enemies of the state

Public Enemy

The Main Office has upgraded the nation’s harem terror alert level this morning. In a press conference held on the parade grounds, they cited six new individuals dangerous to any harem. Not only are they powerful and a threat to national security, they are also a threat to everyone’s sister, girlfriend, or meido. The new additions to the Most Wanted list include…

Haruo, Magikano

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Even though he seems harmless and is loser with a capital “L”, he has latent magically abilities that surpasses a coordinator’s SEED mode. Very unpredicatable; very dangerous… and whatever happens, do not get him aroused or make his sister jealous. Seems to attract an ungodly amount of women for being such a nondescript individual… though currently he has limited himself to hawt witches, hawt meido, and his hawt little sisters. Due to his perchance for strawberry panties, certain high-risk parties have been taken into protective custody. If seen, please contact the authorities and stay at least 100m away at all times.

(Meta: Am I the only one disappointed that Magikano is only running 13 episodes? I haven’t felt like this since I found out that the original Rozen Maiden was only 13 desu desu.)

Emiya, Fate/Stay Night

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Seemingly innocent loser but secretly holds latent magical powers (a pattern forms!). His magical power isn’t that he’s able to use magic to make stuff stronger, it’s that he lucks out with the women. Like Folken’s absolute luck soldiers, Emiya stumbles into a situation where hawt classmate A cooks and takes care of him, hawt classmate B worries about him and protects him to the detriment of her winning the Holy Grail, hawt loli wants to give him melonpan, and hawt swordswoman is accidentially summoned… to serve him. There is no know counter to Emiya, and please be advised that the Main Office R&D reports that it may take twelve months to a year and even maybe 365 days to come up with a countermeasure. Until then, if an “Emiya alert” sounds in town, please take shelter ASAP.

(Meta: Emiya, I blame you for why Saber lost to Shana. Or the lack of Fate/Stay Night-based doujinshis in America where Saber, Rin, and Sakura are taking a bubble bath together. Or maybe one where Rider, Saber, and Caster decide to hold a lingerie party… Magikano‘s nekopantsu can be the guest speaker.)

Athrun, Gundam Seed (Destiny)

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Zaft special forces member… deadly in small arms combat, deadlier in mobile suit combat, deadliest when whoring supersuits designed to sell like hotcakes as PVC models and garage kits (target audience: alien frogs). Exceptionally dangerous as both a warrior and a harem lead; however, he does have a weakness for his childhood friend turned enemy turned friend again turned enemy again turned uncomfortable moment whenever they are alone together because of the possible yaoi factor. As both a celebrity ace pilot and harem lead, he is as dangerous around woman as Tom Cruise was circa-Top Gun. Do not — repeat — DO NOT — leave Athrun alone with one’s little sister in the same room. If seen, please contact the authorities ASAP. Very armed; very dangerous; possible Scientologist.

(Meta: I start thinking up dumb stuff whenever I start reading my housemate’s issues of US Magazine that lie around the house… “Lacus would definitely be Jessica Simpson. Athrun would be Nick, and that makes Kira that ‘I can’t believe I’m shagging Jessica Simpson’ dude from Maroon 5. Meyrin, of course, would be Kristin from Laguna Beach. Shinn would be Drew Lachey.” Has anyone compared GSD to a failed Hollywood marriage turned soap opera before? Am I the first? Would like the readers from Japan, Singapore, and Malaysia have any frickin’ clue what I’m talking about here? Though I want to see the faces of anyone who came here by googling, “jessica simpson” and seeing their, “WTF is this shit?” face. I’m rambling.)

Yuji, Shakugan no Shana

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He lives eternally as the container that houses Reiji Maigo, and his stoic demeanor hides a latent monster. (Anyone else notice Shana’s eyes when he picks up Bloodsucker like nothing?) His powers are almost limitness… luckily, he’s been dealing with existentialistic ponderings on his existance (or non-existance) as a torch that he has not truly manifested his full abilities. However, he is being trained by the Flame Haired, Red Hot Eyed Hunter Shana so one must assume that it is only a matter of time. He seems to favor… younger looking tomogara and flame hazes. Keep an eye on this one as he may be looking for more than just melonpan.

(Meta: Maybe it’s the “Aki-syndrome.” He’s been around his mom for so long, his perception of hawt woman is skewed. I mean… out of Wilhelmina , Yoshida, Margery, and Shana and picking Shana… it’s like choosing Anty over Mai, Natsuki, Miyu, and Nao.)

Mamoru, Kage Kara Mamoru

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With his Coke bottle glasses, he looks dorkier and wussier than Haruo, but that’s just a wolf in sheep’s clothing… he’s really an l33t ninja. Not really an l33t ninja (would l33t ninja’s be pwned by their mom?) but still a very dangerous one. If he says, “Continuing to protect for 400 years,” run away. Don’t even bother fighting him, even with his cousin enslaved as a nekomimi assassin. He’s even capable of standing down a gattling gun, which the legendary hitokiri Kenshin couldn’t even do. Last seen watching over and protecting his mentally non-agile neighbor, Yuna. Seems to attract an ungodly amount of woman proficient with swords. Approach him and his dog, Bluemaru, with caution.

(Meta: Kage Kara Mamoru went off that Mai Otome-ish cliff for that alien episode. I mean… absolutely ridiculous, even for a harem series. Not even Love Hina would do this. And non-Gundam model purcashing aliens, in general, are just not funny in anime… the aliens in Pani Poni Dash are the weakest link on that show as well. BTW, this is adult Becky. As Palpatine would say, “We’ll be following your career with great interest.” I’m really off-topic now, ain’t I?)

Ginko, Mushishi

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Expert in the art of mushis, yet has a spotty track record. He is capable of doing many things with mushis, including opening up holes in space-time, putting people into deep sleep, and afflicting people with blindness. Since mushis cannot be seen by normal people, it makes Ginko even more dangerous as one won’t know if he’s secretly plotting one’s demise. Ginko also uses this “I can’t stay at one place too long or else the mushis will gather” excuse to get close with women then move on… he’s brilliant. The best. The Wilt Chamberlain of anime. It’s still inconclusive pending some paternality tests, but he’s potentially Wataru, Karen, Sakuya, Chikage, Aria, Maria, Haruka, et al’s long missing father. Easily identifiable from his chain smoking and wardrobe from Eddie Bauer. If one sees a white-haired, one-eyed chain smoker wearing preppy fleece talking to one’s older sister (especially) be very concerned (especially if it’s during the heart of winter), do not approach, and contact the authorities immediately.

(Meta: I can’t believe no one else has brought up the fact that Mushishi seems to take place in feudal-ish Japan, yet Ginko looks like he goes shopping at Eddie Bauer… how does this reconcile? He uses a time-traveling mushi with a mushi Visa to fetch him clothes from Timberland and eddiebauer.com? His clothes just looks like no other character on the show.)

The five join still at large members Sagara, Shinji, Negima, and Tate on the Most Wanted list. Please exercise caution and prudence when near any of them and contact the authorities immediately. With everyone’s cooperations, hopefully these harem terrorists can be brought to justice and end our national nightmare.

24 Responses to “enemies of the state”

  1. Oh you`re not the only who disappointed about magikano being that short. i`m also disappointed that there aren`t any decent figures for magikano as well =(

    and rofl at this entry, it`s certainly cracked me up.

  2. Nice…really..nice . comparing GSd to soap-opera ..that was not something i would hvae thinked of..but nice…nice . I already called Athrun the Pimp master …but..Nick is fine as well XD

  3. Good one ^_^

    Yeah, it’s a total shame that Magikano ends. My surprise show of the season.

  4. Oh yeah…

    like my best friend said “If you want to forget everything in your week, watch Magikano over and over again”, I take his advice and well… I’m happy now.

    Athrun can handle any problem, like when Lacus told him “That boy… (Kira)… I Like him”. C’mon, his girlfrined fallen in love with his best friend and did you see any reaction? Non…

    Haruo and Mamoru… mmm clueless guys with great power, make me think in someone else, but… forget it.

    Finaly, I want to see Shirou kick somebody’s ass right here and right now… c’mon dude, you have your onw harem at home.

    And Yuuji, at least he kwons both. Kasumi and Shana, loves him. Maybe we see some action in the upcoming movie. Gambatte! Shana-chan dearimasu

  5. I’d personally include Rin Tsuchimi. Who cunningly picks a girlfriend that allows her rivals to continue loving him!

    And one meme coming right up!

  6. Don’t bring Shuffle! right here, that bring to my mind bad memories… how could the writters to that… OK, I was a Kaede fan for to many reasons, but I don’t see it clear…

    Another example of bad harems was Canvas 2 ^_^

  7. Canvas 2 didn`t feel like a Harem >.>
    It was just 2 Kiri and Elis. Meh. I thought you need like 3 or more girls to qualify as a harem. lol.

  8. I assume that you are counting Hecate as one of Yuuji’s harem members. Yuuji kinda kicked her out of his harem though, so he doesn’t have a real harem left (a real harem needs at least 3 members IMO).

    Anyway, I agree with what you said about him. Yuuji must have retained some of that extra PoE generated by Reiji Maigo somehow, as he seems much stronger now. I guess they must have ran out of time to explain it.

    I mean, he picked up Blutsauger, effortlessly flipped it around with one hand, then blew up the whole room with it. Shana threw the thing at the machine, and only managed to crack one gear.

    Then he proceeded to survive Alastor’s manifestation while some of the most powerful flame hazes and tomogaras in the world had to run for their lives. Sure he had the ring, but it requires PoE usage to shield the flames. He was right next to Shana when Alastor manifested, so huge amounts of PoE use can probably be expected.

    Well, Shana is probably the one that knows his level best. If he suprised Shana like that, something must have happened.

  9. >> And one meme coming right up!

    I see

    >> Yuuji kinda kicked her out of his harem though, so he doesn’t have a real harem left

    He has Fires still. But I’m going to count Hecate under the Flay-exception. Even though Kira wanted nothing to do with Flay after he slept with her, Flay still counts towards his harem.

  10. The Mushishi stories all take place in an indeterminate time, although at least one of the manga chapters takes place in the present day. It’s a deliberate decision by the manga-ka to make Ginko as mysterious as possible – is he, himself, more supernatural than he already appears? Hence why he wears more modern clothing – he just happens to wear the same thing all the time no matter “when” he is.

    Well, it’s a good enough excuse to just write whatever the hell she feels like, I guess.

  11. 快结束了.Mushishi确实很不错,不是这个乱来的

  12. >>Would like the readers from Japan, Singapore, and Malaysia have any frickin’ clue what I’m talking about here?

    Errmm… actually not. I never follow Western stuff, not much of my cup of tea. So sorry, but I’ll have to decline in the meme making… what do I have to do anyways?

    Other than that… I went “WTF” when I scrolled down, reading all about the usual suspects, when then, I saw the last person was Ginko…. totally went all 0.0?!!

  13. I was only skimming this post until I got to the adult Becky link.

    … wait, what? GIMMIE!

    Where did you find that, and how much will it cost me to get the rest?

  14. Just IMHO, but maybe Mushishi takes place around just before Japan open her country? 19th century pants and shirt shouldn’t look so much different from today, and Ginko, who travel around and has a lot of interesting stuffs, should be able to get some of those from Dutch merchant.

  15. “He has Fires still. But I’m going to count Hecate under the Flay-exception. Even though Kira wanted nothing to do with Flay after he slept with her, Flay still counts towards his harem.”

    Fires isn’t really a true harem member either AFAIK. But it is interesting that after securing a human harem member and a flame haze harem member, he’s now trying potential tomogara members. With Reiji Maigo, he could actually feed his tomogara harem members so they don’t have to attack humans. He’s, like, amassing a harem while saving people at the same time.

  16. Well, I suspect that reason that Blutsager wasn’t an issue for Yuuji was, as others have noted, he had the PoE required to manipulate it without the same problems normal humans have. Between that and Friagne’s ring, he’s the RPG equivalent of a heavily pimped out starting character. :D He has both the equipment and the ‘stats’ not usually given to a starting character… which makes him “Mr. Impossible” in this situation.

    I’m a bit disappointed by how Eclipse didn’t translate “Tenpa Jyoysai’, though… and thinking Yuuji is a canny harem master for not saying to either girl how he feels, and thus avoiding the decision point. :D

  17. Speaking about Yuuji

    The only thing I don’t like it about the final episode was his reaction when Shana finally told him about her feelings. Okay, I know that wasn’t the best situation, sure, a smile is better than nothing, but it was too empty for my taste.

    Now Yuuji can kick a Tomogara ass (something that Shirou would like to do right now in Fate/Stay Night). Well, I have great hopes with the upcoming movie of Shakugan n Shana.

  18. Tsubaki, you’re right

    Canvas 2 wasn’t a harem show, but… Holy sh… episode 24 of Canvas 2 is out and… wow I love it, Hontoni I love it very much.

    See you writers of Shuffle! That’s how a series has to end.

  19. >> He’s, like, amassing a harem while saving people at the same time.

    >> Yuuji is a canny harem master for not saying to either girl how he feels, and thus avoiding the decision point.

    He’s awesome, isn’t he? But I’ll still put Ginko above him… I mean, it’s a girl a week for him.

    >> Where did you find that, and how much will it cost me to get the rest?

    It’s from a PPD doujinshi… here’s the page where Becky decides to use a growth serum after she gets picked on.

    Free Image Hosting at <a href='http://www.ImageShack.us' rel='nofollow'/>www.ImageShack.us</a>

  20. yoshida better looking than shana? …mmm
    wilhelmina doesnt like yuuji, so it’s not like he can “choose” her, but if u wanted something like that then just watch hentai
    same with margery, and she looks like she overdosed on the breast enlargement pills
    lol -_-@

  21. Its a shame you can’t find a lot of H-doujinshis about Shakugan no Shana; I only have 3 u_u

    Well, at least Yuuji is ready to make his pick… maybe

  22. Meh, you can’t blame the writers for Shuffle!. It’s an hgame for god’s sake. All harem endings are possible. They merely chose the one least expected. Which is interesting… it’s like having FSN Shirou ending with Sakura in the end.

  23. “Meh, you can’t blame the writers for Shuffle!. It’s an hgame for god’s sake. All harem endings are possible. They merely chose the one least expected. Which is interesting… it’s like having FSN Shirou ending with Sakura in the end.”

    but yet, who could complain?… shirou gets lovely sakura, then rin goes off and steal saber… almost everyone is happy!…almost >.>

    *attempts to steal saber and rider away*

  24. I cannot believe Kintaro (from Golden Boy) is not mentioned.

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