what are you not watching this weekend?

Categories: anime


The Miami Heat of anime lineups.

(Image from reader bravejaf.)

I hope you realized it’s a fake by seeing Nadesico on it. That’s just cruel. Not as cruel as LeBron discarding Cleveland on an hour long national TV special, but cruel. Sad that most of these are remakes, and it’s missing GTO. WTF. GTO leads any discussion about remakes, just like how Sword Art Online should be on this list. It’s the John Wall to Franken Fran‘s Paul George. Yandere Kanojo, Hozuki-san Chi no Aneki, and Bokko would be in the Greg Monroe range. Girlfriend X and DMW… blah.

But, you know what, the #1 remake should be… LeBron’s special. God damn, that was just awful. Did you see that wall of Vitaminwater? In less than an hour, I saw the once most beloved NBA player turn into the most hated. Now that’s impressive. Big Bird could run over Elmo, and the backlash wouldn’t be this great.

He has every right to change teams, but doing it as an hour long special was just cruel and heartless. It’s even more heartless considering that another star did it right. Kevin Durant managed to do everything right that LeBron did wrong. Why is that? Maybe because Durant has good people working for him, not yes-men and con-men like Maverick Carter.

And LeBron wasn’t the only one to have a brain fart that day. Dan Gilbert had a perfect chance to take the high road and earn a shit-ton of sympathy from people. Writing an incoherent, babbling hate letter to LeBron in Comic Sans font? Does not accomplish anything except put you in the mud with him. I’m glad Wojnarowaski and others have been eviscerating both him and LeBron. They both deserve it.

(Though it completely slipped my mind and I should have retweeted it except I was too busy ripping on LeBron, the best tweet I saw was something that went like, “This LeBron special is like hardcore pr0n. Enough of the foreplay. We want the penetration!”)

Look, I understand the NBA is about business. But business is about being professional. As a professional, you do not humiliate others in front of millions. You do not throw a tantrum when things don’t go your way. What is being professional? Respecting others. Too bad neither LeBron nor Dan Gilbert realized this. Neither were professional. Neither were about business. Both were about their egos.

I’m sick of it. I would be out on the NBA, except for every idiot like LeBron out there, there’s a Durant. Love how he’s sticking with the Thunder and trying to build a championship team the right way. There’s also players like Billups, Mutombo, and Duncan who give back to their community and actually act like role models. I’m rooting for all of them to beat you, LeBron.

(Wait, how’d this become an anti-LeBron post? If you told me a year ago that LeBron would make me rank him below Shinn Asuka, Ivan Drago, and BP, I would not have believed you.)

(Honestly, I’m tired as heck, and it just caused me to think of the ultimate parallel: LeBron, Wade, and Bosh just made most of the NBA world root against them. Congrats. You are Celestial Being. That’s the perfect nickname for you.)

41 Responses to “what are you not watching this weekend?”

  1. Definitely wishlisting. I mean, I would love to see Yotsuba&!!, but Lucifer and the Biscuit Hammer? Seriously?

  2. Jason, you know ya boy gotta eat. You know ya boy need rings. Why you gotta hate?! I’m just tryin’ to get mine, and dammit if it takes an hour long special then thats what i gotta do. I could feel you ya know. I feel where you comin’ from. What I don’t feel is you comparing me to Shinn Asuka.
    For shame Jason.
    For shame.

  3. I would love to see a Phoenix Wright anime, but whoever made this, made the stupid mistake of using the logo with Phoenix Wright on it instead of Gykuten Saiban, which is what it’s called in Japan.

  4. Haha, FMP 4 based “off the last 6 volumes”? There’s an even more compressed show than Angel Beats!

    And for a list full of fakes I can’t help but despair a little that Mysterious Girlfriend X, Onanie Master Kurosawa and Houkago Play are actually all real mangas.

    The Very Hungry Caterpillar by P.A works had to be a lie too, only Kyoani could spin out an 8 page book into a 25-40 minute OVA.

  5. Why are you showing sympathy towards Cleveland? Years of that man being with them and this is how they see him off? Burning jerseys and bad mouthing him. I’m sure the guy feels good knowing he left such a place.

  6. I’m OK with this. Makes me feel less guilty about rooting for the Magic.

  7. >>”This LeBron special is like hardcore pr0n. Enough of the foreplay. We want the penetration!”

    you sure this person wasn’t a reader? Because it sure as hell sounds like they were.

    All that’s needed now is a lulu joke and that’d settle it.

  8. Who the fuck is Dan Gilbert?

    Anyway, so I guess the NBA cooks up this hour-long auto-fellatio session on the assumption that if they give us a finals where we hate both teams instead of just one of them, someone who isn’t wearing yellow and purple or (the colors of whoever Kobe’s contractually-designated victim is this year) might just watch. That little bitch fit LeBron threw last year during the playoffs (or was it the year before…I can’t be arsed to keep track…) was just to see if people would buy it coming from him. Well, I got sad news for David Stern. They could resurrect Hitler and put him on the Heat with LeBron, the “God Hates Fags” guy, and Osama bin Ladin, and even the people who do buy it would still cheer for them if they’re facing the Lakers in the finals. That’s if they could be bothered to give a shit, since even they know they’ll never win. The NBA could hire Vince McMahon as the commissioner, and it would only make them appear more reputable…

    Anyway, back to anime… I’m pissed at you now… I saw “The Lucifer and Biscuit Hammer” and “Gainax” before I realized it was fake, and now I need to clean out my keyboard…

    So…Mitsudomoe 2 post where?

  9. In what universe does a dream lineup of anime actually have Satelight animating anything, much less Deadman Wonderland? They’re a crapshoot, and I will never forgive what they’ve done to Fairy Tail (even if they also did a fantastic job on Hellsing Ultimate). DW would clearly be Bones or Gainax in my mind.

    I’m not happy with the “Cancelled” over the Bakemonogatari either. Love the thought of somebody doing Lucifer and the Biscuit Hammer; no Yandere Kanojo though? From what I’ve seen, 4Koma gag mangas make awesome animes.

  10. Not just a touhou anime, but a bkub anime, god what a world that would be.

  11. NOoooooooooooooooooooooo! Yotsuuuuuuuubaaaaaaaaaaaaatoooooooooooo!
    I’ve been trolled!
    I was so looking forward to that already! I was even thinking – hey, I can watch that with my 3 yr old. (There’s a surprising lack of watchable age appropriate anime for kids her age.)

    By the time I noticed Nadesico, I realized this was oh so terribly unlikely.
    *le sigh*

  12. This is fake? Ah, crap. I was looking forward to “The Very Hungry Caterpillar OVA.” I’d take that over “Mayoi Neko Overrun” any day of the week.


  14. Not even in wishlists do we get more Bakemonogatari? brb killing myself.
    Also, I don’t know much about the NBA, but the Lebron thing seems to have taken all the media attention, even outside the US. All I know is that the Heat will see a tremendous amount of pressure from now on. Winning won’t be enough, I guess. They’ll have to utterly destroy the opposition.
    Anyway, no Bakemonogatari? I MAD
    Finally, supercell is in charge of the ending song for the new TYPE-MOON vn. Which is simply awesome.

  15. That joke description for Bakemonogatari has really enlightened me. I realize that joke’s been around for a while but this is the first I’ve read it. Anyway, the only way this lineup can become true is if we shove it into each listed producer’s face and hope for them to have epiphanies.

  16. I was going nuts when I first saw that pic last week. By the time I got to P4, I realized it had to be fake.

  17. That’s too cruel. Why can’t this actually happen? I’d be watching 21 shows….instead of trying to pretend most new anime doesn’t exist.

  18. Given that this list is missing actual fall shows I’m looking forward to, such as TWGOK, this hardly looks like a “dream” lineup for fall.

  19. Phoenix Wright :(

  20. Every single time I see Pokemon Special up on that list, I’d just want to take a razor and slash myself like some emo girl on drugs.

  21. Nadesico…. that is just cruel jason.

  22. If they ever make an animated sequel of Baccano! I just hope they don’t choose a lame name like Baccano2, you can’t even see the “!”.

  23. Then who would be Graham, Sergei, and Patrick?

  24. Glad you asked. Graham is Kobe. Patrick is Artest. Sergei is Pau Gasol, complete with the bo.

  25. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Why would they make Yotsubato! into an anime?! Making this into an anime is like how xxxHOLiC isn’t supposed to be an anime, but they did it anyway… and it was epic fail.

    If Yotsubato turns out to be epic fail, I’m flying to Japan to kick major ass.

  26. Well, I certainly won’t be watching Sock Monkey Loves You. The pilot OVA was just atrocious. Complete disregard for the source material. Made KyoAni’s Endless Eight seem like a masterwork adaptation by comparison.

  27. Pokemon Special? But… fake?! Blah… now, why’d you have to put this up, for?

  28. I realized the troll the instant my eyes spotted Chen. Then I saw Berserk, Vinland Saga AND JoJo part 4. Fuck you, reality, Fuck you.

  29. I would kill for a Claymore reboot that did something similar to recent FMA. It would be even better if remake was handled by Madhouse.

  30. Mysterious Girlfriend X and SHAFT would be a spectacle to behold.
    That and P.A. works The very hungry Caterpillar. That would be epic.

  31. Man, I’m more turned down seeing that it is a fake than when a certain someone was ready for penetration and she freaked out on the preamble of it, then canceled the whole deal and sent me straight to hell. What’s up with that!

  32. Nooo…Phoenix wright : (
    Got my hopes up and all

  33. If we the Heat are celestial being and Lebron is the Setsuna, are the Clippers Katharon?

  34. ITT: Shows people who give their livers for.

  35. It’s a shame that list just a troll

  36. I don’t give two bits on everything else on that list, I want a continuation of Berserk, JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, and FMP!.

  37. oh god I saw FMP and got really happy and then I realized it was a fake and got really sad…

    as for the lebronathon, I thought the whole thing was pretty disturbing and frankly I’m a little confused as to how the heat are going to even make it out of the first round, the east got a lot stronger and there’s a shortage of big men so they’re all getting ridiculous money, even Haslem is supposedly getting offered 20mil

    you’re not going to win anything if you’re relying on a lebron help-d block for interior defense…

  38. Why is Durant brought up in this discussion? I know everyone wants to cast him as the anti-Bron right now, but Durant most certainly didn’t “do it right”. He reworked and extended his rookie deal, every high-profile draft pick does that (even the supervillain trio did when they got to the fourth year of their rookie contracts). It’s simply the smart thing to do after three years of service if you are a player that deserves max money. Hopefully Durant turns out to be the a superhero that vanquishes the Scoundrels of South Beach, but nothing he did on that day points to it happening.

    Also, why is everyone so freaking pissed. Lebron is dumb, childish, and lazy. Nothing I saw on the special was particularly vindictive or purposely hurtful. If he were announcing that he was going to sign with Dallas, would everyone be so pissed (doubt it).?

    Now, can we get a post on what the Mavericks will be doing with Dampier’s expiring contract. Al Jefferson anyone?

  39. I hope you realized it’s a fake by seeing Nadesico on it.

    What…Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure wasn’t enough of a giveaway? LOL

    Mysterious Girlfriend X and SHAFT would be a spectacle to behold.
    That and P.A. works The very hungry Caterpillar. That would be epic.

    Yes indeed!! Mysterious Girlfriend X and Shaft would be a walkoff grand slam. I love the Mysterious Girlfriend X manga…it would make a cool anime.

    As for The Very Hungry Caterpillar…I’m quite sure that would be at ALMOST as epic as Dogtato-Kun

  40. Oh, the Thunder….I remember when they were the SuperSonics….but they’re still my team. Hoorah Durant, make them champs!

  41. aw…I wish that list was real. I’m still waiting for a 12 Kingdoms continuation, but that probably will never happen.

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