a hard time writing about ef I would never have guessed. I love your ef posts just as much as I love the show, looking forward to the next one.

  3. Poor you, having to think so much to write… You sound like me trying to decide what to eat for breakfast……

    At least you do have a thorough process, and don’t spit random shit from your ass as I have seen a few other blogs do…….
    And nice job with the touch up of Miya-Miya’s bed shot…. Why are the subs different than what I have? Joke?

  4. I would like to mention that, after months and months now, I have come round to liking you. I’ve gone back and forth between being entertained and annoyed, finally settling on the former.

    Saying this in a comment to this post seems fitting enough, as I will also thank you for putting so much effort into writing this thing. Thanks!

    PS: My long-lasting scepticism towards this weblog is probably primarily due to my not exactly fitting into your demographic at 25/f.

  5. If I could give eProps, I would.

    And as my regulars to my Xanga site would attest, that’s saying something.

  6. Ef looks like a great series which is why I decided not to watch it.

    I was late to the game on picking up this on this title and now that it looks real good I’m gonna wait till I can cache enough episodes to watch it in a marathon mode.

  7. You, sir, are a mad genius. And hopefully Clannad can be improved now that they aren’t giving away wooden starfish anymore. Hopefully? Maybe? Please?

  8. Pyrobob: Might be a different translation. I think both Nuke and Conclave-Mendoi subbed the preview.

    Side note: glad that was a short post. There really has to be a way to keep my post when I forget the spam code rather than the page auto refreshing and destroying my text when I try and page back to correct it.

  9. interesting………

  10. >>You, sir, are a mad genius. And hopefully Clannad can be improved now that they aren’t giving away wooden starfish anymore. Hopefully? Maybe? Please?

    For great justice, it must BE IMPROVED! Nay, it WILL BE!

  11. Yep, this is our Jason Only those Derailed by Darry can derail themselves. I’ll leave you kids to decipher that one yourself.

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