top ten things wrong with star driver

… yet I can’t stop watching.

10. Sugata’s meido are hardly ever in meido fuku nor do anything. Why have combat meido if they don’t do meido things or do combat things? At the very least, have a “night service” scene. Just a waste.

(Mitigating factor: At least they are meido in this anime.)


9. Female members of Kiraboshi dress like participants of an Eyes Wide Shut orgy. The outfits just seem so over-the-top ridiculous and uncomfortable that they only way they would be acceptable is for a high class drug-fueled orgy. Which I’m sure every Kiraboshi meeting is right after the camera cuts away from their scheming to defeat Tauburn.

(Mitigating factor: Wait, this is something wrong with this show? I demand masks and scantily clad costumes for all my evil anime organizations. At the very least, can you imagine Pokemon if Satoshi and Pikachu had to duel evil gym members modeled after the female roster of Kiraboshi? Yes. Yes, please.)


8. Why not kill Takuto? Why does Kiraboshi keep trying to defeat Tauburn when they can just hire and sniper and off Takuto? Or plant a car bomb? Or poison him? They have a major advantage in that they know his real identity… exploit it! Why do I get the feeling that Kiraboshi is made up of veterans from Enron, Lehman Brothers, and Circuit City?

(Mitigating factor: We get to see more and more ridiculous lairs that Kiraboshi meet in. Sinister looking conference table not enough? Add in a rotating platform a la Orenge-sama and a lounge room to play darts, the Kiraboshi manor could eventually become a Vegas casino.)


7. Plot points that rip off Calvin and Hobbes. Wait, was Marino real? Or just a real figment of Mizuno’s imagination? Is Marino like the Hobbes to Mizuno’s Calvin? Or more like Fight Club where Mizuno just had an epic case of multiple personality syndrome? What was going on? Why make this even more confusing than it needs to be?

(Mitigating factor: The episode where Mizuno desperately tries to get off the island and can’t… one of the greatest episodes of Star Driver. Just the right amount of plot, intrigue, and suspense… and… uh… only episode until then to not feature Takuto apprivoising Tauburn.)


6. Really a magical girl show. When Bones puts more effort into animating Takuto’s magical galactic pretty boy sequence than Shaft does into Sakaya’s transformation sequence, you know something is not right in the world. Why does Takuto’s hair need highlights in magical galactic pretty boy mode anyway?

(Mitigating factor: Takuto is the greatest magical girl since Nanoha. Just shows how we’re in such a magical girl drought… enjoy this golden age for tsundere because I get the feeling a few years from now, they’ll be as rare as a worthwhile Myspace page. Also enjoying the jargon of this show… Kiraboshi? Apprivoise? Piles? Third Phase? Zero Jikan? Libido? Galactic Pretty Boy? )


5. Too much yaoi undertones between Sugata and Takuto. At times, I think the love triangle is Sugata and Wako being in with Takuto. Just for a show featuring so many potential haremettes, why do they need to add in homoerotic overtones? Like every Takuto bathing with Sugata scene. Why do they need to bathe together? All the time?!

(Mitigating factor: Adding in homoerotic overtones despite the abundance of melonpan worked very well for Code Geass and Gundam.)


4. Takuto has no personality. Dude is a complete zero. He’s not gar like Simon. He’s not wussy like Shinji. He’s not snide like Kyon. He’s not perverted like Tomoki. He’s not reliable as Tomoya. He’s not as memorable as Jiro Yamada. He’s not smooth like Keima. He’s not conflicted as Mako-cakes. What does he have? Takuto has zero personality… maybe a back story not ripped off from The Promised Place in Our Early Days would have helped.

(Mitigating factor: He is the Galactic Pretty Boy. So he has that going for him.)


3. Characters are introduced and removed like pr0n stars from Charlie Sheen’s hotel room. Just lost track of characters coming and going. Sigh. I am not making a fucking flowchart for this show.

(Mitigating factor: More characters = more ridiculously whorishly clad members of Kiraboshi.)


2. Battles are completely uninteresting. Every battle involves either Sugata raising his hand (which he does once in a while, and once in a while works) or Takuto pulling out a victory from his ass. No, seriously, I’ve seen less convoluted battles in the WWE. Just ridiculous with no semblance of flow. Battles thus far in Madoka just seem so much more interesting.

(Mitigating factor: I like how Third Phase Tauburn no longer walks but… rollerblades!!! Needless to say, I can’t wait for Fourth Phase Tauburn start sky surfing.)


1. World and rules of the world seems made up as things go along. I have no clue how the phases work except that they’re just huge euphemisms for the virginity of the island maidens.

(Mitigating factor: Good to see Haruhi Suzumiya get some directing experience before she moves on to direct the next Gundam franchise reboot.)

12 Responses to “top ten things wrong with star driver”

  1. I’ll agree with you on all of those points. Not really much to add. Although, there are a few particular things that still annoy me.

    The fights, they’re good an all, like animation wise and all that, but they always ALWAYS play out “Takuto gets kinda beat up, Takuto 1 shot kills enemy Cybody (with new power or otherwise)”-rinse and repeat. Probably the best two fights were him against Sugata and him against Kanako, they were interesting and had actual tension.

    The most annoying thing for me, is when Tauburn comes in. It’s the same animation – THE EXACT SAME ANIMATION – come on Bones.

    Also, Takuto’s Obfuscating Stupidity is getting under my skin. I really liked it in the first episode how he didn’t “stumble into the cockpit” of Tauburn, and showed that he knew more than he was giving away. This gave me hope that he’d be an interesting protagonist. But unless we’re gonna get some massive character info-dump in the next few episodes, he’s just gonna be a plain character.

  2. **Also, quick edit; it’s not Jiro Yamada – it’s GUY DAIGOJI!

  3. I agree with most points in this blog yet i can’t stop watching it… it’s fun to watch yet boring and i always get the feeling afterwards that i want to watch more.

    this must be how you feel about code geass.

  4. All this talk of Jiro Yamada makes me wonder what was Mami’s real name?

  5. Yep, it’s the best train wreck show this season, which is why I’m loving every minute of it.

  6. Battles are completely uninteresting? I like the battle scenes because it always have some connections to first part of episode where they play out their youth.

  7. #corrections

    It’s “The Place Promised in Our Early Days”, not “The Promised Place in Our Early Days”, tururururu!

  8. +1 to snoopycool and FireStarter. I find that the random silly school stuff contrasted with the Kiraboshi scheming keeps things interesting, even if the battles are short and predictable due to the first half of the episode giving away the new skill/technique/information needed for Tauburn to pull off a victory.

  9. “Like every Takuto bathing with Sugata scene. Why do they need to bathe together? All the time?!”

    I apprivoised … in my pants.

  10. I’m surprised you also didn’t mention Head flirting with Sugata.

  11. “Takuto is the greatest magical girl since Nanoha”… o wait so this is a mahou shoujo series? XD XD XD

  12. I feel the exact same way about this show. XD It has no story plot whatsoever, and everything seems to be pulled out of everyone’s asses.

    Yet… I can’t stop watching. (But then again, I don’t think I’ve seen anything since around episode 10-12, since I haven’t really been keeping up with my anime.) It’s like one of those things you do on bad movie nights. You know it’s the most horrible thing you’re going to watch, and yet, you can’t seem to tear yourself away from it.

    … So does this make Star Driver a guilty pleasure?

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