the book of itoshiki, chapter 26

Today we read and learn from the Book of Itoshiki. We continue along our path of despair, for he is the one true despair.

(One anime character is repeated twice in this montage. Did you notice who? And is it sad that I recognized 3/4th of the characters, or is it sad that I only recognized 3/4th of the characters?)

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Verse 1: “Beware the honey trap.”

The standard honey trap is so 2006…

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…welcome to the new reality.

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Verse 2: “A battle that is not aired is much more fierce than one that is!”

There’s a lot that goes in behind the scenes of this blog that the reader does not see. One might think, “Well, it’s just a stupid little anime blog. The most he probably puts up with is dealing with comment spam and server load issues.” That’s not true. There’s many fierce battles raging behind the scenes that aren’t seen on the public face of this blog. For example:

– My fierce drug and painkiller problem. I do more coke than Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston combined, and I have a frequent treatment card for the Betty Ford clinic. It all stems from the injury I sustained when I spilled coffee on myself during a Code Geass R2 post for this blog, and the painkillers that I was originally hooked on because of it. It doesn’t even cover my raging alcoholism or my addiction to Megami Magazine.

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– I actually prefer a Nagato-class chest compared to a Mikuru-class one. It’s been a fierce battle trying to type otherwise. The melonpan is a lie.

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– My fierce behind-the-scenes lobbying to become Obama’s Secretary of Meido. So far I’ve framed people for murder and blackmailed others with incriminating evidence of their love for miko. Yet, I feel no shame or remorse.

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– This blog is actually a joint effort by many multinational corporations, each with their own self-serving interests: Kyoto Animation, Shaft, Warner Bros., Apple, Caterpillar, Eddie Bauer, Heineken, China Mobile, Vivid Video, Dunder Mifflin Paper Company, and Ringling Bros. Circus. Each and every day, these powerful multinationals fiercely fight over if the next post will be “gundam s2 00 6,” “lucky star ona,” or “stuff anime fanboys like #81: writing anime blogs.”

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Verse 3: “Things that don’t hold true to the original.”

I liked “Taiga” better when she was called “Shana.”

I liked “Marina” better when she was called “Relena.”

I liked “Obama” better when he was called “The Black FDR.”

I liked “Casshern Sins” better when it was called “A Non-Trippy Kaiba.”

I liked “Mr Bushido” better when he was called “Fuko Ibuki.”

I liked “Hinagiku” better when she was called “Utena.”

I liked “Xam’d” better when it was called “Eureka 7.”

I liked “Yuichi Aizawa” better when he was called “Kyon.” Or was it the other way around? Or was it “Kyonko”? I’m confused now…

I liked “Derailed by Darry” better when it was called “I Once Loved a Minami Sister.”

I liked “Louise” better when she was called “Shana.”

28 Responses to “the book of itoshiki, chapter 26”

  1. What?

  2. I liked “Derailed by Darry” better when it was called “Anime on My Mind”

  3. I liked Jason better when he wasn’t obsessed with traps.

  4. I liked “Derailed by Darry” when I constantly got bashed with traps and kyonko.

  5. Actually, u can still search for “aomm” in google, and this is still the top hit.

  6. I still like DbD.

    But it needs moar GAR & melonpan/delicious thighmeat.

  7. I liked Jason better when he liked melonpan, meido, and bunnygirls.

  8. Wow, I only recognized less than half of the characters in the montage. I feel ashamed.

  9. That…picture there. I just couldn’t tear my eyes away, it … I’m …

    …so beautiful.

    Anybody else know where it comes from? I … I think I’m in love.

  10. DESPAIR…THE FACT THAT I CAN ONLY RECOGNIZE 3/4 OF THE CAMEO CHARACTERS IN THE FIRST PIC HAS PUT MR INTO DESPAIR!!!!

    *sniff* I feel so ashamed of myself…

  11. It’s from the Goku Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei OVA. And I liked this blog better when Kyonko or traps weren’t the content of every post or every second post. He may as well rename it ‘Broken by Kyonko’.

  12. I liked DbD better when it involved more traps.

  13. I liked SHAFT better when it was called psychotropics.

    >>I liked “Derailed by Darry” better when it was called “Anime on My Mind”
    I liked “Anime on My Mind” better when it was called “Toybox”.

    >>I liked Jason better when he wasn’t obsessed with traps.
    He’s doing a public service by raising trap awareness. I daresay the readers of this blog are far better equipped than the average person to identify and properly respond to the traps they encounter. For this he should be praised, not panned.

  14. >>I daresay the readers of this blog are far better equipped than the average person to identify and properly respond to the traps they encounter.
    My response is raep.

    I’m not sure if that was jason’s primary intention.
    I do know that it is enjoyable.

  15. You’re right Jaosn. The drugs ARE getting to you.

  16. Giant Humanoid Robot: He’s doing a public service by raising trap awareness. I daresay the readers of this blog are far better equipped than the average person to identify and properly respond to the traps they encounter. For this he should be praised, not panned.

    … this is the guy who coined the phrase ‘I don’t care anymore. There’s no way there’s a penis there. None. I just won’t accept it’. If this is a proper response, then I need to steer you towards the yaoi section of the anime/manga store. ;)

    daninae: I liked DbD better when it involved more traps.

    Ah, you must’ve come in during the OtoBoku period, before we went from traps to Kyonko every second post.

  17. I like Tieria Erde better when he was called “Zetsubou Sensei.”

    I like Code Geass better when it was called “Utawarerumono.”

    I like Dubbed Mei Sunohara better when he was called “Mako Cakes.”

    I like DWill and Carlos Boozer better when they were called “Stockton
    and Malone.”

    I like Kobe Bryant better when he was called “MJ.”

  18. Why do DbD sound like a rori trying to buy DVD?

  19. >>… this is the guy who coined the phrase ‘I don’t care anymore. There’s no way there’s a penis there. None. I just won’t accept it’.

    But that’s exactly what I mean. Serving as a warning sign in a “Abandon all hope ye who would follow this path” kinda way.

  20. Is anyone else concerned about the possible side effects of overexposure to a constant bombardment of stimulating, gender-confused imagery? At what point do you wake up wearing a sundress? When you get your end-of-year bonus, will you be thinking, “Yes! Now I can get that skirt!”?

  21. Niles: Is anyone else concerned about the possible side effects of overexposure to a constant bombardment of stimulating, gender-confused imagery? At what point do you wake up wearing a sundress? When you get your end-of-year bonus, will you be thinking, “Yes! Now I can get that skirt!”?

    So, I take it you got ‘Mako-cakes’ as the result of a Minami-ke personality test? ;)

  22. Mikos for McCain

  23. The only character I can’t for the life of me identify is the girl in the gray clothing on the bottom right of the picture…

    That, and I don’t quite understand the connection between Mr. Bushido and douzo starfish-chan…

  24. I like Code Geass better when it was called “Utawarerumono.”

    Wait, what? As far as I can tell, the connection between Code Geass and Utawarerumono is tenuous, at best.

    That, and I don’t quite understand the connection between Mr. Bushido and douzo starfish-chan…

    He’s trollin’. Graham Aker != Fuuko. Graham Aker == Tomoya.

  25. I love how they mentioned Moetan episode 6 with the unaired things. Fits in too well.

  26. I liked the empress wheel-chair loli better when she was called “blind wheel-chair loli”.

  27. I liked DbD better when the author, and not the commenters, was the main source of the humor and fun.

    I liked AoMM better when it had basketball references that I didn’t quite get but made me laugh.

    I liked the world better when 9/11 wasn’t a significant date.

  28. I like Shana now that she’s called Taiga

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