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Apr 25 2006

Categories: anime, episodic review, melancholy of haruhi suzumiya
Tagged: haruhi suzumiya

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We got it all wrong. The first episode wasn’t about Haruhi’s crappy movie… the first episode was warning us of what to expect. Foreshadowing at its sneakiest.

From what I understand, this episode jumps forward in the Haruhi timeline to novel 3, skipping novel 2, which pertains to the “other space” incident. It’s a month after Haruhi booted up SOS Brigade by exploiting Mikuru’s moeness, and Itsuki has joined them. It’s pretty much revealed to Kyon that no one in SOS Brigade is normal… maybe not even him. Itsuki seems to have a clue of what’s going on but his further abilities aren’t revealed, Mikuru is probably either a combat waitress or a club-to-death angel from the future, and Yuki is a slightly more useful Emiya Shirou. As for Haruhi and Kyon… one can destroy the world and the other can stop her.

There’s a very short moment of peace in the SOS Brigade that Kyon was reflecting on (world cramping incident) until Haruhi barges in and has a grand idea of playing baseball for the sake of promoting SOS, but she’s just really bored. They’re not the baseball club, after all, so they try to round up some more people, including Kyon’s potato-like friends and Mikuru’s friend (from our space-time… score!).

Haruhi then uses her usual tactics, i.e. strong-arming and exploiting Mikuru’s sexuality, to secure practice time and equipment for SOS. The practice doesn’t exactly go well… Mikuru and Yuki have completely different reactions to the ball. Mikuru has complete fear of it while Yuki has complete indifference to it. This leads Kyon to ask Yuki for a rainout (which, I guess, she’s capable of). Though has anyone ever played shortstop with as much moe as Mikuru did, cowering under her glove?

For the game, Kyon’s 11 year old sister is their ninth member, much to Haruhi’s semi-dismay. She quickly moves on and has everyone draw lots for batting order and field position, only she gets the plumb pitching/lead off spot. She doesn’t seem like much of a team player… she’s pretty much their Kobe. (Kyon would be Smush Parker, and Mikuru is about as emasculated as Lamar Odom is these days. Yep, NBA playoffs… I love this game!) As a pitcher, Haruhi tosses overhand and isn’t too shabby hitting the ball either. Unfortunately, the rest of her team stinks. Worse than the Kansas City Royals. When the team is doing their worst, Haruhi deploys their secret weapon: her and Mikuru in cheerleader outfits and miniskirts which has predictable results for anyone who has watched the equivalent ああっ女神さまっ story where Urd breaks down the batters by zipping down her uniform. Unfortunately, SOS Brigade didn’t have the same luck that the Goddess Fantastic Club had. Not even Haruhi’s blue and Mikuru’s red panties can stem the tide… maybe they need to borrow Ayumi’s neko-pantsu or something. They’re still getting owned.

(Watching Haruhi give out hand signals, anyone else think of One Piece‘s baseball special? Where Luffy was making the same dumb signs, and Nami’s, uh, cleavage causes Sanji to screw up? Yep, pretty much the same.)

During this period of getting their butt-kicked, Itsuki warns Kyon that losing will mean the end of the world (since Haruhi’s boredom and temper seems to control this Mononoke Hime-class monster, and she somehow fabricated a scenario in that Kyon would become the hero…). He asks Kyon if Kyon can save the world “the same way,” which Kyon patently rejects. How did Kyon save the world originally? Well, I have an spoiler-riffic brainstorm. Anyway, Itsuki eventually asks Yuki to help them win by reprogramming the bat and ball such that they hit homers like they were on Jason Giambi’s “vitamin-e” shots and toss pitches like Super Baseball Simulator 1.000.

(For anyone who has played SBS 1.000 for the SNES, it’s the greatest baseball video game ever. Save your lame arguments for MLB 2k2 or whatnot– nothing compares to SBS 1.000. It’s the baseball equivalent of Tecmo Bowl. Damn. I seriously want to play it now and create an SOS team.)

In any case, they win the game, Kyon gets a smile from Haruhi, and the world is saved. Until next week, desho desho.

The SOS Brigade Awesomeness Index

UP Haruhi’s utter domination over Mikuru… part of me believes that the show is really about a school club; part of me believes that the show is really about a bunch of lunatical aliens, espers, and witches; part of me believes that the show is really a docu-drama about a hentai series kinda like Boogie Nights, only we don’t see the “Haruhi raping Mikuru and making her Haruhi’s submissive slave” episode yet. Though, I wouldn’t count out any of the three possibilities above.

Also, was anyone even remotely surprised that Haruhi offered up Mikuru to secure the practice time with the baseball team? Or were we disappointed that she didn’t rip off Mikuru’s top to seal the deal?

(Also, don’t think for a second that baseball is a throw away plot idea. There’s has to be something connecting Haruhi and baseball… everything in this series thus far has been deliberate and calculated.)

UP Mikuru’s ever growing moe list… she’s the mystery meido!?! Wow. Bunny girl. Nurse. Meido. Plus they have Haruhi’s tsundere act, Kyon’s pedobait sister, and Yuki’s Rei Ayanami impersonation. They really cover every possible fetish category, don’t they? There’s still ten episodes left, so I’m hoping for nekomimi, policewoman, and mahou shoujo before it ends.

DOWN Mikuru’s meido power ranking… not as powerful as Wilhelmina … suckier at baseball than Mariel… lack of Mahoro-class breast missiles. I’m leaning towards a low ranking, but I’m willing to listen to arguments otherwise, especially if said arguments were dripping in Mikuru meido fanservice.

DOWN Mikuru’s fielding skillz… she’s no Ichiro. Hell, she’s not even a David Ortiz when it comes to fielding.

UP Haruhi’s baseball skillz… Haruhi scores major points for pitching overhand… that says, “Fear me.” The pitching the same location says, “I have a big Kobe-sized ego.” In other words, Suns in 5.

UP Sport themes. I like this episode more than Hanaukyo‘s equivalent baseball episode, but nothing, absolutely nothing, tops Fumoffu‘s rugby episode. Pantheon episode up there with Cowboy Bebop 5. Though who would win if SOS Brigade went up against Sagara?

UP Ear chomping. I’m debating between (a) sexual fetish (b) moe overload and (c) Mike Tyson. Either way, I want to chomp on Mikuru’s ear too!

UP HDTV.

UP Harem-like substance… what did Itsuki mean that “that might happen again” if Kyon is too nice to Mikuru? Is Haruhi jealous that Kyon is getting close to Mikuru… or because Mikuru is getting close to Kyon? In any case, I hope the correct answer is, “threesome.” (Emiya Shirou? You reading this? Take notes, buddy.)

DOWN The plot spitball… I think that the story would have been better served in a normal progression… now… well… what exactly did skipping ahead buy us in terms of story flow? Not much… still mysterious, only there’s a ton more questions than answers, and there’s less suspense when the world cramping story does come since. We know they live and play baseball afterwards. I think jumping forward then jumping back only works if it teases the viewer, and episode 1 was a great example of that. We were all teased into thinking, “What kind of twisted, non-Sunrise-employed mind would come up with such a train wreck of a story?” Only…

UP The Bunny Girl faint… that episode was really an indication of the real story. Mikuru from the future? Check. Yuki as a witch? Check. Itsuki as an esper? Wouldn’t bet against it. The only two variables left in the equation are Haruhi and Kyon, and I’m just dying now to see how everything turns out. Are they like San and Ashitaka? Chidori and Sagara? Keroro and Dororo? Cicada‘s Rena and KFC? It’s hard to cut through Kyon’s sarcasm, but why does he stay with SOS?

DOWN Boredom… as in waiting for more. How the hell is something like Himawari supposed to tie me over until more Haruhi? Can’t they just air like six episodes in one day?