top ten ways john mccain can save his campaign
Categories: anime, fanservice, top ten
Tagged: clannad:tomoyo, moe:bedroomeyes
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Seeing how the audience for this blog is mostly young, educated, and very, very broken, McCain just has no chance with the core Derailed reader. He might do better in Harlem than here. How can he improve his standings? I have a few ideas.
Top Ten Ways John McCain Can Save His Campaign
10. Instead of referring to “Joe the Plumber,” what about “Maria the Meido”? Also helps with the Hispanic vote, something McCain needs help with also.
9. His plan for winning the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan? A secret international battle group consisting of young flat-chested girls who fly through the air with propellers as legs while wearing animal ears and tails. They’ll all be named after dead WWII aces.
8. Most of the new twittering, blogging, liberal elite (and regular) media know nothing personal about Vietnam. Hell, most of us weren’t even born. So he has to relate his old POW stories to something we can relate to– like Allelujah being locked up like Hannibal Lector. Bonus points if he refers to “Marie” during a speech.
7. Write a “thin slicing Obama’s tax hikes” blog post and then unmercifully rip into Obama while presenting no facts and not having a clear understanding of any situation. It helps to compare key talking points with obscure NBA references, obscure 90210 references, and obscure Internet meme references. Pew pew pew!
6. Fight big media and lobbyists and push through pro-consumer copyright and fair use reform.
5. Play more h-games and learn how to score the female vote. It worked for Keima! Actually… scratch that and replace it with…
5. … translate all the recent chapters of The World God Only Knows. Easiest way to bribe this audience.
4. Start off next speech with “WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I AM? RAWR RAWR FIGHT THE POWAH!” Just hope that in his advanced age, he doesn’t try to gattai with a ham sandwich.
3. Instead of attacks ads on Obama, focus on topics and interests that we care about: Tomoyo Sakagumi with bedroom eyes.
2. Nekomimi meido costume for Palin.
1. Nekomimi meido costume for himself.
53 Responses to “top ten ways john mccain can save his campaign”
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Ugeh… wha-what? Top ten what?…
Ah yes, Marie Verick the Meido…
I fear that if he did make use of #1 and or #2, Obama would merely counter with the same…nvm, that’s not necessarily a bad thing…
I still love the fact that Obama has the Japanese vote.
#3 should definatley be put in action. There is no better way to steal vote them with sex appeal. Especially when its about Tomoyo.
Better yet he should go around to major sport groups and win them games so they vote for him.
>>#1
I just threw up my innards. I hope you’re happy!
And no, not even scrolling back up to Tomoyo with bedroom eyes helped one bit!
“I still love the fact that Obama has the Japanese vote.”
More like the international, young, and educated vote. As opposed to the Bible belt, old, and rich vote.
As far the countdown is concerned, here are my immediate, knee-jerk reactions…
10: How about Kogarashi the Meido? It’d help the Gar-meido-fan vote.
9: Would that be a better or worse idea than enlisting a former religious extremist to perform military interventions on the advice of a computer based on the moon?
8: While Obama was playing up the jock vote by bowling, shooting hoops, and cameoing on Monday Night Football, McCain should’ve been doing online Call of Duty death matches and telling everyone there how he was actually at D-Day and how he killed Hitler with his bare hands.
7: McPalin as key Sunrise scriptwriters? YES WE CAN!
6: Surprisingly the most logical and pragmatic proposal on the list. Which sadly makes it the least likely of the bunch to actually happen.
5: Where are my McCain/Palin doujins?
4: Mmm. Meat sandwich.
3: Mmm. Meat sandwich.
2: Do not want.
1: I actually think McCain’s best strategy is to combine #1, 2 and 4, where he and Palin gattai and Giga Drill Breaker the past so that GSD, Mai Otome, and episodes 10, 12, and 22 of R2 were never made, thus averting the socio-political disaster we are in now, and yes, Sunrise anime are so bad they cause actual real-world economic and energy crises. (Like how Gonzo retroactively caused the Great Depression).
Oh, God! The Tomoyo! Even though I hate melonpan, I’m still susceptible to those eyes!
#1: Have DBD readers pay taxes.
Afterschool programs, SCHIP, and other fluffly feel good crap is great until you realize you have to pay for someone else to use it.
Of course Obama has the Japanese vote – his name is much easier to write in katakana.
First presidential candidate to use #3 guarantees me to get American citizenship just so I can vote for them.
Those bedroom eyes look a little overdone…I’ll take #5 instead (5 weeks with no new release is inexcusable >_> )
Actually, #6 is just a good idea period.
<3 McCain-ko
Mccain what-? Sorry, Tomoyo with bedroom eyes just derailed my day. (Or what’s left of it). My god, I WANT TO VOTE FOR TOMOYO!!!! YES WE CAN!!!!
This is about 20 different levels of wrong.
And by the way, for folks like Kadian1364 who simply assume that anyone voting for McCain is uneducated, religious, and from the south, I counter with the fact that I am currently in college, not religious at all, and living in the state of Washington.
Don’t assume okay? We all have our reasons for voting who we are voting for.
Everytime I return to this post, I see those eyes… It’s like they’re saying “Take me, take me and ravage me like an animal” GAH!!!! DAMN YOU JASON!!!! YOU’RE STEPPING ON WHAT REMAINS OF MY BROKEN SELF!!!!!!
Why are Tomoyo’s boobs so pointy?
I think comparing his POW to Nia’s capture would also be a good comparison.
He could also get some people by taking back what he said about Lolicon being illegal in the US,and Lolicon applies to any character under 18 years old. He is the one who made the law that says it falls under Child Pornography.
Oh, and a war plan? 2 words.
Rollerskating Robots.
The only reason Obama’s been winning is because he’s been doing #7 the whole time… (cept not on a blog).
Oh, and I’d enjoy #5 and #4…
….@Kadian: do you know what the heck you’re talking about? The only reason people say Obama has the Japanese vote is because there just so happens to be a town that already had the same name as him. And if you think taxing citizens more is an educated decision then you need to try taking a business course…..or a modern history lecture.
“I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.”
-Winston Churchill
And lastly, I think #9 would probably detriment him infinitely more than it would help…
#11: Propose a Triangular / Lion / What About My Star duet with Obama in the spirit of bipartisanship.
Kamen no Maid Guy would also be acceptable for #5
>>Why are Tomoyo’s boobs so pointy?
It looks like that dango she’s holding is chomping down on them.
I’m not from the states, so i couldn’t care less, but Tomoyo’s bedroom eyes is most welcomed worldwide.
but of course, i’m rooting for Obama anyways
“Instead of attacks ads on Obama, focus on topics and interests that we care about: Tomoyo Sakagumi with bedroom eyes.”
HELL YES!!!!
2. Nekomimi meido costume for Palin.
HELL YES!!!!!!!!!!
1. Nekomimi meido costume for himself.
HELL NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
#1… no one is that broken. Not even Haess.
Im not John Mccain and I approve of this message.
i’m sorry as soon as i got to the picture of tomoyo i sorta of forgot what this post was about.
I was with ‘ya right up until #1.
My mind’s eyes. They BURN. Of a painful variety of FIERY BURNING PAIN.
I think #1 is proof that Jason’s gone off the deep end and there’s no hope for the former nekomimi-meido loving blogger he used to be, who enjoyed melonpan with the best of them.
Nobody but Jason’s broken enough to want #1 to happen. NOBODY.
Also, am I allowed to say “I told you so” to everyone who thought Kyonko was a good idea now? Look at what the genderswaps have wrought! ;)
Oh yes…. *fap* *fap* *fap*
Ah, anime and politics. I was at Anime Weekend Atlanta a month ago and some people were standing outside the dealer’s room encouraging people to register to vote. Their slogan was “Anime the Vote” (they need to work on that). I got a sticker with “Totoro ’08” on it. At the time, I thought, “Tokyo is broken!” I believe that is still the case. Then again, Rozen Aso got elected…
Yes, this is our blogger. And yes, we are his readers.
And that’s different from his (and Palin’s) current tactics how, exactly?
Epic Fail. No way is anyone going to -ko John McCain. Just shoot me now. >_<
…too late. *cries uncontrollably*
Oppai missiles. With Sunohara on the prowl for a GF, an extra layer of protection is a good idea.
Now let’s all stop linking Tomoyo to John McCain. Everyone knows that Tomoyo is a hardcore Bob Barr supporter.
Last I looked, Rozen Aso wasn’t elected so much as he was appointed by the outgoing guy to take over the party, IIRC. He MIGHT be calling an election soon, though.
[blockquote]Last I looked, Rozen Aso wasn’t elected so much as he was appointed by the outgoing guy to take over the party, IIRC. He MIGHT be calling an election soon, though.[/blockquote]
Thanks for the clarification- I thought something felt off.
Hey, how about a platform based on Trap rights? Joe the Trap, anyone?
“Hey, how about a platform based on Trap rights? Joe the Trap, anyone?”
Jason you take responsability for this!!!!
Wait, what top 10 list? All I see is Tomoyo.
I LOL’D at #10.
We have like 1,000 “Maria the Meidos” here in southwest Arizona.
Photographic evidence needed. ^_^
O_O Maido outfit!?
@We have like 1,000 “Maria the Meidos†here in southwest Arizona.
it depends of which maria you are speaking of….. there is Maria the maid and Maria the meido…. having 1000 of the second one in the same country wouldn’t be very fair in the case of WW III
“I still love the fact that Obama has the Japanese vote.â€
>>responses to the above:
Actually, I say that because the town that shares the same name has become one of his most fanatical, extravagant supporters created things like “The Obama Girls” an entire dance troupe of girls who dance to show support for the presidential candidate, as well as Obama food, and anything else you can think of to show their support of him.
References:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJHaV2JqfKM
DAMMIT where’s the NSFW tag?! It’s a good thing I’m sitting in the back row of class, or that last pic may have drawn some attention…
What am I saying, this whole blog is NSFW…
Remember guys, wearing a Nekomimi meido outfit doesn’t automatically turn McCain into McCain-ko. There’s a fine line between cross dressing and gender bending despite how much Mako-cakes tries to blur it.
So to Haess: yes, Kyonko is still an awesome idea and is by no means responsible for this.
>>“2. Nekomimi meido costume for Palin.”
Nekomimi meido VPILF is the new popular moe mode!
>>“1. Nekomimi meido costume for himself.”
As long as he includes a mask, that might just work…
5. … translate all the recent chapters of The World God Only Knows. Easiest way to bribe this audience.
QUOTED FOR TRUTH.
No, no, Maid Guy outfit.
>>No, no, Maid Guy outfit.
OH GOOD GOD, SIR.
Nekomimi meido VPILF
and Veteran Maid Guy
Perfect.
Mc Cain would get my vote if he give Tomoya Stuff comforting pillows, But My mother will kill me if I did that.
@Kouryuu:
Just like with the mainstream media, just because a small fraction of people are obsessed with him doesn’t mean he has the vote of the whole by any means. Hell, if your logic is true, then anime would be much more mainstream then it is right now.
…McCain-o Guy? 0_o
“Kukuku. These frozen lumps of snow are no match for the President! MEIDO GUY OIL DURILLU!”