kaitou tenshi twin angel kyun kyun tokimeki paradise!! 1

I thought JC Staff couldn’t get lower than Hiden no Aria. I was wrong.

I’m not going to sugar coat it. Kaitou Tenshi Twin Angel Kyun Kyun Tokimeki Paradise!! is awful. Terrible. It takes everything horrible about Sailor Moon and Pokemon, mashes them up, and presents them in animation better suited for 2001. The basic premise has two magical girls, whose origin story is completely skipped, fighting crime. They are Aoi (guess which one this is) and Kurumi, and for all purposes, their names could be Cinnamon and X-Tacsy and this show wouldn’t be any better or worse. In a huge nonsensical plot point, they’re supposed to be secret magical girls. Except their magical girl outfits are quite revealing and have no mask. What is their master plan for concealing their identity? Hoping everyone around them is stupid enough not to notice?

(Geez, why don’t you tell us how you really feel? Fine. It’s terrible. It’s like Jack in the Box tacos. Also, I couldn’t wait until a thin slicing post to warn people away from this show. Plus, it’s fun to call a show “the worst of the season” when everyone else is desperately trying to anoint “the best show of the season.”)

(The show name is terrible too. Did they really need the “kyun kyun” or the “paradise”? I feel like that’s like McDonald’s calling a Big Mac a Nom Om Big Bigger Biggest McDonalds Slop Burger. Kyun kyun.)

This show somehow turns Mamiko Noto, Rie Kugimiya, and Horie Yui into brain dead, giggling, vocally flat VAs. Somehow, I think they saw the script and animation and decided to mail it in. (At least the higher tier seiyuu effort was put into Queen’s Blade, and that effort is absent here.) I don’t blame them. I am mailing in this post about the show.

(And this hang gliding thing just confused me… how did they get hang gliders? Did they just jump off a second story house and glide for dozens of miles? Why are they tailing the truck with the tiara thus alerting everyone to which truck has said tiara? Why hang gliders?! No, seriously, why?!)

(Also, you can’t convince me this is a parody show. Everyone working on it, the animators, the musicians, the VA, etc just seem bummed that they’re working on it and are clearly just doing this for a paycheck. Much like Baron Davis.)

They have secret meetings inside a bathroom stall. I feel like you should know these things.

Their powers are hardly explained until after they use them… super strength and archery are as boring and bland as you can get for magical girl powers. If you’re expecting Nanoha-style epic battles, forget about it. If you’re expecting Oku-sama drama, forget about it. If you’re expecting Sailor Moon cheesiness, forget about it. If you’re expecting Kyubey to pop up, even he wouldn’t want to extract entropy from these magical girls.

(The animation is Studio Deen quality. Or lower. Think Deadman Wonderland.)

When the main villain popped up and stole the tiara with a fishing line when the two heroines were distracted by who knows what, I was thinking, “That’s a huge Team Rocket move. Team Rocket would always jump into the middle of chaos and snatch Pikachu with some ridiculous net when Satoshi’s back was turned. Guess what? The villain pops up in a huge cat mecha that was bought from a Team Rocket garage sale. I was disappointed when the loli villain didn’t do a “We are Team Rocket!” speech.

Of course, how does our loli villain escape once her plans were foiled? She escapes in a hot air balloon. I was cheering at this point for her to go, “Team Rocket blasting off again!” because that would at least have made the 24 minute investment in watching this show be somewhat worthwhile.

I like how they use an 3DS to start their magical girl transformation sequence. Would have been better if it were explained somehow instead of just being events strung together by the loosest of character interactions.

Everyone in the school goes gaga for this pretty boy. Of course, he’s the only boy who goes to this school and for whatever reason is so much taller than everyone else in middle school. Wouldn’t girls be at least even or taller than boys at that age? Of course, this led me to think, hey, is he going to be in the Tuxedo Mask role proving that girls are useless without a guy who can accurately toss roses backing them up?

Damn right. He wears formal-ish clothes and tosses roses to save the girls. I… I… let’s just move on.

18 Responses to “kaitou tenshi twin angel kyun kyun tokimeki paradise!! 1”

  1. My gawd…is that a moon crescent on his mask? Glad I didn’t watch this haha!

  2. Speechless. JC Staff is behind this monstrosity? Unbelievable. That’s something else.

  3. Hard to believe J.C. Staff’s also doing Kami-sama no Memo-chou. Maybe that’s where all the budget went.

  4. Err, that’s no middle-schooler. Alert the authorities!

  5. Would be more fun if this was a parody I guess.
    People complain about Nichijou, but KyoAni is going all out on that. JC Staff on this? Hmmmm.

  6. Heaven forbid JC Staff do something useful, like animate the rest of Ai Yori Aoshi…

  7. Which JC Staff would you rank lower. Hidan no Aria or Tsukihime? I know people love to deny this series but I prefer to not to, so I can remember that JCStaff’s past record is quite on the grey side.

  8. This show. This show. This show… And, still, I will have to watch at least one episode of it, just for the ave;new OP.

    Sheba: There is no Tsukihime anime, so, striking out the invalid choice, that only leaves Hidan no Aria. Easy.

  9. Hey, it’s a living. Get a paycheck by mailing it in? Good work, if you can get it.

  10. That’s not even formalish clothes. Those are just his school uniform with gloves, a cape, and a mask.

  11. There is a Tsukihime anime and it was made by JCStaff!



    Remember kids, do not blindly trust IPs to JCStaff!

  12. KyoAni puts a lot of time and effort into only animating the very best anime.
    In contrast, J.C. Staff aims to pump out as many as they can manage and hope that at least one will be somewhat decent. Unfortunately, this means there’ll be one crap one for every good one. (Though this one is exceptionally crap even by that standard.)

  13. This JC Staff show with a bad first episode turned out okay: http://blogsuki.com/archives/2005/10/09/429/

  14. KyoAni puts a lot of time and effort into only animating the very best anime.

    Eight times (couldn’t resist).

  15. @R @Neriya KyoAni really can’t get past that. Endless Eight will always stick with them and always will be something that screws them over.

    This show somehow turns Mamiko Noto, Rie Kugimiya, and Horie Yui into brain dead, giggling, vocally flat VAs.

    There was another anime recently that has pretty high-tier VAs that was pretty much crap.

    Can’t remember what that is now.

  16. You likely meant Dog Days. Oh boy, I grew sick of talking with fanboys of this series about why this is such a waste of ink, cells, VA and money.

  17. Isn’t that just his school uniform with a face mask and zero cloak?

  18. Sheba: You seem to be delusional. There really is no Tsukihime anime. Really, this must be some kind of contagious sickness of mind. I encounter it every once in a while.

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