zero no tsukaima 7

It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Jessica –
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named Jessica?
Quoth the Fanboy, “ありますか?”


After securing the Staff of Destruction, Henrietta gives praise and awards for Saito and Pink Haired Zero Magic Mage. The most curious part is that no one else is around as she knights Louise. Henrietta also offers Saito a chance for a gohobi, and, with Louise’s encouragement, he takes it… only using the wrong body part. Score one Saito x Henrietta kis-su. Saito enjoys it for a second before Louise starts inflicting the pain. I was hoping that the anime would start resembling more of a trashy novel, and, instead, I get a trashy harem comedy. W00t!

Henrietta also wants Saito and Louise to investigate the town for cases of abuse by the nobels on the citizens, and for some odd reason, Louise decides that she needs a disguise, so she dresses up like a French mime. Meanwhile, Saito is still wearing his typical outfit that I swore I saw on sale at Sportsmart the other day for $19.99. Henrietta also put the two on a budget, which Louise quickly blows. The two are now stuck in town with no food or shelter… until they’re approached by a gay French innkeeper (he may not be gay, but I’d rather not risk that) wearing a women’s jogging bra (on sale now at Sportsmart for $9.99!) who offers them a job.

Someone needs to photoshop Mikuru in there HD

What’s the job? Basically, he wants Louise to join his staple of medival meido waitresses. I fully approve. And oh my stars and garters… there’s a lot of stars and garters. Hottie central. In fact, better “talent” than the mage academy. Apparently, this bar is somewhere between any modern meido cafe and soapland in terms of seediness… and all the customers are male… I feel like I need to grab a stack of dollar bills and head for the Champagne Room all of a sudden. This tavern makes Hooters seem like Sunday Church. The only two men working there are the gay French boss and Saito, who immediately starts flirting with Jessica, the tavern wench who is also the boss’ daughter, much to Louise’s dismay.


All the waitresses are currently competing for tips to win both $ as well as the chance to wear the Enchanting Fairy outfit, which looks more like something on sale at Victoria Secret’s for $49.99. Nonetheless, Louise completely bombs at the job. She doesn’t have the assests to keep up with the other girls in the melonpan race, and she has way too much pride for working as a walking peep show for slobbish males. So much so that the boss even pulls her aside and tells her, “Just watch what the other girls are doing.” Louise hates the job, the accomendations (basically, this place will probably make 6 o’clock news for “police busts prositution ring” before it makes Zagat’s), and how Saito has adapted so quickly to the surroundings. He is a commoner, after all. Anyway, after their first day of work, there’s a really cute scene where Louise is afraid to sleep on her bed so he crawls onto the floor to snuggle up with Saito. Only he’s snoring away. Classic.

(Disappointingly, they don’t show what happens when they wake up. Did Saito move around in his sleep and inappropriately touch Louise thus leading to a whipping? I feel we need to know these things.)

The next day, the Pink Haired Zero Cup Mage is still kept on the sidelines as all the girls who great tips, and Jessica works on Saito. Louise start’s developing Black Tamama tendencies. In fact, she’s even starting to sound like him, scary enough. “Mune ka? Yappa aitzu mune ka?!” She loses it after seeing Jessica’s pantheon quality melonpan and zonks Saito out with a flying beer bottle. (I noticed that Jessica’s melonpan is animated very similarly to Yoshida’s… in fact, so much so that I expect Shana-tan to be riding her dog out in the back during the sequence.)

A healthy breakfast HD

Saito finds himself waking up in (I suppose) Jessica’s room with Jessica on top of him. Awesome. That’s a healthy breakfast. She sees through Louise’s and Saito’s situation and surmises that they aren’t who they say they are. She guesses that Louise is a Nobel, and Saito is her servant. Saito tries to deny this, only it makes him look even more suspicious/mysterious, which arouses Jessica to the point that she’s willing to trade secrets for secrets. I love the slow, seductuous “a… ge… ru… <3” Saito, of course, is too busy feeling up and staring at Jessica’s rack.

Right when things start to get good, Louise barges in and starts screaming. Party pooper. She then kicks Saito in the crotch like Adam Vinatieri going for a 49 yard field goal. Well, that’s a form of birth control, I think.

Afterwards, the local tax collector shows up and basically starts acting like a big shot asshole at the inn, causing much dismay amongst the waitresses and other patrons. Unwittingly, Louise, of all people, goes to serve him… and he unwittingly wonders if the bar has started hiring boys. O-U-C-H! She pwns him thus starting an almost riot, only Saito steps in and tries to protect her… only he forgot to bring his sword. Awesome swordsman. Can you imagine an episode of Kenshin where Kenshin forgets his sword? Anyway, Louise saves the day by nuking everyone then proclaming that she’s the top Nobel around. The tax collector almost pisses in his pants after seeing the full power of the Wrathful Loli and leaves her a ginormous tip. Louise wins the tip contest. And Saito and us get to see Enchanting Fairy Louise. Good times… good times.

Zero no Tsukaima Character Power Rankings™

1A. Enchanting Fairy Louise HD

Let’s go to the ツンデレ scorecard for Louise’s four touchdown, 400 yard passing performance:

ツンツン: Punishing all the bar patrons for flirting with her. Going ape crazy over her small breasts… even Mahoro didn’t go this emo over hers. Smacking down Saito after he kisses Henrietta. Knocking Saito out with a beer bottle. Interrupting Saito and Jessica’s fun. Kicking Saito’s crotch. Sulking in her French mime outfit. Baka inu.

デレデレ: Wearing the Enchanting Fairy outfit. Snuggling up with Saito.

Can’t Tell: Everytime she steps on Saito’s head. Heaven and hell.

(Louise needs a better putdown/pet name for Saito than “baka inu.” Everytime I hear it, I get visions of Natsumi berating Keroro with “bokearu!”)

1B. Tavern Wench Jessica HD

Jessica just rushed for two touchdowns and 150 yards on 27 carries. And she just saved Zero no Tsukaima‘s season. My gawd, she’s hawter than all the waitresses… she’s wasted washing dishes. You can probably make a case that her father keeps her in the back as a protectionist act, but looking at the way she propositioned Saito, doesn’t look like that protectionism is working that well.

Also, Jessica isn’t in the OP. Maybe they’re changing OPs? Or maybe they didn’t originally plan to include her? The OP looks so dated, and it’s only the seventh episode. Can we start Shaft working on a remake of Louise?! already?

Finally, as for a purely moe harem standpoint, would you rather have Karura, Touka, Eruru, Oboro, Aruru, and Kamyu or Jessica, Siesta, Louise, Henrietta, Kirshe, and Tabitha? Or maybe Shion, Mion, Rena, Rika, Takano, and Satoko? Then there’s Haruhi, Mikuru, Yuki, LOL FANG-TAN, Ryoko, and Itsuki. There’s been a lot of good harems lately.

How about for a purely battle standpoint? Think Touka can out slice Unlimited KFC Works Rena? Think Shion can taser Kirche? Think Tabitha can speedread faster than Yuki?

(The big difference between standard medival fare like Wheel of Time and Zero and Tsukaima is their quality on tavern wenches. Not even comparable. Okay, that’s not the only difference, but it’s a very important one.)

2. New Found Respect for Saito HD

For a brief moment, it looked like he out-pimped Tamaki when he kissed Henrietta. He was smooth. Overall, did a much better job this episode of convincing me that he has two balls (even if Louise breaks them), with only two minor breakdowns: the typical harem male breakdown when an uber-hawt chix0r is trying to seduce him and his “Only I can touch Louise’s!” line. Fortunately, everyone was too confused by the innuendo of that line to realize that he didn’t have a sword.

(And his final “tres bien!” was just confusing. Louise should have kicked his crotch again. Seeing anyone, even if they’re as flat as Louise, in tha Enchanting Fairy outfit deserves a better compliment than that. I personally would have gone with, “Ponytails turn me on.”)

3. o_o Henrietta HD

Threeway Expressway, here we come!

The Pits of Hell. ScarronHD

“Hey, I have this great idea for an episode that could make Cowboy Bebop 5 and Haruhi Suzumiya 12 look like C-R-A-P! Let’s give Saito and Louise some lame excuse to live like commoners, only they run out of money, and Louise has to work at some seedy bar where she gets constantly groped!”

“I love it already!”

“Better yet, let’s have all the other scantily clad lasses at the bar do nothing but hit on Saito! This can’t miss!”

“OMFG! Best. Idea. Ever.”

“And to really take it to the next level, let’s introduce a half-nakkid guy covered in body hair who wears women’s jogging appeal for the gay French angle!”

I can imagine that conversation going on in JC Staff’s office a few months ago. In other words, great ideas have a beginning and an end.

(I’m not wasting a prime HD screencap spot for him. Sorry. Instead, I present Louise getting eyed down as if she were a God Knows Haruhi Suzumiya resin doll in a Akihabara storefront.

Last. Siesta, Kirche, and Tabitha HD

For not getting any screentime. Unforgivable. But meido waitresses and Jessica take the pain away.

The more Zero no Tsukaima turns into one big soap opera for Saito, the happier I am. While I’m sure that there’s some interesting plot points to be unearthed, the series works best when it’s in its trashy harem mode. There’s nothing wrong with this. Just don’t expect deep social commentaries like from Kino’s Travels. Still, hopefully we get to see more of Jessica before the end.

(Misc notes: trying new image clean-up method for the HD screenshots. Hopefully looks better than previous posts’.)

33 Responses to “zero no tsukaima 7”

  1. ok, siesta AND jessica are love.

  2. Jessica is good, but definitely loses to lOl fang tan =[
    how they cut out louise sitting by a candlelight dinner that she made herself waiting for saito is unforgivable though -_-

  3. Doesn’t the waitress modeling the Enchanting Fairy Meido outfit look a lot like Henrietta?

    Okay, Henrietta has purple (fuchsia?)hair and the anonymous meido is a brunette but the resemblance is uncanny.

  4. I never thought I’d say this, but I think we need some more Fang-tan.

  5. The show seems to be steering towards the trashy novel side, but since we are half way thru the show, I don’t expect too much.

    Jessica is a great (looking) addition to the cast; hope she is a recurring. Zero’s harem gets a better grade in looks, but Haruhi’s is better overall.

    And kudos to JC staff for creating a great-looking waitress line-up for a brief scene; others would have just make the same design for all of the girls.

  6. With regards to the aforementioned harem choices…

    If you want to conquer the world, Hakuoro’s harem is the way to go.

    If you want to change the world, dial up the girls of the SOS-dan.

    If you want to be the kinky S&M slave of hot girls throwing themselves at you, say yes to Siesta and co.

    If you have an early death wish, Rena and friends can make arrangements for you, with fun tort-activities beforehand.


  7. Just think – Siesta and Jessica are actually related, and the novels have Jessica as a recurring character. And Siesta REALLY likes Saito. So, apparently, does Jessica.

    Forget the FMP:TSR twins. ;)

  8. negative, why leave them out of all the fun?

  9. If you want everything, Try Moroboshi Ataru’s dream Harem

  10. That pre-op scene alone was worth more than entire series out there, even though many saw it coming.

    Boy, Saito must have a “Hit on me!” sign stuck on his back, except that Louise can’t see the “on” word…

    I wonder if he checked if polygamy was allowed in their world?

  11. That pre-op scene alone was worth more than entire series out there, even though many saw it coming.

    Boy, Saito must have a “Hit on me!” sign stuck on his back, except that Louise can’t see the “on” word… I wonder if he checked if polygamy was allowed in their world?

    Seeing the preview, I have high hopes for the next ep. Don’t dissapoint me now :P

  12. >> She guesses that Louise is a Nobel …

    If you mean the Nobel Peace Prize, she guessed wrong. Louise is a nominee for the war crime prize. When she’s not threatening other people’s lives with her wand, she violating Saito’s POW right to preserve his manhood.

    And not to be an ass, but you use “Nobel” in place of “noble” in your entire blog. I guess you were focusing on Jessica’s “two touchdowns”. lolol

  13. Yuki vs. Tabitha in speed reading. I would love to see that on payperview!~

    or Mikuru waitress battling Louise. MIKURU BEAM~

    The next episode looks like it’s going to be a good one and the title for the one after that looks promising as well. Your review on the episode was very entertaining by the way :D

  14. Saito is such a pimp this episode. Loved the scene where Louise crashed his and Jessica’s little party,

    Louise: “What are you doing?!”
    Saito: “Gathering Information!”

    Saito’s definitely right, you can NEVER gather too much “information” on the female anatomy, especially when it’s with someone as hawt as Jessica ^_^

  15. dude.. yuki can travel back in time easily not to mention her brain is also a super processor. No way tabitha would win. Like jason said – a poor man’s yuki

    Subaru, what the hell’s wrong with you!? OF COURSE THE WORLD WILL ALWAYS NEED MORE FANG TAN

  16. Okay, so Yuki can probably not only absorb the information written in the book in about a picosecond, but throw Heisenberg a giant f***-you and get a precise read on the position, velocity, and spin of all of its component particles too.

    But that isn’t reading. And we know that when it comes to actual reading, Yuki takes things fairly slow.

  17. lool Jessica’s VA is oooooooold, or at least looks DAMN OLD -_- :)

  18. …These are your readers…and fellow fans.

  19. Wheel of Time tavern wenches are inevitably “plumply pretty,” i.e. fat. Robert Jordan likes fat girls. I love how Jessica puts Saito in her bed while he’s wearing a dirty kitchen apron. She, also still wearing her apron, then has a go at him. Poor sheets.

  20. After the last ep, I was on the edge of giving up on this, but the Saito x Henrietta action in the pre-op was the best. Way to go, Saito.

  21. I’d say. We need more maids, either the “noble servant” type (Siesta) or the “tavern wench” type (Jessica).

    Seeing an all out brawl between two maids, a buxom “Ardent” noble, a cute queen, and a seemingly-loli-but-actually-isn’t noble would be extremely good to watch, but seeing the plotlines up ahead, it wouldn’t be too wise to insert that into the story.

    Instead, I propose a Zero no Louise-tan omake to resolve things once and for all. Heck, JC Staff even pull off a “Shana VS Louise” duel skit for good time’s sake.

  22. Now That’s quality entertainment!
    Love the football comparisons Jason- seems like a lot of other series this season are “three and out”.

  23. Everytime an anime uses a cliché i cry, REALLY HARD.

  24. I think something is wrong when the male lead of the adapted animation of a barely known novel already pimped about most of the female characters of the show while the male lead of the animated version of a h-game went “Saber!” until the end of the show and not even did single questionnable act on any other female.

  25. >> I think something is wrong when the male lead of the adapted animation of a barely known novel

    I meant “the male lead of the animation adaptation of a barely known novel”

  26. it is past midnight for me, it tells me I need to sleep.

  27. Zero no Tsukaima is fairly popular in Japan.

  28. ^ I’m referring to the novels

  29. since u’ve asked for and i was fooling around photoshop, ok, i’ve photoshoped mikuru on it, there it goes heheheh

    (i was too lazy to finish the legs and other stuff, u could say its halfway done heheheh, so the greyscale version could fool someone hehehehehhe, also the blur is halfway done )
    obs: the mikuru image was a resin doll heuaheuae

  30. lol, i got no url posted heauheuaheuae
    here we go again:

  31. We know exactly what Louise wanted ^_^

    After this episode is clear that something is growing inside Louis (don’t look at me with those perverted eyes). After all, this is a harem/comedy anime..

    Every part of me was trembling in excitement when Jessica offered Saito exchange secrets (lucky bastard) and then Louise made her entrance to kick off Saito’s balls. Poor guy, even Shana was that rude with Yuuji.

    It seems like the bad guys are there, waiting for a chance to strike back.

    For now, and after seeing yesterdays pictures of episode 8; I can’t wait

  32. That Jessica looks alot like Asakura…

    Maybe that’s where she transferred to!!

    Wait a sec…@_@”

  33. LO… to much parallel worlds my frined…
    Damn it! I can’t wait to see episode 8

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