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Oct 17 2011

Categories: ben-to, episodic review, fate/zero
Tagged: ben-to, fate/zero

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“It’s fun to walk around a new town accompanied by a gentlemen”

I can’t shake how similar these two series are– both have weird punctuation in their names! Nevermind the fact one is supposed to have some super cool hip battle royale for a magnificent prize thing going and the other is Fate/zero, I can’t deny that the Holy Grail War would be significantly better if it were fought over half-priced bentos instead. Saber, Archer, and Rider would most definitely be wolves with Caster as a boar and Assassin as the storm.

Half the time, Waver has this pose. You’re going to have a hard time telling me that Rider isn’t tapping that ass for his mana to stay in his physical form.

We’re the 1%. Fuck the rules.

When Kiritsugu entered the motel room, it reminded me of how Ryan Gosling enters every seedy motel room in Drive. So I knew he was bonking Maiya… my gosh, I find myself rooting for Kiritsugu to have a foursome now. Now I hope their next hideout is some hotel that charges by the hour and features a nekomimi cosplay selection.

(Kiritsugu and his guns… explain to me again why they can’t have their own sniper platoons and commando units? The families are obviously wealthy, especially Tousaka-papa’s and Kirei’s, and would be a great help. Headshotting a master is like tossing a dart to break a cell phone in Future Diary. For everyone who says, “BUT THE RULEZ!” Well, rules are meant to be broken, as evidenced by Kirei and Tousaka-papa’s faction breaking some rules. At the very least, consider car bombs, which Emiya is already a master of… if they’re good enough to blow up Dylan McKay’s dad, they’re good enough to blow up Archibald.)

So want Irisviel, Saber, and Emiya to re-enact Yuri, Ringo, and Tabuki’s relationship from Penguindrum. I am rooting for Saber to be Ringo in this case.

(Irisviel looks so adorable when she is out on her day-to with Saber, which only makes me think she knows Kiritsugu is bonking Maiya on the side. Why else would she agree to let Emiya and Maiya go to Japan separately and share a seedy motel room together? She knows and is pretending not to know.)

Speaking of Ring and Yuri, Oshiroi and Shiraume are veering into that category. Though one of my favorite parts of Bento is that both episodes so far have ended with Oshiroi being pleasured by another feature in a fetishtistic way. I feel like you should know these things.

I like how Ice Queen just wanted to eat half-priced bentos with someone else– she was lonely! Bento has been funny, sweet, and ridiculous. If Fate/zero is the Michelin-rated three star steak house, Bento is literally that great half-priced mackerel bento from a good Japanese supermarket.

“This Clinton dude is a more formidable opponent than Darius III.”

Iskander knows his politics. Clinton did something incredible: he stood up against the Republican party, won, and gave American it’s first budget surplus since godknowswhen. Plus, Iskander can definitely appreciate another world leader who gets blow jobs while on the job. But this scene cracked me up. We’re in the mid 90s at least.

“My Riding skill allows me to command any beast or vehicle, with the exception of divine and mythical beasts. Once I mount the saddle and take the reins, intuition does the rest.”

Mmm… pick one:

A. Dear Saber, a simple, “I know kung-fu” would have sufficed.
B. Oh ho ho, I have a mythical beast to ride.
C. The black suit is sharp. She looks like a female SP from Hayate the Combat Butler.
D. Air travel before 2001: don’t even need to declare your Noble Phantasm when crossing the border into Japan.

The last episode of Fate/zero was designed to make us hate Caster, and this episode of Bento is designed to make us hate on fat middle-aged women who bully half-priced bentos from poor college students. The Boar is clearly in the 1%. MOAR FOR ME! LESS FOR U!

Stalker girl is awesome. I have no clue what she has to do with half-priced bentos, but I want to see more of her. And it’s obvious that Oshiroi doesn’t have any other friends because Shiraume killed them all and ate their livers.

(Another awesome thing about Bento? Every time Satou talks a to female character, he is clearly staring at their melonpan the whole time. If the first episode was about delicious thigh meat, then the second is all about delicious melonpan.)

(Yet another awesome thing? Satou has an app phone with a Sonic wallpaper.)

Those shorts are fabulous max.

(Ufotable has been great at explaining everything except the part about Noble Phantasms, which is like assuming everyone knows which years Michael Jordan won Finals MVP. You need to explain these things. Also, the upgrade from Studio Deen to Ufotable is only slightly less than the upgrade from Toei to Kyoto for Clannad. Well done. And those are great short shorts, just like they were ripped from the 1970s NBA.)

Watching Tousaka-papa suck up to Gilgamesh… well… that was some mighty fine brown nosing. Just made me hope that if they made a 6th Holy Grail War set in 2017, Archer would be Steve Jobs armed with Unlimited Apps Works.

“Amazing! He’s a real wizard!”

Only bromance better than Tousaka-papa and Gilgamesh right now is between The Wizard and Satou. The Wizard is like the Sawa-chan to Satou’s Yui. Love how Satou has been a complete failure at the half-priced bento game until The Wizard gives him a word of encouragement, then he turns into Michael Jordan circa 1996.

Understated part of Bento? The brunette with hopes and dreams is just referred to as “Brunette”… and you never see her face. I’m hoping it’s not actually some dude in drag. Oh gosh, it is!

Feel so cheated in this transformation sequence. Should and could have been much better. Sigh. If only Kyubey were involved. (Oh gosh, maybe that’s how Arthuria got this gig… Kyubey promised a little girl that she could become a magical knight and rule a kingdom… until Arthuria got overtaken by the despair and now is just a pawn in the game of others… nah, I rather have Saber and Lancer fight over some half-off bentos.)

tl;dl

1. Emiya can’t keep his dick in his pants.
2. Gilgamesh can’t keep his sword in his sheath.
3. Shiraume can’t keep the crazy out of her friendship.