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Sep 10 2006

Categories: anime, episodic review, zero no tsukaima
Tagged: zero no tsukaima

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Ponytails turn me on.

(For people who have finished Disgaea 2: Damn, Adell should have said, “Ponytails turn me on!” at the end. Someone needs to overlay the two and post it on Youtube.)

Continuing from the previous episode, Henrietta Peter Pan’ed herself into Louise’s bedroom to bring word that she’s marrying a prince from Germania (Kirche’s kingdom). Louise and Saito are shocked (but accepting) of her news:

“Even though it’s for the good of the kingdom, it is unfortunate.”

Translation: “At least she won’t be hitting on Saito.”

“I do not find any misfortune to sacrifice this body for the country… however, there is something I must do before that.”

Translation: ” Why do you think I’m here, at night, secretly in your bedroom, with you in your jammies?”

“Princess, if there is anything I can do, please ask!”

Translation: “I’m willing to sacrifice my body if it means that we keep Saito out of this!”

Unfortunately, Henrietta has a more conventional request: she asks that Louise and Saito go fetch a letter that she gave the Prince of Albion… who just so happens to be her cousin and childhood friend… mmm… sounds like the setup for some h-game turned anime from Key. I am curious what is in this letter. Love letter, perhaps?

Guiche overhears the conversation and inserts himself into the proceedings. Why? Maybe his seiyuu is hard up for cash, but his evesdropping seems very lame. Anyway, before this motley crew sets out, Saito has panties to wash… Saito’s just so not a man anymore.

Siesta stops by, I mean, there’s plenty of laundry to be done at like midnight. She apologizes to Saito for not believing his love potion story, and she blushes. Too cute. I’m okay if they name this series Zero no Tsukaima but feature nothing but Siesta. I’m fine with that. Anyway, Siesta’s time is brought to a sudden end when Saito asks her if she knows anything about “Gundams” err “Gundalfs.”

So she brings him to see the Vice Provost or whatever the dude is… and he explains that somehow Guymelefs… err Gundalfs are connected with the missing link in magic: Void Magic. (I know where’s there’s plenty of void magic: Ichijou Feast.) The Vice Provost explains that he’s trying to replicate “dragon blood” from a dragon that fell out of the sky long ago… if he wanted dragon blood, can’t he just slice up Tabitha’s? Anyway, I think the “dragons” are just airplanes and the blood is just gasoline… hence why Saito would think of a familiar scent.

(If only they took this series in A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court‘s direction… have Saito arm them with the real magic: gunpowder and GPS-guided bombs. BTW, for people who have read this book, the ending was just so OMFG. It was more like a zombie survival guide than a Mark Twain novel at that point.)

(I don’t understand why Siesta wasn’t at least in the background nodding or something. Wouldn’t she be a bit interested if she were interested in Saito?)

(And why does the Vice Provost have a shed in the back? And why is he working in it… in the summer… in the middle of the night? He’s really Groundskeeper Willie!)

The next morning, before the gang heads out, Guiche’s familiar, the mole Belldandy, attacks Louise. First ever attempted mole rape in anime history. I’m startled. Anyway, while Saito and Guiche are too busy enjoying the moment, Louise is saved from Ward-o-sama.

Ward is the leader of Henrietta’s griffon knights, a high caliber mage, and Louise’s fiancee. Yep, the guy who looks like he’s 50 is engaged to the lolitastic Pink Haired Zero Magic Mage… Elessar he’s not. Anyway, Louise and Ward-o-sama enjoy a very lovey-dovey trip while Saito stews in the back. Is he stewing because he has a crush on Louise or is he stewing that his journey is now officially a sausage fest?

After finding a town to stop over for the night, Ward-o-sama challenges Saito to a deal… to see if he’s as man as he’s been hearing? He then invites Louise to their bedroom… yes, their bedroom. If they’re to be wed, why not start early? Louise actually goes along, and the two drink wine… uh-oh. Saito is meanwhile stewing in his room thinking about Gundams and Guymelefs instead of Louise getting it on with some old dead. But when Ward presses Louise for a wedding date, she fumbles out Saito’s name… and Ward vacates. Wha? He was so close, dammit.

The next morning, Saito and Ward have their duel… and predictably, Ward owns Saito with a combination of fencing and magic… fengic! The battle is just a lot of mindless slashing and not real flow to it. Basically, the WWE. JC Staff needs to hire away Miki’s battle choregrapher… but it is a vast improvement over the Saito and Guiche duel. Anyway, Ward comments that Saito cannot defeat a mage and cannot protect Louise. His taunt would sound a lot better if he went through with his plan the previous night, but alas. We all know now that before the series ends, uh, soon, Saito needs to defeat a mage. My advice: gunpowder and GPS-guided munitions. Oh how hard can it be to launch a constellation of geosynchronous satellites? That was my high school science project… and I only got a “B” for it.

Zero no Tsukaima Character Power Rankings™

What are the odds that someone would listen into Louise’s and Henrietta’s conversation so late at night? Remember, the school is about empty right now… my guess… Guiche evesdrops at Louise’s door everynight hoping to overhear some hawt familiar x mage action. And that’s why he’s at the top spot this episode.

(BTW, I also loved Belldandy’s attack on Louise… I liked how Guiche doesn’t call it off and instead muses about the situation. I’m rooting for him to kill of Saito so we can have a male character who will take advantage of the situations provided him.)

Louise was in full Shana mode this episode. Full Force Shana this episode to the point that I’m shaking my head right now wondering how they could have aired this episode without tossing in an “Urachai! Urachai! Urachai!” I seriously cannot keep the two of them straight anymore… thankfully, one’s pink haired and the other’s dark haired. I think one day we need to chance Shana’s hair to pink and then play the “Which one is Hikaru? Shana?” game. I think I’d fail each time.

ツンツン: Pretty much every Louise and Saito moment.

デレデレ: When Ward picked her up… and carried her for miles and miles on the griffen. My oharuhi-sama… his hands much have been everywhere.

I thought that this episode suffered a bit because Louise was so reserved. Zero no Tsukaima is much more entertaining when Louise’s emo or love drives the series.

For inducing a girl half his age to join him for wine in his hotel room, he would have made first. But like any other loser harem male, he runs off with his tail between his legs after Louise whispers, “Saito.” If Ward were a real man, he’d have his way with Louise then gloat to Saito, “Sloppy seconds.”

(I find his extremely creepy. He looked like a young adult when he was in the boat with Loli Louise… so he was staking out a near-toddler as a future wife? Even if it’s arranged, it’s still ab it much… and then he goes on to win all this acclaim and probably has women tossing themselves at him… yet… he wants Louise? Does any of this add up? Zero plus zero equals zero, I guess.)

I liked the “I can only invoke these powers when I’m using a real weapon” excuse. Was this in the novel or a JC Staff creation?

I also liked his, “I will protect you” line. Louise’s response was typical Shana. Louise desperately needs to stumble across some melonpan.

But unfortunately, since Ward-o-sama has the credentials and manages to get デレデレ Louise without ツンツン Louise, Saito is fighting an uphill battle. His only possible comeback would be, “Oh, yeah! Those panties are sparkin’ clean because of me!” Actually, scratch that. He was no possible comeback. Just stew in peace… stew in peace.

Not enough screentime, especially for Siesta. I think this is the first episode thus far to feature a lot more screentime for male characters than female characters… for a harem anime, that’s not a good thing.

My opinion of JC Staff sinks lower and lower with every episode I watch. I think it’s the Law of Conversation of Anime Quality: for every studio going up, there’s a studio going down in flames. Right now, I’ll give the balance to Kyoto and Bones (who did a fantastic job with Ouran) from Studio Deen and JC Staff.

There’s only three episode left… I really hope this ride goes somewhere. So far, Zero no Tsukaima’s been an entertaining series, but I get the feeling that I’m going to forget about Louise’s and Saito’s adventures soon after it finishes. While the novels have found great success, JC Staff left out the juicy bits… much like Studio Deen leaving out any pretense that Higurashi is a mystery series… as I always say, dance with the one who brought you. If the novels or visual game were popular for a reason, it’s best to make sure that reason translates damn well into the anime. You hear me, Type Moon?