blog好き

Aug 02 2009

Categories: bakemonogatari, episodic review
Tagged: monogatari

50 Comments »

“To put it bluntly, I just enjoy talking with you.”

“Araragi-san, your hand was pretty tasty.”

What’s the greater chance? That Obama’s health care reform will pass or Koyomi will meet a haremette who won’t wish him bodily harm? I’m also convinced that his Wolverine-like indestructibility is a plot mechanic only because it allows for haremettes who will do him harm.

(Wonder which is more indestructible… Koyomi, Wolverine, Keitaro, or Yuki Nagato’s sanity?)

The lack of Kaerimichi makes pedo bear sad. Are we sure Mayoi’s issue is snail-related and not bear-related? Unless… she killed pedo bear, and that’s his paw in her backpack as a trophy.

Can’t believe I overlooked this last episode… but with that smile and her wanting to bite Koyomi… Index-tan! We need to get Mayoi on top of Koyomi’s head while she’s chewing on his arm. “You’re getting flesh everywhere in my hair!” “URACHAI! URACHAI! URACHAI!”

Shaft is the only studio that can reliably make a 24 minute anime longer than 24 minutes: by making you pause and read the text. I just wish

“Araragi-san, I’m one of the better-developed _____ in my class.”

When Mayoi said that… I think we all knew what she meant for _____, but we all substituted something else for _____ irregardless if it makes it seem creepy or not.

“Well, your chest was pretty respectable.”

I really hope Koyomi didn’t turn down the nakkid apron from three, the peepshow from two, and a possible Johnny stapling from one because he’s not into “older” women. I really hope not, but his hands and thoughts are betraying him.

Thinking about it more… “respectable” in what sense? In terms of respectability, Hitagi is the Itsukiko to Mayoi’s Kyonko.

One, he already groped you. Defending yourself now doesn’t solve that problem. Second, there’s not much to defend. It’s not like Russians front in WWII. This is more like the Alamo.

I like how he gives Mayoi money after telling her that he felt her up. It definitely sounds like something I would give a YTAMR to…

Anon: I know this has nothing to do with Endless Eight, but I felt up a girl today, gave her $100 afterward because I felt guilty. But then I thought about it and offered $200 for a lap dance. I think she was twelve.

Yep… these are my readers.

(I’m surprised this hasn’t happened yet.)

Much like how Kyoto should have subcontracted the bath scenes from K-On! to Shaft, Shaft should have subcontracted all the Mayoi creepy angry scenes to Studio Deen.

(She looks like a martian. I like the Super Mario Brother invincibility star on her blouse though.)

You’re gonna get bitten! I just hope Senjougahara is watching all of this unfold.

(Ah shoot… I recognize the BGM… so familiar… gah! What is the name of it.)

“After touching a girl’s delicate chest, you should say something.”

A. “Arigatou.”
B. “Gochisosama.”
C. “BANZAI!”

It’s one thing to have Hitagi discuss breasts and Koyomi’s virginity, but it’s another to have Mayoi jump on the same topic. Though I hope Bakemonogatari won’t be just an endless parade of haremettes who want to bodily harm Koyomi and want to verbally abuse him at the same time by attacking his sexual insecurities. What am I saying? Of course I want that!

(We need to get Tsundere-chan on The World God Only Knows. She needs to be the next haremtte Keima tackles: the goddess of office supplies.)

(And what’s more pathetic? That Mayoi cares about Koyomi being the first person to feel her up? Or that Mayoi might have been the first person Koyomi has felt up?)

“If you’re going to be like this, I’m going to grope you until you don’t care about ‘firsts’ or ‘kisses’?”

How did this anime go from a fifteen minute long Senjougahara dressing sequence to Koyomi sexually assaulting a twelve year old? How?!

(I suspect 50% of my readers are bummed out that Koyomi isn’t trying to sexually assault Senjougahara instead, 20% of my readers excited that he’s going for Mayoi, and 10% for Hanekawa. The rest remain either undecided or rooting for the score… err… assault all the heroines scenario.)

“There stood a high school boy who, forgetting himself, forcefully sexually harassed an elementary school girl with all his might.”

What he didn’t realize was that the park was an actual temporal disturbance and that the elementary school girl would be a high school girl in his time. He would eventually meet this high school girl, who would then force him to join her club, do normal activities in a wacky way, and then repeat such activities 15,527 times. Of course, none of the activities would involve sexual harassment… unless she was doing the harassing.

Couple of other notes concerning the fight… Mayoi is the poor man’s Index-tan… loved Koyomi’s laugh during the whole escapade… hoped that Senjougahara would be watching this… but really hoped that his two sisters were watching instead. “Onii-chan! You ditched us to grope that?”

Bluestreak2: I’m surprised there wasn’t any mention on how it took 940 more yen to bribe the 12 year old girl than it took to make the Prime Minister say “Uncle”

9,940 more yen, you mean. But it’s not really an apt comparison as I’m sure Juiz gets some sort of bulk rate. Juiz is part of a major global industrial shadow conspiracy while Ararararagi-kun is only trying to evade his little sisters. So we really don’t know until we ask Juiz, “Juiz, I need to bribe a loli to be cooperative with me such that she won’t mind the previous sexual harassment.”

(Will this trigger The Supporter? Or will The Man go, “Mmm… lolis saving Japan… this could work!”)

Shaft being Shaft. I wonder if two years from now, we’ll find out that Shaft has been using performance enhancing animation.

(I’m watching Rocky III for the umpteenth time, and the ending scene has to one of the greatest in movie history. Rocky and Creed get in the ring for a no camera, no crowd impromptu exhibition. Creed does the “ding, ding” line, half-joking, but you know the two just want to pummel the crap out of each other. Then Eye of the Tiger starts up as the camera freeze frames Rocky’s and Creed’s opening hooks. Just awesome. I didn’t mind when Rocky IV opened with this scene, and I didn’t mind the Family Guy tribute. Needless to say, it’s the complete opposite of the scene going on in Ghostory right now.)

I wonder if every haremette that Koyomi helps comes from a broken family? Is this going to be like Clannad where every family was broken to some extent? And in what fashion would Yui’s and Ui’s family fall apart? Their parents are never home, and Ui is a mortal lock to reprise Kathy Bates in Misery with Yui as James Caan. Yes, two old movie references in a row… with Taki not around, someone has to drop them, no?

(Did they forget to animate an eye?)

“You smell like another woman.”

Hitagi’s return… does not disappoint. She’s on the warpath immediately. Love that. I’m convinced that she’s verbally abusing Arararararagi-kun because she wants to leave a mental scar or mark, much like how dogs pee on trees they like to mark their territory.

Love her ability to pin point the woman that was previously here. This ability is the final big clue you’ll get before she spills the beans about what makes Mayoi Snail slug along. If you’ve figured out Mayoi Snail at this point, you’re about average. In other words, you would only have repeated Endless Eight 15,499 times.

(One thing I will get into later is how well-written this show it. Nothing is wasted. There is no wasted lines, scenes, or moments, and what seems to be wasted is eventually revealed to be crucial. Nisio Isin gives you everything you need to solve the arcs, and more clues are revealed closer to the end, but they are solvable with the clues presented. This how you make a mystery. Definitely the opposite of taking the cop out reboot method a la 7th Expansion.)

“Think of it like how you can tell women apart by the shape of their hips.”

Not sure what I enjoyed more… Senjougahara’s line or her surprised response afterward. Frankly, it’s a tossup. She’s the best.

(What ruins this? Koyomi, who reverts to the Zetsubou-sensei voice during the exchange. Shaft shouldn’t have cast Zetsubou-sensei as Koyomi… it’s too disorienting, especially when he goes into his despair voice. And it doesn’t help that Zan is airing right now too… which makes this worse than casting Kyon as U1 in Kanon. The real problem is that there’s so few male seiyuu that they get overused. The industry needs to train a few more and better differentiate the voices.)

“‘You’ve got nice, solid childbearing hips. so I think you’re sure to have healthy babies.. Ehehehe.’ Didn’t you just tell me that recently?”

Best. Line. Ever.

(Almost entirely due to Senjougahara’s half-hearted yet evil “Ehehehe” laugh at the end. She’s the best.)

“Mmmm…”

Hitagi’s the spice to this anime. Quite possibly the best haremette to come around since Mio Akiyama. That’s not saying much, but still.

“Different conclusions are reached when one fact is looked at from two separate points of view. When that happens, there’s essential no way to judge which point of view is correct.”

She just described every stupid argument on the interwebs. Especially in the context of anime forums, blogs, and imageboards.

(Though, for me, I would toss in a “… but a lot of time was uselessly wasted.” at the end of her line, but that’s just me.)

“He really says things that see right through you.”

Is Meme like The Oracle from The Matrix? Anyway, this scene makes a lot more sense once you’ve seen the ending… which is what every good mystery series should do.

(I like how this series is tagged as romance, supernatural, and comedy on Wikipedia right now. Maybe there’s some romance between Hitagi’s stapler and Koyomi’s Johnny and maybe there’s some comedy, but Ghostory is really more of a mystery. The arcs are puzzles that are solved through other elements, but they’re puzzles at their heart and core.)

Alice: On the subject of Hitagi’s ponytail: I am curious if you enjoy real life ponytails? Seems to me that most men hate ponytails because they are usually go hand-in-hand with looking frumpy.

Who doesn’t enjoy a nice ponytail? When well done, they can be criminally moe. Yes, I know I’m stealing that line from Kyon, but I don’t care. The key really is to have longer hair, as short hair ponytails just screams laziness.

(At the very least, it’s a variation to leaving the hair down all the time. I also enjoy long hair worn up, as per the sexy librarian look, which, I must say, needs more love in anime in general.)

The real victim isn’t Mayoi… it’s Koyomi. Our first clue to this was when we saw the spiral eyes at the end of episode three. Why is this important? We’ve been misdirected to think that the arc is about Mayoi going home… when it’s really about Koyomi not wanting to go home. Everything obvious pointed to Mayoi, but all the subtleties pointed to Koyomi.

This arc brings together a lot of different stories, and all of them more important than Mayoi. First, it’s the arc that reveals Hitagi’s feelings towards Koyomi. She plays along because she didn’t want to seem more of a freak to him (as if more outrageous behavior would dissuade me from liking her further), and that’s the extent she wants to be liked by him. Second, it reveals Koyomi’s household status, and I’m hoping for an imouto arc soon. Lastly, it’s the introduction to Hanekawa’s arc. All of those are ultimately more important than Mayoi going home, yet all of them were buried under the guise of Mayoi going home. It’s almost like Obama coming up with some crazy health care plan to cover up how badly the economy is doing– classic misdirection.

Great writing, the complete and utter opposite of Needless. (I’m not dissing Needless. It’s a fantastic show, just for reasons other than writing.)

Loved this scene as Hitagi tells Koyomi something that he kinda knew and what some people have guessed at so far: Hitagi can’t see Mayoi. We were told this bluntly in episode three as I even cracked jokes about how Senjougahara didn’t notice Koyomi beating up poor Mayoi. But she kinda played along with him, except there’s three clues later on that allow us to piece this together.

The first was the directions. Koyomi tried to give Hitagi the directions, but she refused and had him read it to her. Why? She didn’t see them! The second was Hanekawa. Mayoi told every character except Hitagi that she hated them. Why would she tell the sweet, Nagisa-like Hanekawa to fuck off, but she doesn’t tell the Johnny-stapling Hitagi the same thing? And, then, the final chance clue is that Hitagi apologized. We might have wondered if Hitagi can’t see Mayoi, why would she play along? The apology gives the motive behind that. Bravo. Wonderful storytelling.

And, you know what? Koyomi knew this. Maybe he buried it and didn’t want to believe it, but he knew this. It’s his Kanako-equivalent “Mariya has no penis” delusion. Not that bad, but gives you an illustration. Just shoot me. There’s no way Mayoi isn’t here. None. I won’t accept it.

Of course, I’m giving bonus points for Hitagi’s awesome Phoenix Wright / Battler finger-pointing skillz.

Loved Mayoi’s “don’t look at me, you’re the dumbass for following me around” stare.

Seeing Mayoi without a backpack… disorienting. It’s like seeing Horo with clothes on.

Could Ghostory be some sort of anti-Clannad? Similar themes approached in a vastly different way and utilizing the supernatural in vastly different ways as well.

I understand any reluctance to animate a little girl being run over (but this anime did just animate a little girl get sexually harassed), but really was the trippy scenes necessary? I don’t understand what’s the purpose of having “love me please!” superimposed on the images. Would this anime be truly worse if they just showed normal without the LSD?

This is one of those series where I’m sure a better understanding of Japanese would help. There’s just a lot of wordplay, and I hope that whoever brings this series to the US provides a dictionary of linear notes for us.

If I had to make a ranking of purple-haired anime characters, Senjougahara would rank above Kyou. But they both use the dictionary to abuse… just use the dictionary in complete different ways. (Again, anti-Clannad.)

Might be a good thing that she didn’t catch Koyomi abusing and groping a poor elementary school girl.

I think I’d enjoy taking screenshots of Mio more if K-On! aired in high def. I’m very glad Bakemonogatari airs in high def. Very glad. Very, very glad.

(I really enjoy the art deco look of this series. It’s distinct, looks great on high def, and the straight lines of the style accent Hitagi’s curves nicely making them seem more curvy. Wait, did I say that last part out loud?)

They… they… forgot to put the kanji number under the kanji in this slide! Shaft forgot to be Shaft! How horrible!

(“I am the one who became a snail.” Awesome. Though I liked how the camera kept zooming around in this scene… despite my feelings for Shaft being Shaft, Shaft knows camera work and typography. But it doesn’t excuse them for random nonsense.)

I’m noticing Hitagi, when she’s sincere, delivers her lines with her eyes closed. Mmm…

(Andohbytheway, we’ve officially resolved “Mayoi Snail.” Everything from now on, she’s an afterthought with the focus on Koyomi’s and Hitagi’s relationship. I mean… the arc started with the two taking about nakkid aprons, and it seemed out of place with respect to Mayoi. But, really, it was Mayoi out of place with respect to Koyomi and Hitagi. But nothing is wasted, not that scene… nor was Mayoi. Her role… she brought both Koyomi and Hitagi to a closer understanding of each other. I’m not sure if I’m more giddy about Hitagi’s ponytail, Senjougahara’s lines, or the storytelling.)

(If I had to point to an exact storytelling and moe opposite of Ghostory for this season… I would point to Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya 2009. Mmm… I wonder if the thin slicing rankings properly reflected this fact.)

It’s not just Hitagi liking Koyomi… it’s why she likes him. His helping of Mayoi, well, as Hitagi tries to explain, is one such reason.

(Love the setup of this scene with the sun starting to set behind Hitagi as she goes on about the most important aspect of this arc. Kyoto did this type of scene to good results with Clannad as well. Sunsets aren’t just pretty, they are symbolic of the climax of the day as well.)

Shiny!

August is the Month of Senjougahara. Look forward to it! And hide your staplers.

Kyoto won this week in terms of ass shots. But the real winner is us, the viewers.

(Still facepalming over my readers who were lamenting the fact it wasn’t Itsuki. The bar for YTAMR gets higher and higher ever week.)

They spent their whole Sunday talking in a deserted park. I felt like I spent my Sunday writing this post. Ugh. I’ve never averaged four thousand words posts for an entire series before… could I do it? Or will carpel tunnel knock me down first?

(Now that I got the Fashion Czar settle, next up for Team blog好き is someone to dictate my posts. I can think faster than I can type, so obviously, I need to find someone who can type faster than me, which is about 90 wpm with 0 errors on this test. And maybe after that’s settled, a web apps designer so we can make fancy Google Finance-type graphs of Hitagi’s verbal abuse meter over time.)

Three things slayed me about Senjougahara’s confession: One, her smile is more of a “I’m looking forward to stapling your Johnny” smile.

Two, she said “I love you” in English.

Three, how Mayoi deadpanned “Omedetou” afterwards.

(I give the overall scene a B+. I was expecting more blood or tears to be shed when she finally confessed to him. Speaking of confessions and “old” movies, I watched Can’t Hardly Wait recently, and it had Jennifer Love Hewitt before she, uh, gained a few sizes. Right sizes, not wrong sizes by the way. In one scene, her scumbag ex-boyfriend screams to a full room, “Who’d want you after I just dumped you?” to her. Um, it’s Jennifer Love Hewitt! I’m sure she’d find some takers. That’s bar none the least believable insult in movie history.)

Again, nothing wasted. We were told earlier about how Hitagi’s old home was around here, yet it was demolished for urban renewal. Because of that, they had a way to cheat around Mayoi’s condition (as Mayoi doesn’t have knowledge of the area’s changes after her death).

(Though I’m enjoying the heavy atmosphere… Hitagi fretting about her confession… and Koyomi too focused on Mayoi and not focusing enough on the proper response to Hitagi.)

Kyoto should have done Ghostory‘s crying scenes. Can we get the two studios to merge? I feel like an uber studio could be created. At the very least, you’d think there would be someone in Shaft with the common sense to go, “Doing eight reboots of the same episode is a bit too much. How about we stick Mesousa in the second reboot and a Triforce in the third and only do three?”

This is how I picture every car flag-waving Haruhi fanboy after Endless Eight finally ends. And I’m not looking forward to it.

“Good work. You were pretty impressive.”

“But you’re the one who did the work this time.”

“I guess, maybe, but it’s not like that, is it?”

A lot more interesting (and fun) if this scene wasn’t spoken in front of an empty lot but instead was a post-coital pillow talk scene.

I wonder who will get a nakkid apron breakfast first… Taki (with Kuroha)? Lawrence (with Horo)? Kyon (with Itsuki)? Koyomi (with Hitagi)? Can we put down odds for this sort of thing?

Love her non-abusive teasing as well. She’s has many pitches that she can throw for strikes.

“To put it bluntly, I just enjoy talking with you.”

“But we haven’t even talked that much, have we?”

“… so I want to talk with you more.”

Awesome. I like how Hitagi has gone from Tsundere-chan to a possible love-love relationship with Koyomi… and they’ve interacted for less than two whole days. To be fair, he’s seen her nakkid already. But what I like more… she enjoys taking with him. Of course she does! He’s an easy verbal abuse target who doesn’t fight back.

(But, please, continue being a verbal and stapling tsundere messiah. Noblesse oblige.)

“Unluckily, you were fallen for by a crazy virgin so starved for love that she’d fall for anyone who showed a little kindness.”

I like how she refers to herself as a crazy virgin, like that’s her defining trait. Should we start calling Hitagi Senjougahara “crazy virgin tsundere-chan”?

(And, yes, when she said earlier that they were going to Tsunade’s place, I thought she said Tsundere-chan.)

“If you tell me you want to think about it like a coward, I’ll despise you. You shouldn’t make women feel embarrassed.”

I think what should be going through Koyomi’s mind is…

“… if I say ‘yes,’ I might get nakkid apron breakfast with some crazy, freaky s&m that might end up to massive blood loss on my side…”

“… if I say ‘no,’ she might kill me here and now…”

“… if I’m going to hesitate, I might as well start running now and recreate Forrest Gump’s run across America.”

Oh, you disappoint me, Koyomi. When you said that you wanted a condition, I thought it was something like, “nakkid apron breakfasts every Saturday morning.”

“Don’t ever pretend you can see something you can’t, or that you can’t see something you can. If our viewpoints are different, let’s talk it out. Promise me.”

So in this scenario… is Koyomi representing the fanboys and Hitagi representing Kyoto Animation with Mayoi representing Endless Eight? ‘cuz, obviously, those first two groups desperately want to confess their love for each other, but they can’t see eye to eye right now concerning a certain topic.

“Can we put it into words? I don’t like this kind of unclear relationship.”

“My love is a stapler.”

Koyomi needed to man up and kiss Senjougahara then and there. I’m sorry. He didn’t need words; he needed action. There are forks in the road when you know when someone has it or doesn’t have it… and he just didn’t have it.

(Isn’t it kinda weird that Clannad went through over fifty episodes, and Tomoya failed to kiss anyone? Until the final episode? And it was Kyou? Mmm… delicious deretsun Kyou… but still, it’s a much better pace than K1 and Belldandy.)

“It’d be great if it came into fashion. Senjougahara fascination.”

Best. Line. (For the situation) Ever.

Still doesn’t excuse him from not taking the proper action. Was he afraid if he used his tongue, he’d feel sharp razorblades inside Hitagi’s mouth? (That’ll be awesome…)

Cue the always enjoyable Kimi no Shiranai Monogatari… and cue the younger sisters who seem to end every arc. Though, let me say to those two, as Palpatine said to Anakin, “We’ll be watching you with interest.”

“If you see me, why don’t you stop and chat?”

She’s back… if you have to be cursed by someone, wouldn’t you rather be cursed by an elementary school girl?

Probably my favorite preview quiz thus far combining baseball and the sisters deflowering Koyomi’s ahoge. More importantly, as much as I enjoy gg’s subs, there’s no “straight-o”. Fastball! Like we wouldn’t translate “fútbol” into “football” but rather “soccer.”

Lastly… out image 4tw! I have a question for you… crazed lesbian stalker aside, what haremette archetype do you want to see Koyomi encounter next?