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Aug 24 2010

Categories: episodic review, high school of the dead
Tagged: high school of the dead

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YOU GET TO BURNING!!!

The animation for this scene was ass horrible. There were basically like three images that were rerun out of sync with the spoken word. Horrible. The POTUS wasn’t even black! What the hell? Obama must be steamed he’s not in this fine anime.

(What would be funnier? If the POTUS were a sassy hick MILF instead. You betcha!)

One, they could have changed into semi-normal clothes like hours ago. Nothing prevented this. Two, if they’re fine fighting zombies in skimpy outfits, keep doing so. Why bother changing? Why bother adding weight and confining bras to a task that demands agility? Three, the extended crotch zoom-in on Saeko was just over the top. It’s like the director saw a rough cut of this and went, “You know, we don’t really have a plot anymore. Let’s just compensate with a crotch shots of lacy panties.” Four, I like how Takashi get blushed after seeing the girls fully clothed. Half-nakkid? He’s not interested. Wearing actual (but still slutty) clothing? Bonerriffic. Okay, I got that one from Bender. Should stop writing posts with Futurama on the background.

(“Girls, Guns, and Garters”. Feels like a great name for a blog. Not this one. My next name change will have to involve “ponytail’ in some shape or form.)

I like Hirano’s reasoning that because Rei knows how to lance, she can use an automatic rifle. I can cook rice and cook on a George Foreman grill; does it mean I’m able to fly a Joint Strike Fighter?

(Still can’t get over how anime do not realistically account for cell phones. In the final episode of the Wild Animal Sex Hair arc, we had a whole twenty seconds of drama where Junichi wondered if WASH would show up for their day-tou. This is crazy. One, what kind of guy would recreate the same scenario that shattered his heart two years ago? Some chix0r stood me up on Christmas… why, I’ll just recreate that setup for my next day-tou! Second, WASH couldn’t have text messaged Junichi telling him that she was running late? No text? No tweet? No e-mail? No phone call? Even though she’s WASH, no guy is going to be happy waiting half an hour without some sort of attempt at communication. And, Junichi, dude, why not try calling her or at least texting, “Where u @?” Ridiculous.)

(For High School of the Dead, let’s just say that if there were a zombie apocalypse happening, the cell phone infrastructure wouldn’t go down immediately. My iPhone would blow up with messages about zombies warning me to execute my zombie defense plans, which is plant sunflowers and pea shooters in both my front and back yards. Then I’ll work on the melon-pults for the roof. HSotD had Rei try to call her dad… but none of the other characters tried calling or texting. You’d think that would be a better idea than wading knee deep in zombies to reach them.)

(And, keep in mind, both of these shows happen in Japan, where, you know, cell phones are a big part of life. Hell, they even have Hello Kitty cell phone straps.)

Cell… what? What was I ranting about? Saeko + drool + nakkid apron = why I need a 52″ retina display TV. I don’t care if it costs $10k. Money much better spent than on buying a $5k 3D TV plus another $1k on 3D glasses.

(That’s not drool? Oi…)

“SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT YOUR GUN”

If I were Takashi, I would be thinking of shooting something, but it ain’t zombies.

(Definitely enjoyed Rei trying her best to fend off Saeko’s advances on Takashi. Keep in mind that just twenty-four hours earlier, Rei spat on Takashi and watched Takashi smash her then boyfriend’s head in with a baseball bat. As you probably knew already, women in anime are only slightly crazier than women– OWWWW– that cattle prod hurt!)

(Can we get a full CD of nursery rhyme Hirano remixes?)

Hirano has Mugi-class eyebrows. It would be awesome if here were the Chris Farley of the Kotobuki clan. It would explain how he got special training from Blackwater as a tourist… when Mugi and the rest of the family were gracing Finland, he was in Kabul.

Rei in a ponytail, but drawn at a bad perspective. Madhouse, I’m disappointed in you. I’m more disappointed in you right now than the Raiders are at JaMarcus Russell.

(I’ve seen JaMarcus Russell once at a Warrior’s game, and the only time he paid attention to the court was when the Warrior cheerleaders were out there. Then again, it is the Warriors, so I can’t blame him for that.)

(What kind of hairstyle would be best for fighting zombies? Mmm… Wild Zombie Sex Hair?)

“Did you notice?”

Notice… what?

But this is how I normally drive in San Francisco…

And, again, this is how stupid it is to ride on top of a moving car. Mythbusters already proved you can’t stay on top of one moving more than 15 mph to a sudden stop unless you’re basically strapped down. The force that the car will toss you is tremendous… even if Takashi managed to grab her arm, he wouldn’t be able to stop her from taking a spill. And, of course, Rei’s just sore… no smashed pelvis or anything. Or even scratches on delicious thigh meat.

One of the more ridiculous scenes of HSotD… but Rei’s melonpan would be a great stabilizer to absorb the recoil.

“We need more Saeko crotch shots! I don’t care if it isn’t in the manga! Find a way to get more crotch shots into this episode!”

*potted plant gets tossed at a lowly production assistant*

I liked their “last stand” though I probably would have liked it better if I didn’t know that Takagi’s parents’ faction would save them. Though I did like how everyone dropped their ammo… I liked how Takashi used his shotgun to club… I definitely enjoyed the melonpan anti-recoil mechanism (Rei’s either going to be very sore or very, uh, numb)… I liked how Takagi wasn’t useless, but she’s still less useful than Alice… I winced at all the over-the-top Saeko crotch shots. That pretty much sums up their “last stand”.

(Of course, they wouldn’t be here in this situation if they had an average driver instead of having to rely on Sound Effect Sensei. She’s, by far, the weakest link of the group. The dog even does more. It’s one thing to have a doctor when the illness is treatable, but they’re done for with a single bite. And would you really trust surgery or major medical procedures to her?)