round 1… begin!
Categories: l33t
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So I got Soul Calibur 2 for the PS2… then I picked up Frozen Throne the next day. This should occupy me until the end of the summer. Which one should I play… of course, if you know me by now, it’ll be the one with the chix0rs. Despite the night elves getting the warden hero, she just can’t compare to Seung or Sophitia.
I started to think of figther stereotypes and put this quick chart together… note that “Dude w/Sword” outnumber “Dude w/Chix0rs”.
| GG | Tekken | SC | MK | CapVS | DOA | |
| Old Bearded Dude | Kliff | Heihachi, Wang | Cervantes | Shang Tsung | Sagat | Gen Fu |
| Rivals | Sol/Ky | Paul/Kuma | None | Scorpion/Sub Zero | Ryu/Ken | Ayane/Kasumi |
| Dude w/Sword | Ky, Sol, etc. | Yoshimitsu | J00 Kidding? | Deadly Alliance | Strider | None |
| Dude w/Chix0rs | Johnny | None | None | None | None | Zack |
| Heavy | Potemkin | Gun Jack, Ganryu | Nightmare | Goro, Kintaro, etc. | E Honda, Hulk, etc. | Bass |
| Drunk | Anji (maybe?) | Lei, Dr. B | Voldo | Bo Rai Cho | None | None |
| “Badguy” | Sol Badguy (duh!) | Kazuya | Nightmare | Kano | Balrog | Zack |
| “It’s Pat!” | Bridget | Mokujin | Raphael | Montaro | Vega | Happily none |
| Ninja Chix0r | Baiken | Kunimitsu | Taki | Kitana | SNK Chix0rs | Ayane, Kasumi | Fanservice Chix0r | Dizzy, I-No, etc. | Julia, Christie | Seung, Sophitia, etc. | Kitana | Chung-Li | Are you kidding? |
So who wins?
Old Bearded Dude– MK. Shang Tsung is the only old bearded dude that I ever play as.
Rivals– DOA. Ky’s just a gnat to Sol, and no one cares about Ryu/Ken. At least the DOA girls present a nice catfight opportunity. ^^
Dude w/Sword– GG. Ky, Sol, Johnny, and Baiken drip in l33tness.
Dude w/Chix0rs– GG. This was tough since Johnny has an all female pirate crew, and Zack managed to trick all the DOA girls to come to his island. In the end, Johnny wins just because he has cooler attacks.
Heavy– Tekken. I don’t use heavies much, but Ganryu has some of the cheapest moves to ever grace a fighter.
Drunk– SC. He’s just uncontrollable to the point of being unplayable.
“Badguy”– GG. Sol gunflames his way to victory.
“It’s Pat”– GG. Bridget cuz Johnny hits on him.
Ninja Chixor– DOA. A few million fanboys can’t be wrong.
Fanservice Chix0r– DOA. In theory, this would be a tough category, but until I get my GG Xtreme Jello Wrestling or my SC Xtreme Wet T-shirt Contest, DOA wins for its sand, volleyball, and bikinis.
