celestial being a la carte

Not happy with Celestial Being? Remake it. So here’s the idea… take all the characters one knows of in anime and build one’s ideal Celestial Being from it. Who does one choose? Who will pilot which Gundam? What would it say about one’s personality beyond, “I need a more constructive use of my free time?”

I did say I would expand on the idea of coming up with new Gundam Meisters in my previous post. As a twist of the harems a la carte idea, two similar restrictions exist. The first is that instead of filling six harem roster spots, we’re filling eight Celestial Being spots: four Gundam pilots, one tactician, one cute support mecha, one bridge bunny, and one costume changing bridge bunny. I thought about adding an engineer, a Rukia All-Star, but, eh, eight’s even becoming an unmanageable number. Even fantasy leagues aren’t this asinine.

The second restriction is that each series can only one character from that series and no Gundam characters are allowed (since what’s the fun of remaking Celestial Being with Gundam pilots). For example, if you wanted Sagara as a pilot, Tess can’t be a tactician (or bridge bunny).

So Derailed’s Celestial Being would consist of…

Pilot of Virtue: Simon, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann

Easiest pick by far. Simon’s a premier mecha pilot, and the matryoshka doll that is Virtue should fit him perfectly. Honestly, with a competent Gundam Meister like Simon, that’s already a 50,000,000% improvement over the original Celestial Being. Sadly, the inclusion of the greatest spiral energy mecha pilot ever prevents Darry from being used as either another mecha pilot or as a bridge bunny. I’m sad already.

Pilot of Exia: Sagara Sousuke, Full Metal Panic

Second easiest pick. If I needed a kid warrior from some Oyashiro-sama forsaken place in the Middle East, I’d go with Sagara. He’s just built for Exia, maybe even more so than Setsuna. (And why does Setsuna have a middle name in his code name… “Oh that Setsuna F. Seiei.”?) And, yes, it would be 50,000,000% more awesome if Sagara piloted Exia while inside of a Bonta-kun suit.

Pilot of Dynames: Allen Schezar, Escaflowne

Tough pick. There’s a lot of good mecha pilots out there to pick from, including Roy Focker, Akito Tenkawa, Renton Thurston, and others, but I’m not happy finding just a good pilot. I want one that fits with Simon and Sagara. Simon is the hot blooded pilot type, and Sagara can either be hot blooded or the cold calculating type, so the third spot should go to a cold calculating pilot… and that means Allen Schezar (over Van Fanel). Allen’s also a premier pilot, fairly unflappable, and he’d hit on underaged high school girls. Perfect for the pilot of Dynames.

Pilot of Kyrios: Kallen Stadtfeld, Code Geass

I definitely wanted a female pilot as the fourth Gundam Meister. I did toy with the idea of having Mikuru as the fourth pilot just for comedy’s sake, but I’m leaning more towards the real deal: a competent mecha pilot and a fanservice machine. All hail bunny girl Kallen! It’s not the perfect mecha for her as Kyrios isn’t the same melee beast that Guren Nishiki is, but she’s a good enough pilot to adapt to Kyrios’ many strengths. And, yes, her “plug” suit will have bunny ears.

(Thought about Natsumi Hinata for Kyrios as well, but she needs some time in the developmental league whereas Kallen does not.)

Tactician: Hakuoro, Utawarerumono

Tactical genius was tough to pick… Lulu and Tess are out (because I’d rather have Kallen and Sagara in my Celestial Being), and I’m left with some unappetizing choices. Natsuki from Mai Otome? Ugh. Keroro? Puh-lease. Yuki Nagato? Too quiet. Ruri Hoshino? Ditto. Horo? Really stretching. I was almost going to go with Ryousuke from Project D, but then I remembered all the times his “strategy” involved a lucky tofu deliverer. Then it came to me… one of the few real tactical geniuses in anime, the masked man himself, Hakuoro. Now here’s a tactician who is battle proven. Even though he lacks Sumeragi-class melonpan, he has many in his harem who more than makes up for it.

Cute Support Mecha: Reinforce Zwei, Nanoha

Just like how Haro provides mecha comedic action, Reinforce Zwei can be just as hilarious while providing a layer of fanservice. Oh man, I should have had Kana Minami be the pilot of Dynames… Little Boss and I Am Boss in the same cockpit!

Bridge Bunny: Haruka Minami, Minami-ke
Costume Changing Bridge Bunny: Kyou Fujibayashi, Clannad

The last two spots for the obligatory bridge bunnies were tough. Very tough. I wanted competency and fanservice, so I had to scratch out Mikuru even though with Simon, Sagara, Allen, Kallen, and Hakuoro, I don’t really need any other members of Celestial Being. That’s already like Kobe, LBJ, Duncan, and Dwight Howard with Pops for a coach. I think Haruka would be both a competent bridge officer and fanservice distraction. For the costume changing bridge bunny, well, I had to go with Magical Girl Kyou. Delicious thigh meat 4tw… and those socks in episode 16… uh… am I thinking out loud again? The only dangerous part is if any of the Meisters end up on injured reserve because of a “dictionary-related accident.”

I think Derailed’s Celestial Being can hang with the best of them out there. It’s like a Super Robot Wars wet dream. I’d like to see about your ideas for your Celestial Being, even if they’re not of the “best possible” variety and in trying to make a “worst possible” (must have Shinji Ikari) or “emo facial distortion” version or even “DFC only” Celestial Being (which would be definitely bizarro). But to top the unintentional humor of the current Celestial Being… that’s going to be tough.

58 Responses to “celestial being a la carte”

  1. I dunno, I feel like you neglected to take into account craziness and facial distortions. Both are well established predictors of Gundam piloting ability. Otherwise you end up with a squad of Kiras, and no one really wants to watch that.

  2. You can Add Sanzenin Nagi as founder of CB…

  3. I gave up on 00 after episode 2 but i’ll give this a shot none the less.

    4 pilots,

    Simon, TTGL

    Ryu Soma, Argento Soma … was extremely competent in his ability. Just has a ‘size inferiority complex’ >_<

    Dio Eraclea, Last Exile …. Itsuki pilot without having to use my Hauri-ism pick.

    Morinas, simoun … for the smexy Gundam pilot and possible yuri connection with the bridge bunnies…

    Light Yagami/Kira, Death Note

    Support Mecha
    Ryoko Kaminagi, Zegapain ….. gotta think about the sync rate!!!!

    Bridge Bunny
    Yuki Fukazawa, Over Drive … So smexy.. in that Yukata… and sandals… with the black toe nail polish…oh… am i thinking out loud?

    Costume Rape Bridge Bunny
    Mikuru Run Run, Hauri-ism … How could you not choose Mikuru In any costume let alone a seductive military outfit. Imagine the moe that would be produced if they changed her outfit every week. Might disrupt the ‘Moe-continuum’… maybe this choice is in-advisable.

  4. Gokigenyou 00!?! I so want this. XD

    It’s articles like this that makes me come back to your blog.

  5. The “F” in Setsuna F. Seiei can mean many things but for the sake of politeness I’ll just put fugly.

    To build my elite squadron along the lines of Great Britain’s famed No. 56 Squadron circa WWI with James McCudden, Richard Maybery, Keith Muspratt, Reginald Hoidge, Arthur Rhys Davids and Hammersley when they challenged Werner Voss in one of the Greatest Dog Fights in history I would have chosen:

    No. 56 Squadron

    Exia: Cornelia Li Britannia (Code Geass) is an excellent candidate given her close combat skills and ruthless efficiency. Her skills in the art of command would serve well as the ground commander of the squadron. Exia would also allow her to lead as a front liner. Craziness factor: dead sister.

    Dynames: Kurz Weber (Full Metal Panic), Dynames is a sniper thus it is only fitting for one of the premier snipers in anime to pilot this engine of long ranged death. With Weber this squadron can really reach out and touch some one. Besides he likes being ordered around by women warriors, and I am sure that Cornelia can keep him on a tight leash. Craziness factor: is never going to get laid by Exia’s pilot.

    Kyrios: Roy Focker (Macross) heck if I am going to have a variable fighter in the squadron it may as well be one of the best pilots out there. As a pioneer in the variable fighter pilot corps. he’s a pilot’s pilot with his smoking and all too common drunken state. Besides I could not pass up the opportunity to pimp out Kyrios with the Jollyroger. Craziness factor: Drunk is a form of crazy.

    Virtue: Chikane Himemiya (Kannazuki no Miko), this was tough I couldn’t think of a damage soaking thickie that wouldn’t fuck things up for my elite squadron, so given that Virtue is really a girl Chikane was selected after a rigorous selection process. Since we are in a market for complex possible fifth columnists Chikane is by far a one of the best choices. Still it stands to reason that as the pilot of Virtue Chikane would more often or not turn into Nadleeh and do something more elegant to defeat her enemies. Nevertheless since I need one partially independent pilot it may as well be one that can get things done even if it calls for less than honorable methods. At least this bumps up the chances of having some delicious yuri love with one of the bridge bunnies… Craziness factor: Unrequited yuri love that may manifest in some very physical ways.

    Tactician: Yang Wenli (Legend of the Galactic Heroes), renowned commander of modest forces who faced impossible odds, having this man in the captain’s chair would result in the nest use of this squadron as a surgical strike force rather than a cudgel. With him operating without political constraints this man would do great things, and lead his troops through the gates of hell and back. Hakuoro please, Yang Wenli can wipe the floor with him in mere minutes.

    Mascot: Haruhi-sama, let’s face it when the going gets tough the tough get going, but with God on your side you can’t possibly lose! If by some strange happenstance that No. 56 Squadron is some how in dire straits then all they need to do is invoke the power of God herself and all will be well. Besides who else can costume rape like the first and greatest? Haruhi-sama has very simple wants and needs and since Yang Wenli is by far one of the smartest anime characters and a good reader of people it is a simple task to placate her to keep her on our side. Did I mention she is also God, and her SOS-brigade is a mandatory part of her baggage as a God of her stature needs attendants.

    Bridge Crew:
    Haruka Minami, this selection explains it self.

    Chii/Freya (Chobits): I am a sucker for two for one deals and to put it bluntly redundancy is a key component in any sort of independent operation. As such having a super computer back up is always a good idea and even better she can be used to help out the WoW party and build up a nice reserve of gold for the No. 56 Squadron Guild. Since funding is going to be an issue why not profit from a customer base that numbers 9 million strong. Heck Chii/Freya might be able to get a side job ad a Wow Server farm!

  6. I can well imagine Haruka going Banchou on anyone who breaks down mid-battle.

    Can we have Gundam characters for the supporting cast? I’d like to submit Haro as a more effective replacement for Saji Crossroad.

  7. Upon the reading of Jason’s lastest article, from the deepest pits of the purgatory of gundam SERIOUS BUSINESS fanboys, the hateful and butt-hurt cries of the Animesuki Sunrise Warrior echoed forth.

  8. Don’t stop now!

    Well, for Kyrios, wouldn’t the correct analog be Shinji Ikari?

    Hear me out! He’s sorta wimpy, and has a tendency to go berserk and kill people at random. He could sort of sit and shake in a corner with the best of them, AND he’s got experience with a drunken woman who seems to hit on him but not really cuz he’s not really manly enough to tap that.

    Plus, this way, Kallen can be the bipolar Nena Throne. She also sort of randomly hits on a guy who is, well you know (but not really, cuz he’s got Haremites, even if we all see it) AND she’s capable of undercover spy work and ass-kicking.

    I guess you’d need to find an overprotective older brother analog, and whatever the third guy does. For the brother, I’m leaning towards replacing him with a girl and picking the crazy Magikano sister, and for the last brother, who I have no idea, I’m thinking somebody from Berserk, just so the Thrones will have some semblance of seriousness.

    Soma = Anemone, no problems there. I’d use Rei, but I got Shinji already.
    Graham Acre can be played by the guy from Macross Seven. The human one. He’s got that air about him, right?
    Sadly, at this point, I forget all the Gundam character names. But I’m sure this could have been a lot larger.

  9. Now if only all the studios animating their respective characters, along with the real voice actors, and the writer and director creating some random ass battle for them to be in for a few eps….. it could be a galaxy tossingly epic OAV.

  10. This would be my Celestial Being:

    Pilot of Virtue: Jean Starwind- Outlaw Star
    Pilot of Exia: Suzaku- Code Geass
    Pilot of Dynames: Naomi Fluegel- Zoids: New Century Zero
    Pilot of Kyrios: Alex “Cunningham” Hume- Immortal Grand Prix
    Tactitian: L- Death Note
    Cute Support Mecha: Yuki Nagato- (you know where)
    Bridge Bunny: Hinagiku Katsura- Hayate no Gotoku
    CC Bridge Bunny: Reika Hojo (the inner one)- Goshuushou-sama Ninomiya-kun

    Jean Starwind is an all-around great pilot, so I placed him in Virtue. Suzaku kills with the Lancelot, placed him in Exia for total pwnage. Naomi’s possibly the coolest sniper there is, hence, she’s paired with Dynames. Alex Cunningham is among the greatest mecha pilots of all time, so it was tough placing him, but in the end I paired him with Kyrios. L is L. Nuff’ said. The rest of the team, should also be self-explanatory.

  11. Alright, the problem with the first image is…

    There is someone who doesn’t belong there….. and it doesn’t look strange at all….

  12. Pilot of Virtue: Ayanami Rei (Eva)
    Pilot of Exia: Sakata Gintoki (Gintama)
    Pilot of Dynames: Giroro (Keroro)
    Pilot of Kyrios: Melissa Mao (FMP)
    Tactitian: Yang Wen Li (LotGH)
    Cute Support Mecha: Urd (OMG)
    Bridge Bunny: Tsuruya-san (SHnY)
    CC Bridge Bunny: Saber (F/S N)

    now that’s an all star line up

  13. Damn, no Lolilaika for tactician?

  14. The top image immediately made me think
    “G00 ~ a tale of mammaries~”

  15. Exia’s Pilot – Sagara Sousuke from FMP (well he’s still the best candidate no doubt)
    Dynames’ Pilot – Nanoha Takamichi from Nanoha Striker S (well I like to hear her “Shoot” while blasting the target)
    Virtue Pilot – Nozomu Itoshiki (This would be something..)
    Kyrios Pilot – Saito from Zero No Tsukaima (Well with his ability as Gandalf, he can make Kyrios more powerful than before)

    Tactician – Lillian from Princess Resurrection (Well she’s the best tactician for the job though very compassionate towards her enemies)

    Cute Support Mecha – Shugo Chara from Shugo Chara (Well just choose anyone you like ^_^)

    Bridge-Bunny – Haruka Minami from Minami-ke (No doubt about it she fits this position well)

    Costume Changing Bridge Bunny – Himawari from Himawari (Although nonappealing, she’s love changing costumes a lot and always there for his master needs)

  16. Damn. I started thinking about who I’d choose but I can’t really think of one superior to Jason’s. Still, I’ll give it a try

    Virtue: Kinda has to be Simon. Tiera makes the Virtue seem ridiculous, and I can’t think of anyone BUT Simon who could manage to take the ridiculousness and transform it into raging GAR of spiral energy. Kamina’s a close second.

    Exia: Well, the trend of total agreement continues. Sousuke owns with altogether average mechs. They just gave him one that’s on par and he wiped the floor with the enemy. Imagine him with something as overpowered as the Exia.

    For the calm pilot it’s a bit harder. One problem with finding a good sniper is they’re usually invalid thanks to some other member of the team (Yoko or Kurz would be fantastic. But Yoko’s out because no one can handle the Virtue like Simon or Kamina, and Exia was made for Sousuke.) But there aren’t that many amazing mech snipers. So it’s a toss-up between the Major and Saito, both of Ghost In The Shell. Saito’s a better sniper, but the Major wins out with more mech experience, overall competency, and hawt lesbian antics.

    Kyrios is trickier. Sad thing is, there just aren’t any good transformation-based pilots that do fanservice. A fighter-pilot AND a mech pilot AND a fanservice machine? Those are rare. Roy Fokker’s a solid choice, but Roy won’t be producing fanservice like others (*cough*Kalle*cough) can. The only person who fits is Lafiel from Crest of the Stars. Her mech skills are unproven, but she’s a great ship pilot and honestly? That’s the main thing the Kyrios is useful for.

    As always, the tactician is the hardest part. I must agree that Hakuoro is the best choice: calm, capable, reliable, and good at using his forces. Hakuoro’s only fault is the extent he relies a bit too much on his individual subordinates, but with this team, he has every right to. Lulu is my alternate. He has more mech experience than Hakuoro, and a more impressive record for achieving seemingly impossible wins. But he’s also got more weaknesses, namely Nunally. Assuming that Nunally is either safely somewhere else (as only one cast member from the same series can be present) or well-protected on the ship, then I would deem Lelouch to be an even tie with Hakuoro. I’d considered Light-o but things start to fall apart for him once he has more than a few subordinates, so I’m loathe to give him command over a team.

    I have to agree with Crusader on the mascot. Haruhi would assure that all the bridge bunnies, the Major, and Lafiel, are all thoroughly costume-raped. This needs to happen. Regularly.

    Haruka is the obvious answer for Bridge Bunny, and I won’t argue with this decision.

    For back-up Bridge Bunny it’s tougher, but picture this: The Major, Haruhi, and Bi-Kyou. All in a room together (especially if Ryou visits her sister regularly.) Isn’t that a beautiful image?

  17. All other spots are pretty open ended (i like the idea of Vash the Stampede as Dynamis very much, or Guan Yu from any one of 20 skimpy sangokushi as Virtue), but no one beats Yang Wen Li as tactician. no one. case closed. I think beside me only one listed him though… very sad.

  18. I don’t think even God could’ve chosen a better Celestial Being or 4/5ths of Team USA/NBA all-star/today’s version of the dream team’s starting lineup. (just throw in a Jason Kidd or Chris Paul at point and you’re set!)

  19. Hakuoro have Godzilla mode. Handy when the need arises.

  20. Further thoughts. Akagi (Akagi) or Admiral Spoor (Seikai) for tactician!

    With Akagi in charge, Celestial Being would win in the first episode and no Gundams would be necessary. The three factions would turn out to have been manipulated by him into signing their sovereignty away to the mahjong demon.

    Admiral Spoor would at least allow the series to last a little longer, but we’d be treated to her attaching guns to the Ptolemy and charging into battle, insructing the Meisters to cover the Ptolemy’s rear while she did the hard work herself.

  21. Pilot of Virtue: Duke Fried from Grendizer (See wikipedia)
    Pilot of Exia: Saito from Ero no Tsukaima (Nobody beats him in a melee)
    Pilot of Dynames: Kurz Weber (Full Metal Panic) See Crusader’s reasons
    Pilot of Kyrios: Nausicaa ( She is the lord )

    Tactician: Tan Wen Li from Legend of Galactic Hero ( Nobody beats him in tactical situation )

    Cute Support Mecha: Clotho from Five Star Story ( She is the ultimate Support personnel)

    Bridge Bunny: Nagato Yuki from Haruhi ( It is all about informations )

    Costume changing Bridge Bunny: Chii/Freya (Chobits) See Crusader

    Replacement Pilots: Maxmillian Jenius and Milia Fallyna couple from Macross : One of the best mecha fighting scene in the anime history.

    Executive Officer ( Tactician’s aide ) : Teresa Testarotha from Full metal panic : A real fan-service machine who happens to be smart enough to be of help to Yan Wen Li

    Chief Mechanic : Keiichi from Oh! My Goddess : He is a good mechanic and a goddess magnet.

  22. My pilots: Mai Tokiha, Anna Aoi, Teana Lanster, and Rena Ryūgū.

    Tactician: Nana-sama

    Bridge bunnies: Reimi Odajima, Miina Miyafuji, and Misaki Nanaha.


  23. Virtue: Simon – pretty obvious choice
    Exia: Sagara – also obvious
    Dynames: Maya (Soukou no Fafner) – Weber and Yoko were out so a cute under-aged girl with really good sniping skills is the next best thing
    Kyrios: Sara Werek (S-Strain) – Surprised she hasn’t been mentioned yet. A very competent pilot, and given how odd Strains looked I think she’d be able to handle Kyrios just fine.
    Tactician: Balalaika – Seriously just give her a squad of competent pilots and she will wipe out the enemy making them suffer along the way. I was tempted to put Rock here just because playing chicken with an armed helicopter is one of the best battle strategies I’ve ever seen.
    Cute Support Mecha: Aigis (Persona 3) – are video games allowed? Cause she fits the bill perfectly.
    Bridge Bunny1: Minami Haruka – pretty, competent, and able to handle stressful situation – enough said.
    Bridge Bunny2: Suzumiya Haruhi – I give up, I’ve got to add her somewhere in there. She will just have fun dressing Haruka up in-between battles.

  24. Pilot of Virtue: Jung Freud, Gunbuster
    Pilot of Exia: Punie, Dai Mahou Touge
    Pilot of Dynames: Benten, Urusei Yatsura
    Pilot of Kyrios: Skuld, A!MG
    Tactitian: Bathyscaphe, World of Narue (sentient battleship)
    Cute Support Mecha: Ryo-Ohki, Tenchi Muyo original series
    Bridge Bunny: Polon, Kolokolo Polon (daughter of Apollo)
    CC Bridge Bunny: Nanako, Nanako SOS (survivor of Krypton)

  25. The pilot of kyrios look hot

  26. Virtue – Papillion (Busou Renkin) – I’ll take silly, butterfly loving, HARD GAY character over pink sweater any day.
    Exia – Honoka (Aoi Hitomi no Shoujo) – I hear she’s pretty good at cutting things in half. Oh and plug suit FTW!
    Dynames – Jo (Bakuretsu Tenshi) – She’s a mech pilot, she’s great with guns, and she’s competent. She’s also used to babysitting/rescuing her teamates (I’m looking at you Meg/Setsuna.)
    Kyrios – Pierrot Bolneze (Yakitate Japan) – “Because I’m a world-level clown!”

    Tactician – Narumi Ayumu (Spiral) – The great thing about detective shows is that they generally explain the thought processes of the current scenario. At the very least he could make it seem like there’s a reason to send your Gundams to fight the combined military might of the world with nary a competent backup plan to be seen.

    Support Mecha – It’s hard to top Reinforce Zwei

    Bridge Bunny – Lion-chan (Bamboo Blade) – Because I love her nodding-in-agreement face.

    Costume changing bridge bunny – Hinamori Amu (Shugo Chara) – Hillarious and full of costume changes, she can also replace Felt as the pink haired loli character. Just replace Lockon with ear nibbling Ikuto.

  27. I’m disillusioned. How can you NOT put Mikuru as a bridge bunny. Competence is no excuse at all.

    And for everyone putting Haruhi as a bridge bunny…she’d definitely just knock out one of your top four out just before crunch time and pilot their gundam instead.

    Other than that I’ve got nothing. Bar maybe a team of Shion Sonozaki, Miki Onimaru, Orange-kun and Shinji Ikari with Haruhi as tactician self destructing in a blaze of glory within the space of the first two episodes.

  28. ARUGH!!!! I cant read the whole post (mostly for the pics) because I’m at school. orz…

  29. Tactician – Zapp Brannigan!

  30. I agree with your choices except I think Dynames should be none other than Maximilian Jenius from Macross. By far one of the best pilots ever in mecha anime, and also a quite ladies man (see Macross 7) he’d be a good counterpart to the more seat-of-their pants Sagara and Shimon. The tactician should be none other than Reinhard von Lohengramm from Legend of the Galactic Heroes. I say Reinhard instead of Yang Wen-Li like everyone else, because Reinhard isn’t constrained by listening to orders but instead will do what he thinks needs to be done and he’s also the complete package who will not only stop all wars, but find a political way to solve it.

    My totally silly crew:
    Pilot of Virtue: Ryoga/P-Chan (Ranma)
    Pilot of Exia: Mai’s Brother (Mai HiME)
    Pilot of Dynames: Tamaki Suou (Ouran High School Host Club)
    Pilot of Kyrios: Rena Ryugu (Higurashi)
    Tactitian: The Manager (Yakitate!! Japan)
    Cute Support Mecha: Milfeulle Sakuraba (Galaxy Angel)
    Bridge Bunny: Mizuho Miyanokouji (Otome wa Boku ni Koishiteru)
    CC Bridge Bunny: Nyuu (Elfen Lied)

  31. Personally I don’t think just being good is good enough… you need people who embody that infinate super human spirit. The one that overcomes the impossible to attain an unreachable goal!


    Virtue has to be Simon. He IS infinity. There is a chance that he could take EVERYONE else on my team… at once… with one hand.

    Exia would be Kamina Ayato from Rahxephon… you have A. A decent pilot that can fight up close and B. A potental berzerker for those impossbile situations when you just need to shut up and rip things apart. Overcomes his genetic programming telling him to shut up and color, gets more than one girl (you know what I mean, think about it), kills aliens with atomic screamming, and saves the world.

    Dynames: Ritsuko from Those Who Hunt Elves. Anyone that shoots that well with an M-16 is worthy of this slot. While not technically a mecha pilot she does drive a tank. A posessed tank. If that spirit were to jump to her mecha would make her unstoppable. Saves two worlds from colapsing while in a fantasy world where her and her rifle, tank, and cohorts are the only sanity (if you can call it that) left… and strips elves while doing so. Infinity people…

    Kyrios: Souske, fits here better than anywhere else. He is all purpose more than close combat. He also gets the girl (or a choice of several), saves the world, activates the ultimate technology with the power of love, AND liberates the Bonta-kun suit then reinvents it as tactical awesome gear.

    Tactical mastermind: Hakuoro. He defeated an empire with farmers… much like George Washington (yes we know Mr. Washington had help… so did Hakuoro) ^_^ … plus he’s mostly a demon. With that much kick ass you may not need the rest of the force.

    Support Mecha: Haruhi. The gods are infinity too. I was having such a problem thinking of a support character that embodied infinity that I copped out on this one… on one note (be it good or bad) the bridge bunnies may be ruined for marrige.

    Bridge Bunnies: As much as it says bunnies we all know we need a Nekomimi Meido. A Nekomimi Meido capable of infinity in any way is a difficult thing to come by. I am forced in this regard to give it to our trap Nekomimi Meido, known for his acts of infinity in the service of his loli master, Ayasaki Hayate.

    But all good bridges have more than one bunny. In this case we need someone infinately cute, infinately smart, and infinately dangerous. Ichinose Kotomi. Extremely cute, extremely smart, deadly with the violin. Kotomi, spelled with 3 hiragana, you can call her Kotomi-chan.

  32. Wait… why is Souske wearing an Air Force top with Master Sargent stripes on it? And not his name? And the sleves rolled wrong?

    Way out of regs on that one Souske… WAY out of regs.

  33. Am I the only one who’d write in Misato Katsuragi for tactician? Curvaceous drunken female battle-commanders are just fine so long as they’re competent ones.

  34. Aye, Misato would definitely be a pretty wicked choice. Beer + Shota-complex 4tw!

    On the other hand, I would like to see Light-o as the tactical commander. Of course, I think he may just start yelling “Just as I planned!” whenever anything good happens.

  35. I don’t know who I’d pick for the rest of the team, but I would second Maya from Fafner for Dynames. As CC Bridge Bunny, the best I can think of is Najica from Najica Blitz Tactics. She changed alot of costumes, showed alot of skin, showed alot of panties, and kicked alot of major butt all in 12 episodes and rarely breaking a sweat. Kind of multi-purpose for the position, but it would be fun to see her as back-up pilot in the off chance.

  36. Tallman755 and I were talking in a chat room, and we decided to come up with the most ineffective Celestial Being possible….

    Exia: Tsukasa (Lucky Star)
    If possible, replace GN Swords with Rice Crackers….

    Dynames: Ikuto (Nagasarete Airantou)
    As Tallman755 puts it, “Ikuto because he was so dumb as to not make Airantou his personal love island, nor even jump Suzu, means he’s obviously incompetent at everything” Plus he would likely manage to shoot Exia in the back….

    Kyrios: Shinji (Evangelion)
    Well, we need someone to fly away….

    Virtue/Nadleeh: Kon (Bleach)
    Because he is a great pilot – when he is in a form that can actually move the mech. With a lack of Ichigo, thats “Not Often”

    Tactiction: Yoshitaka (He is My Master)
    When was the last time you saw one of his plans work that DIDNT involve the little sister somehow being involved?

    Cute Support Mecha: Magikarp (Pokemon)
    karp… karp….. *splash*
    (if I remember right, there is a mechanical Magikarp sub)

    Bridge Bunny: Itsuki (Haruhi Suzumiya)
    … And the Itsuki.

    CC Bridge Bunny: Mako-cakes (Minami-ke)
    Need to have some Minami-ke in here…. And who else but the original costume changer…

    I wonder. Putting Itsuki near Mako-cakes…. would that actually break Mako-cakes more?

    I have another evil idea myself… but that will come once I do some research, and then shoot myself for having to do said research…

  37. I can sort of see why Jason chose Hakuoro over Balalaika. Balalaika’s plans are planned down to the millisecond, whereas Simon makes his decisions on the fly. With these two condlicting ideas, it’s obvious the two would bump heads often and therefore reduce the effectiveness of the team.

    With Hakuoro, his strategies offer more flexibility, which allows Simon a degree of freedom to do his own thing. Besides, CB’s goal is to eradicate war, not war along with everything else.

    Bah, I’m rambling again…

  38. Virtue: Ayato Kamina. Can strop in and kick ass

    Exia: Miss Chidori. Can take Sagara any day up close an personal

    Dynames: Kirika Yumura. Never seen her in or near a mecha but if she can snipe like that with a pistol….

    Kyrios: Bunny Kallen.

    Tactician: Taishi. “Everything happens as I plan, comrades”

    Cute Support Mecha: Chiyo Mihama. Doing her best 4tw.

    Bridge Bunny: Haruka is amazing

    Costume Changing BB: Mikuru

  39. I’m surprised Osaka hasn’t shown up under anyone’s “tactician.” I might have to do another one just to include her.

  40. Virtue: Simon. I think his inclusion in any list is self-explanatory.

    Exia: Jiro “Gai Daigoji is the name of my soul” Yamada from Nadesico. Close combat Gundam needs someone with balls, a memorable name, and an outrageous attitude.

    Dynames: Jigen Daisuke, from Lupin III fame. He’s certainly not much of a pilot from what I’ve seen, but he drives a car well enough and is an awesome shot. Besides, with Cute Support Mecha (see below) he can just leave the piloting to someone else anyway.

    Kyrios: Roy Fokker, necessary in any list of ace pilots, and already quite experienced with transforming mecha similar to Kyrios.

    Tactician: I’d have to agree with Epi and choose Reinhard von Lohengramm from Legends of Galactic Heroes over Yang. I know several people have argued for how great Yang is but quite frankly he doesn’t make the grade for Celestial Being‘s tactician, although strategist seems like a better word. Certainly in a battle Yang is about as talented as Reinhard, but it’s his actions before and after the battle through which Reinhard makes his tactical victories into strategic triumphs, and that’s what a good Celestial Being needs. But I need to stop here before this becomes not “Why Reinhard is the best choice” into “Why Yang is not”.

    Cute Support Mecha: Melfina from Outlaw Star. Very much capable of fulfilling the role in all of its aspects, particularly piloting.

    Bridge Bunny: Tessa from Full Metal Panic

    Bridge Bunny: Haruhi Suzumiya, only because I would be overwhelmingly entertained to see the control conflicts that would inevitably result between Reinhard and Haruhi, and to see how long the galaxy could withstand a partnership between Simon, Gai and Haruhi.

    You could add Costume Change to either of those Bridge Bunnies, I don’t think anyone would complain.

  41. The ‘wildcat schoolgirl’ was also tempting (as a mecha pilot), but ultimately Chiyo’s genius and mobility (pigtail propelled flying) won out

  42. Jasons and Crusaders lists are very well thoughtout and I can not argue with the choices and there logic. But I think everyone is forgetting a proven Costum changing bridge bunny, Konata Izumi from Lucky Star. Think about it she is all about the computer games, her networking is awsome, her job is cosplaying and she knows more about gundum lore then the writers for Sunshire. Hell, she knows so much about gundums she could replace any of the pilots if they get sick or knocked out by a gaint paper fan.

  43. A key component to any Gundam crew is a certain level of dysfunctionality. As such, I’ve made my picks as follows:

    Exia: Young Kenshin Himura, from Samurai X. A expert user of sharp objects combined with a quiet, obedient personality make him a excellent pilot for Exia. Also, his experience at assasination and subterfuge will make him a much better foot operative then Setsuna…

    Dynames: Definitely Sergei Wong from Mai Otome, because we all know what a 1337 sniper he is. He provides that special…level of broken-ness for our Dysfunctionality quotient. As added benefit, he can act as field tactician, using his war experience and viewpoint on the battlefield to make immediate decisions.

    Kyrios: Rena, from Higurashi. I was tempted to place her in Exia to help her get her Stabbyness out but her spirit belongs with Kyrios. She provides plenty of Emo Facial distortion power along with a killer instinct. Possibility of playing with her prey might be a problem though..

    Virtue: Itsuki, Haruhi-ism. Come on! Its a mech with HAIR. I can’t think of anyone better suited to pilot such a flamboyant mech like this then Itsuki. It helps that he can yell FUMOFFU every time he fires his BFG. Also provides plenty of Yaoi pairing potential between Sergei and Kenshin…

    Tactical Leader: Balalaika, Black Lagoon. A evil, calculating bitch that can make the best use of all the insane pilots at her disposal.

    Bridge Bunny 1: Shana, Shakugan no Shana. Because I want a wrathful Loli Tsundere that will give Sergei a hard time in his amorous efforts with underage girls.

    Bridge Bunny 2: Mayu, Goshuushou-sama. Since Balalaika doesn’t serve up in the flotation department like Sumeragi does, I needed a bridge bunny who could do double duty on the Melonpan requirement. Since I already used my Haruhi spot, it of course has to be sweet, vapid Mayu. I hope that Rena doesn’t try to kill her on sight…>.>

    In summary, this is a team that is both broken and yet deadly effective at the same time. Unlike our current crew, who is just broken and largely ineffectual, my pilot choices have real killing ability. My tactician won’t just use information thats handed to her, she’ll blackmail the enemy with it then attack them anyway. The insane chemistry between this group will either result in a wondrous success or spectacular failure. Either way, it’d be great to watch.

  44. I have to chime in at the Yan vs. Rheinhart debate as this one has been raging for last 20 years. In terms of pure tactical decision making, Yan has repeated came out ahead of Rheinhart in head to head match. The trouble is, Yan neither has the political savy or social ambition to make any lasting fundamental change of his situation. So while Yan always prepare to win the next battle, Rheinhart tries his best to lay our lasting foundation of his ideal country. If what you need is a mere fleet admiral who fights and wins the battle you want, choose Yan. If you need the leader of the whole organization to establish dominance and keep order, choose Rheinhart. In other word, you want Rheinhart for president/emperor/supreme commander, and Yan for the Admiral/General, and you also need Kircheis Secretary of State, Kazellnu for Secretary of Treasury, and Leuental for Secretary of Defense.

  45. Tons of awesome personalized Celestial Being here, with most of the good ones already taken (LoGH, etc.). In my attempt, I’m going to go all out female pilots and gender reverse the roles.

    Exia: Triela (GSG) – Most level-headed and most dangerous.
    Dynames: Mana (Negima) – There goes the entire battlefield, plus she’s not weak close-ranged either.
    Kyrios: Makoto (Xenoglossia) – Sorry Haruka, but Makoto’s the most competent pilot in your anime.
    Virtue: Forte (Galaxy Angel) – I had to throw in an Angel in here. Despite being my least favourite Angel, Forte is best suited for heavy artillery.
    Tactician: Lelouch (Code Geass) – Since there are too many Yang Wenlis and Reinhardts, I’ll go for the chessmaster.
    Bridge Rabbit 1: Tamaki (Ouran) – Improves pilot morales.
    Bridge Rabbit 2: Hosaka (Minami-ke) – Stimulation developer???
    Support Role: Angol Mois (Keroro) – All around competent behind-the-scener.

  46. I’m surprised no one has suggested Roger Smith (Big O) as the pilot for Virtue, since he does seem to be suitable for the power-type mecha.

    I’m also surprised that people are putting Kamina/Simon on Virtue rather than the (sorta) flagship Exia. I know they exude manliness and power, but Virtue’s power is different; I can’t imagine them as pure long-range artillery support. Kamina/Simon should be in a mech that affords them the close-range all-out brawls they’re known for. Of course, none of the Gundams fits this trait, but I think if you tune up the Exia for more raw power then Kamina/Simon will fit.

    Also, what’s up with the first pic? That ain’t right…

  47. >Even though he lacks Sumeragi-class melonpan, he has many in his harem who more than makes up for it.

    he should be allowed to take his melonpan harem as crew

    >haruka minami

    her cup should end with *oco instead of coc* to avoid “she’s helping herself to a big heaping cup of coc*.”

  48. I thought of roger smith, but he is like a 3rd string pilot. Big O didn’t do any amazing feats other than stanmd still and show of its big guns.

    I’d take his maid over him…. :-)

  49. Well, my order is something more or less like this :P

    Virtue: Simon (TTGL). That was an obvious choice :P. He has the ability to pilot a versatile mecha (Gurren/GL) so goes on pretty well with Virtue/Nadleeh.

    Exia: Sagara (FMP). Same as above. The guy is skilled with mechas and somehow seems that Exia fits better him than Setsuna :P

    Dynames: Irvine Kinneas (FF8). Someone put a character from Persona, so I’m going with FF8. A guy with no mecha experience but a great sniper who could use Dynames without even locking the tatget. A little playboy but meh.

    Kyrios: Miya-Miya (Bamboo Blade). Another with no mecha experience (I really don’t see too much mecha anime XD), but she has some experience with swords and has a psycho alter ego, which could be useful XD

    Tactician: Lulu (CG). He’s a skilled tactician and I put him before L (my other choice) because if things go wrong, Geass can come in handy :P

    Cute Support Mecha: Maria (Hayate no Gotoku). I think a meido will be great! And Maria is an amazing one. She could even bring some costumes to the Costume Changing BB to wear XD.

    Bridge Bunny: Agree that Haruka is great for the position :P

    Costume Changing BB: Mikuru of course! *evil grin*

  50. I like how people have picked both L and Light-o for tactician, but no one picked N, the one who won the game. I enjoyed most of the lists– creativity and fanboyism overload– but I don’t understand some weird choices, like Urd or Maria for Support Mecha. It’s the Haro-replacement spot! The character should be no larger than 18 inches. Though my favorite choice so far for this spot has been Magikarp… that nearly slayed me when I read it.

    I am disappointed that no one made an all DFC list. I think Yuki was one of the few bridge bunny choices whose bra size did not pierce the heavens. (And I noticed Kyon was the only significant Haruhi Suzumiya character that didn’t make anyone’s list.)

    So I made a Rukia All-Star and DFC list…

    Exia: Rukia (Bleach)… she has a sword, right?
    Virtue: Imouto (Haruhi Suzumiya)… Imouto in a bag!
    Kyrios: Minawa (Mahoromatic)
    Dynames: Louise (Zero no Tsukaima)
    Tactician: Osaka (Azumanga)… idiot savant 4tw! And, honestly, Osaka is probably the only person who could outsmart Hakuoro.
    Support Mecha: Hinaichigo (Rozen Maiden)
    Custom Changing Bridge Bunny: Yin (Darker Than Black)
    Bridge Bunny: Uchida (Minami-ke)

  51. “I like how people have picked both L and Light-o for tactician, but no one picked N, the one who won the game. “
    Dont forget that N said it himself. While he and M alone were not as good as L, together they were better. And there was no picking both.

    Okay. Im going to post that other list idea soon. Expect a (double) post soon…

    NOTE: could you customise the damn wordpress Spam Protection error page to show the content of the post, for those of us who forget to fill it out? Hate having to re-type the post. Always comes out suckier…. didnt I have another joke in this one before?

  52. Im leaving out anime titles. Those who REALLY want to know, can go look it up. Note that two of them are this-season anime. One isnt an anime. And ive watched 5 of the shows….

    Exia: Mizuho-oneesan
    Dynames: Bridget
    Virtue: Jun Watarase
    Kyrios: Hamaji Yakumo

    Tactician: Hibiki Amawa
    Support Mech: Tiny Admiral Ackbar
    Bridge Bunny: Chiharu Kiyohara
    CC Bridge Bunny: Mako-cakes

    I will seriorouly think about paying for the first person to turn that into a picture for people to see….

    Also, I do have reasons for every entry on that list. Well, nearly every entry. (Had to search for someone to fit the Tactition role.) If you really want the reasons, I will post them later. Dont want to damage the laugh factor.

    Finally, for those who do know where all those are from. Well, it doesnt matter. I dont think any of them could reach the end of this post without breaking…

  53. I will seriously think about paying for the first person to turn that into a picture for people to see…

    I’d take you up on that, but it’d take over a week to draw it in color, which would cause Jason to unleash the fury on me again.

    Any other takers?

  54. I thought about this all day. Best (cockpit experienced) team I can come up with (that has not been hammered on by almost everyone) is ..

    Exia ~ Toraji Shiba (Innocent Venus): Excellent strategist and not a bad shot well practiced in sword vs gun combat. He spends his off time plundering.

    Kyrios ~ Maximillian Sterling (Robotech:Macross) : Ace pilot and a pure genius all around, and to top it off he is humble about it and great to be around. He spends his off time “investigating” alien females and playing video games.

    Dynames ~ Yoko (Gurren Lagann) :Even tho she could make a great bridge bunny, her assets are best used in the field. In combat she basicly doesn’t miss even without aiming assistance and has the skill to take out a mech on foot with the correct rifle. She spends her off time teaching lil kids to shoot guns and giving heroes there dieing wish.

    Virtue ~ Roger Smith (Big O) : With his experience with big guns and big slow mechs Virtue is an ok pick, and I don’t see any real personality conflicts between him and his field companions. He brings some mental dysfunction to this totally professional team with his lack of memory and hallucinations. Spends his spare time asking questions that will eventually get everyone into trouble and dressing up dolls in maid outfits.

    Tactician: Niijima Haruo (Shijō Saikyō no Deshi Kenichi) : Basicly the team leads itself. Niijima is just there to totally break the enemys who have already been defeated.

    Support Mecha: Konata Izumi (Lucky Star) :Kicks ass. Takes names. Runs home to play video games.In her off time she is owning Max at video games.

    Bunny: Yuki Nagato (Haruhi) : She is in your terminal, pwning your data.In her off time no one really knows what she is up to, but she is most likely in your terminal pwning your data..

    Bunny: Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Tivrusky IV (Cowboy Bebop) :To take the credit for finding things that Nagato noticed first. And to notice the things that she didn’t. In her free time she is exploring the ship, or so she says, she is most likely in your terminal pwning your data.

  55. New theme: psycho squad. Should pack a lot of facial distortion and a high likelihood of destroying not only their enemies but anything else remotely near them.

    Pilot of Virtue: Khyron (the Backstabber/the Destroyer. His preferred tactics are ‘friendly fire’ ‘suicide attacks’ and ‘snort more protocrack’ but wreaks even more havoc on the enemy. Just the man I wanted for my #1 spot)
    Pilot of Exia: Dilandau (puts the ‘gender-bending pyromaniac’ back in ‘crazy’)
    Pilot of Dynames: Gates (Mr. Kalium. I shouldn’t need to explain why to anyone who’s seen TSR, and I’m not sure I could to anyone else.)
    Pilot of Kyrios: Anemone (I’m pretty sure the whole squad either requires medication or swipes it now)

    Tactician: Luca Blight (Genocidal Prince of Highland, completely ruthless butcher of men, famed as the most physically powerful and insanely determined man and most feared general in the Suikoden universe. Balalaika fits the role well too, of course, but with the number of picks she’s already gotten Blight was an easy choice)

    Cute Support Mecha: Reinforce Ein (useful as a supercomputer, eye-candy, and a hidden superweapon. More emo than psycho but I’m working within my limited exposure to sci-fi anime here…)

    Bridge Bunny: Asakura Ryoko (information processing with that psychotic edge)

    Costume-changing Bridge Bunny: Kohaku (Melty Blood edition. Only crazy but competent costume-wearer I could think of on short notice)

    Executive Officer ( Tactician’s aide ): Teresa Testarotha from Full metal panic : A real fan-service machine who happens to be smart enough to be of help to Yan Wen Li

    Chief Mechanic: Jail Scaglietti. He isn’t quite Washuu, but he brings even more facial distortion to my team. Plus between his cyborgs and Gates’ twins Psycho Celestial Being has quite the infantry commando team at its disposal.

  56. Crap copy-pasted and forgot to change the Executive Officer. Probably need someone more coldly calculating to balance out Blight’s self-indulgent evil, and need to be able to accept a subordinate position…

    Part of me just wants to say ‘to hell with it’ and choose Pram the Oracle, but I think I’m going to go with Nagi from Mai whatever. He’s been recommended to me.

  57. Okay, I had to do this one: The Itsuki/”Just shoot me, there’s no way there’s a…..” Team:

    Exia: Suzaku, from Code Geass
    Virtue: Nekomimi Hayate, from Hayate Combat Butler
    Dynames: Hansel or Gretal (or both: one pilots the other aims) from Black Lagoon
    Kyrios: Oboro, from Utawarerumono
    Cute Support Mecha: Mizuho from Otome wa Boku
    Tactician: Itsuki from Suzumiya Haruhi
    Costume Changing Bridge Bunny: Mako-Cakes, Minami-Ke
    Bridge Bunny: Jun, from Happiness or Kei, from Moyashimon

    I almost included Dilandau ’till he I realized he was, in fact, a she, making her/him a reverse trap. Kept Hansel/Gretal in because it’s never specifically stated that either is a girl, even if we hope they both are.

  58. Celestial Being (Kids Edition)

    Exia: Fuyuki (Minami-ke)
    Kyrios: Phil (Little Snow Fairy Sugar)
    Dynames: Hare (Hare+Guu)
    Virtue: Sunao (Potemayo)

    Support Mecha: Puchiko (Di Gi Charat)
    Tactician: Grace (Hanaukyo Maid Team)
    Bridge Bunny: Matsuri (Strawberry Marshmallow)
    Bridge Bunny: Yurie (Kamichu)

    Maids: 1
    Superpowers: 2
    Nekomimi: 2
    Eyeglasses: 4
    Cross-Dressing Experience: 2
    J.C.Staff: 2
    Actual Mecha Piloting Experience: 2
    Shotas: 4
    Lolis: 4

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