presidential cabinet a la carte
Categories: anime
Tagged: clannad:sanae, haruhi suzumiya:yuki, moe:broken, moe:nekomimi meido, sayonara zetsubou sensei
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Forming a presidential cabinet is easy, but forming a good one is a very tough task indeed. Here’s some help and suggestions for our new democratic overlords.
(Thought the NBA version was a good idea… so why not?)
Chief of Staff: Maria, Hayate the Combat Butler. The Chief of Staff’s job is to organize the White House and make sure things get done. Uh, doesn’t that fit Maria to a tee? While Maria isn’t the lipstick-wearing pitbull that Rahm Emanuel is, she gets things done in her own way. I mean… can you really go against that smile and service? As a bonus, she makes fantastic tea. (And, yes, I fully endorse a pool table and a hot spring inside the White House.)
Secretary of State: Yuki Nagato, Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. The thought of Putin or Ahmadinejad talking to Yuki while she glares back with those deep eyes just kills me. She’d be fantastic just because she’s a great listener, well-versed, 100& loyal, has experience with dealing with other life forms, and always gets the job done.
Secretary of the Treasury: Itoshiki Nozomu, YES WE CAN DESPAIR!. Given the current state of the US economy, whomever takes this office must be well-versed in despair.
Secretary of Defense: Kogarashi, Kamen no Maid Guy. Easiest choice ever. What’s good enough for Naeka’s boobs is good enough for America. Honestly, with Kogarashi around, does the country even need an army anymore? I say “no.” It’ll save billions.
Attorney General: Kenshin Himura, Kenshin. Incorruptible with a strong sense of justice… but I just want to be specific that I’m talking about TV seasons 1 and 2 Kenshin and not the “2008-9 Shaq” Kenshin that starred in Reflections.
Secretary of the Interior: Alpha Hatsuseno, Yokohama Kaidashi Kikou. She has real appreciation for the gentle beauty around us. Alpha narrowly edges out Lina Inverse… if Lina cast Dragon Slave on that national forest, it was only because she loved it too much.
Secretary of Agriculture: Sawaki Tadayasu, Moyashimon. Second easiest choice. He just has the natural gift for it, and if his staff includes traps and s&m lesbians, who am I to judge?
Secretary of Commerce: Horo, Spice and Wolf. I think she knows something about trade… horo~n!
Secretary of Labor: Sunrise Inc.. I’m counting on their ability to bring people back from the dead to help even the population advantage China and India has on the US. Also, bringing back people like Einstein, Feynman, Gershwin, and Michael Crichton can only bolster’s America lead in science, technology, and arts.
Secretary of Transportation: Haruka Minami, Minami-ke. I’m not sure if I should go with the “flotation devices” joke or the “driving drunk” joke. Oh screw it, I’m just going to go with a “the number of crossdressers riding BART with increase” joke.
Secretary of Energy: Simon, Gurren Lagann. Spiral energy is even better than solar, wind, and cold fusion put together!
Secretary of Education: Sanae Furukawa, Clannad. At least all the boys 11-18 will be paying attention in class again.
Secretary of Homeland Security: Takumi Nishijou, Chaos;Head. Paranoia is a good… no… excellent trait for Homeland Security Czar. Seems to have a nice wai-fu too…
(And in case if you’re wondering, my VP pick would have been Tomoyo. You betcha!)
28 Responses to “presidential cabinet a la carte”
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if only dreams could come true……… and then turn into nightmares as the world implodes from too much awesome.
“Secretary of Labor: Sunrise Inc.. I’m counting on their ability to bring people back from the dead to help even the population advantage China and India has on the US.”
LOL!!! 10 points to you because you some how sqeeze them sunrise in!
(wait doesn’t sunrise inc is more then one person?!! so that is impossible for them to take the job)
What ’bout the Supreme Court?
Brilliant!
I fail at using backquote. I meant to quote this:
“Secretary of the Treasury: Itoshiki Nozomu, YES WE CAN DESPAIR!. Given the current state of the US economy, whomever takes this office must be well-versed in despair. ”
Brilliant!
“Secretary of Energy: Simon, Gurren Lagann. Spiral energy is even better than solar, wind, and cold fusion put together!”
But wouldn’t that cause constant surges and explosions everytime Simon gets overexcited? And if he, y’know, started some drill action with Nia, the entire country would be destroyed!
>>>(wait doesn’t sunrise inc is more then one person?!! so that is impossible for them to take the job)
2 words. Hajime Yatate.
There. Now you can have your hivemind.
“Secretary of Commerce: Horo, Spice and Wolf. I think she knows something about trade… horo~n!”
Excellent choice. but i think she’ll bug Secretary of Agriculture: Sawaki Tadayasu to start multiple apple and peach farms.
“Secretary of Energy: Simon, Gurren Lagann. Spiral energy is even better than solar, wind, and cold fusion put together!”
Well, since spiral energy is based on your fighting spirit… one could get McCain to be a generator. Never say die!
Secretary of Labor :
I would say Hiruma Youichi
Secretary of the Treasury: I’d go with space pirate Ryoko. Dose she do any work? no. yet she always has beer money. As an added bonus when a large failing cooperation tries to send their monies to an off shore bank account she can just go steal it back.
Oh and can Kogarashi still do press secretary as well?
Wow, the sheer awesomeness of that cabinet is unbelievable.
>>Excellent choice. but i think she’ll bug Secretary of Agriculture: Sawaki Tadayasu to start multiple apple and peach farms.
What’s wrong with that? Delicious apples and peaches for everyone, along with multiple jobs and a step towards further agricultural independence. I agree.
Now all we have to do is make sure none of these candidates end up married to Japanese citizens. It could really harm their chances at appointment if they’re found associating with non-american citizens.
That would convince me to join the democrats right there….. but if we bring back Einstein then he could create a time machine. Thats a bad thing and anybody who’s ever played a Red Alert game will tell you.
I wholly endorse these nominations!
>> “Oh and can Kogarashi still do press secretary as well?”
I can already see it… “Kukuku. What a crappy question from a third-rate newsrag. My encyclopedic knowledge will not be wasted on answering that. Next!”
Fubuki could be Secretary of Meidos, “A chicken in every pot and a Meido in every house”
floatation devices
we can ride on em.
Perfect choices. I’d add
Secretary of Health and Human Services: Fran, Frankenfran.
I would happily support that in any way I could, though I think Bright Noa would be an excellent serious Secretary of Defense.
Secretary of Transportation is the only one I think could have someone better in charge since anime has a wide array of weird transportation gizmos. However, I can’t think of anyone whose specialty are transportation devices. Anyone?
I approve of this list. But I say we include Schneizel or Clovis somewhere in there just to up the fabulous, you know, to bolster America’s popularity.
Clovis could be the UN Ambassador.
Secretary of Labour: Onimaru Miki. She will make sure thing are done in a timely and effective manner with a whip and a grin. Anybody who disagrees would be met with some Onimaru-ryuu skills.
Secretary of Transportation: Kururu. Natsumi powersuits for everyone.
Kukuku, we don’t need a nuclear program, Maid Guy is all the WMD you need.
Weapons of Meido Destruction btw. In case you were a little slow on the uptake.
Well, those cast would create either Utopia or Netherworld.
Ryoko was treasury secretary would be bad, she would spend all the budget on sake. Course, you wouldn’t have to worry about trillion dollar corporate bailouts because she has already robbed the treasury of that and left with Tenchi tied up in Ryo-Oki. On that note, lets make Ryo-Oki head of the defense dept, she can take out just about anybody
they’d probably be too concerned with their own lives to care about the rest of the country’s…
Secretary of the Treasury: Itoshiki Nozomu
i sort of question that appointee, I think you would actually need Kaufka for such a depressing task. That way she can spin it around and convince investors that debt and recession are like imaginary problems that will go away with happy thoughts… and alot of spending.
And you know 1 of two things would happen, either the biggest world depression ever, or record highs in financial profits. because nothing subtle happens at the result anything faufka does or says.
And for Itoshki i say we make a cabinet position, Director of Mental health, something with irony and poetic justice.