melancholy of haruhi suzumiya 2009 5, endless eight


I have never, ever watched an episode of Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya on 2X speed. Until today. Ugh. 5 is the new 4 which was the new 3 and wasn’t that different from the old 2. I wouldn’t mind if they repeated things but was somewhat different… but I honestly started praying for something–- ANYTHING-– different by the 16 second mark. Kyon and Itsuki re-enact the Battle of Gettysburg? Sure, why not? Yuki becomes a cheerleader for the LA Clippers? Sure, why not? Haruhi tries out Google Chrome? Sure, why not? Mikuru is the next contestant on the Price Is Right? Sure, why not?

Surely, if Kyoto ran 13 episodes of Endless Eight… it would be the ballsiest move in anime production history. They would just get a ton of flak from the fans, but there would also be the car flag waving irrational fans that would try to justify it somehow. I’m rooting for 13 episodes of Endless Eight now; it’ll be like rooting for the Detroit Lions to go 0-16. Just a completely magical experience… only the exact opposite.

I guess the biggest problem I had with this episode was… what the fuck am I going to blog about? I already used up my “I’m rooting for 13 episodes in a row” angle last episode… now… I’m really, really stretching for things to write about. So… uh… found any good combos in BlazBlue yet?

(My list of the funniest, stupidest, ballsiest moves in the last 10 years would probably be…)

(#10. The Minnesota Timberwolves draft three point guards in the 2009 NBA draft.)

(#9. Microsoft releases Windows Vista.)

sos brigade awesomeness index


Mysterious, semi-lesbian assassins… they already have the RPG and retro sci-fi parodies on Haruhi Theater already; I’m waiting for their take on the mysterious, cold-blooded, somewhat lesbian assassin genre. Like you wouldn’t want to see Haruhi headshot goons while sliding down a stripper’s pole and winking at Mikuru at the same time. (Well, you probably want to see Haruhi doing anything else at this point… “Haruhi is going to Delaware! Sign up me!” “Haruhi is visiting a screen door factory!? Best. Episode. Ever.”)

(#8. Levi knocking up Sarah Palin’s underaged daughter.)

(#7. TIE: Charles Barkley telling the cops the reason that he’s drunk and speeding is that he needs to make it to an appointment with a hooker. And Senator Craig soliciting gay sex in a men’s bathroom at the Minnesota Airport thus leading to links to him coming up for the first 20 results if one is googling “senator gay bathroom”.)


Despair… I’m in despair over seeing the same events repeated time and time again without adequate amounts of fanservice! I’m in despair that my commenters cannot step up their game and write some decent YTAMR candidates! I’m in despair that even though HAL took over Spice and Wolf, it’s not that much prettier! I’m in despair that Octavia has like zero lines now in Tears to Tiara! I’m in despair that Gonzo nabbed the animation production privileges to The World God Only Knows! I’m in despair that the artwork in the new Kanon spin-off Wonder Three, is so bad! I’m in despair that High School of the Dead is “canceled”! I’m in despair that Jessica doesn’t have a crazy twin sister in Umineko (yet)! I’m in despair that Needless is actually a semi-watchable show! I’m in despair that K-On! Encore hasn’t been announced yet even though it’s a surefire hit especially after learning about the Mugi and Mio take a bath together chapter!

(Only one of those items is false.)


Mikuru’s melonpan… this is horrible! They’re recessing like the glaciers in Glacier National Park! Or Lindsey Lohan’s breasts after Mean Girls! Horrible! A national tragedy!

(At least Mikuru’s haircut looked like Mio’s whenever Mio was at the beach. You’d ever think that Mio would provide more skin at this point than Mikuru? I still remember by episode 5 of the first season, we’ve already seen eyefuls upon eyefuls of bunny girl Mikuru as well as an assortment of Mikuru lingerie. Needless to say, Mikuru hasn’t had any reason to spout, “ruined for marriage.” I feel like this is a horrible, horrible development.)


This ain’t no Clannad… with all the cuts to mysterious glider craft, I was wondering if another world Ushio and mecha-Tomoya would parachute in and save this show. Guess not.


Ponytail… one of the few “ups” I’m giving to this episode has to be all the variety and assortment of ponytails that Mikuru is in. Even if I weren’t desperate for things to write about for this episode, I still probably would have mentioned it.


Captured cicadas… a better (mental) image would be Kyoto Animation in place of Haruhi and all the anime fanboys out in place of the cicadas.


The horns… you know what the SOS Brigade need to do? Attend a Detroit Metal City concert. I would love to see a confrontation between Krauser and Haruhi with poor Mikuru and the poor Pig of Capitalism trapped in the middle.

(#6. Lulu passing up sweaty, uninhibited, wild, world-breaking sex with Kallen, Shirley, and/or C.C. to be penetrated by Suzaku instead.)

(#5. Bernie Madoff’s ponzi scheme.)


Popsicle… she needs to be licking it, not biting it. Biting it does nothing– NOTHING– for me.


BGM… fantastically creepy BGM for when Kyon almost stops Yuki. And we only had to reboot four times to witness this!

(Kyoto, we know you’re screwing with us. At least screw with us in a good way. Like animate the Kyou OVA five different times with multiple outfit choices for Kyou and Ryou, including the nakkid apron “please eat my bento” option.)


The Keroro Platoon… quick! We need to stop their latest nefarious plot to take over Pekopon. The funny thing is I’m sure that Keroro is on at least harebrained scheme #15,513 by now.


Tears… by far, the best Mikuru crying scene. Loved her expression of sadness. Loved the double ponytails. The only thing that would have pushed made this better is if she were wearing that red dress. Yes, I’m still raving about that red dress… it’s not in the same tier as Mio’s mini-top hat or Lewinsky’s Gap dress, but it’s in the same ballpark.

(#4. Kyoto Animation decides it’s a good idea to run yet another Endless Eight, three episodes past when it was “a good idea” and thirteen episodes past chickening out over animating Mio’s panties properly. Not that I’m bitter or anything.)

(#3. Ron Artest decides to lay down on the scorer’s table after a hard foul from Ben Wallace during a game at the Palace of Auburn Hills.)


Pool stimulus package… just how many different public pools are there around North High? I just hope that Japan’s recent economic stimulus package didn’t include fifty billion yen for the construction of pools across Japan.


Beginning sequence… Kyon’s wearing a boring shirt, and Imouto is too absorbed by the Hiroshima Carps to pay attention.

(Remember when I joked during the Mikuru special that this purpose of this series was Haruhi trying to become the next great director at Sunrise? I didn’t expect Kyoto to take that comment so seriously. Why so serious?)


Next week… I’m down on it just because I know Kyoto’s going to end it and bring my dreams of a magical 0-13 season to an end. How do I know? There’s going to be rioting in the streets if the plot doesn’t progress. It’s going to be ugly. It might even get to the point where the fanboys decide to animate the ending themselves just to get it over with. It’s that bad.

(#2. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad declares there’s no gays in Iran, that the Holocaust never happened, AIDS is a made-up disease, and that K-On! is a horrible anime and that Mio is not moe.)

(#1. “With the #2 pick in the 2007 NFL Entry Draft, the Detroit Lions select… Calvin Johnson!” Note: the pick itself wasn’t what was stupid. What was stupid were the WR busts prior to Johnson that laid the foundation for the magical 0-16 season. Just sad it took five first round picks before the Lions finally found a decent WR… not that this has any parallels to five reboots yet Kyon still hasn’t figured out how to advance the plot. But it was definitely stupidly ballsy that Matt Millen drafted so many WRs so highly.)

(And, yes, Kyoto would move into a tie with Ahmadinejad if they ran yet another pointless reboot next episode. Everyone is probably thinking like me in that the next one if the last one… but what if it weren’t? I think enough HDTVs and LCD monitors would be smashed that we wouldn’t know if they did go 0-13. I’m just disappointed that there’s no Sunrise mecha series airing right now, because I could go for some revenge sex blogging using that as fodder to get back at Kyoto.)

43 Responses to “melancholy of haruhi suzumiya 2009 5, endless eight”

  1. ……loser.

  2. Headbandless Haruhi – worth every moment. CLANNAD: Another World, Kyou Chapter: Another Shed, 8: Tomoyo’s Visit, 2. It’s totally coming after Haruhi, right before Little Busters! begins.

  3. This is the Haruhi episode that doesn’t end,
    Yes, it goes on and on my friend.
    Some fanboys started praising it, not knowing what it was,
    and now they’re raging over it but still watch it just because…

  4. I think Kyoto has been spending too much time on 4Chan learning how to be a troll when they should be on 2ch learning what fans actually want.

    No wait, I have an idea. Sunrise bailed out Kyoto just like Chase did with Washington Mutual. Sunrise is so used to having mecha battle after mecha battle that they are reusing Endless Eight until they figure out how to write a decent plot.

  5. and you think canaan is shit…

  6. I’ve never been particularly fond of Nagato, but I think I’ll find a new respect for her in the Disappearance arc. I almost wonder if that arc would make sense- or have the same effect- without the giddy rage I experience each time an Endless Eight episode ends.

    Penny for your thoughts: What if each episode of Endless Eight was done by a different studio or director? Gainax and Anno? Kill em all Tomino and Sunrise? I would have liked to see this end like Ideon at least once in 15,513 times.

  7. Do not despair! Even Terrell Owens can make a comeback on ABC the Superstar…

  8. hmm oh well time to go back to horo~n

  9. Mikuru crying over the phone still makes me laugh. I’m not sure if it is her “Kyooon-kuuuun” or Kyon’s reaction to her crying that causes it though.
    Current bet is that we are getting two more Endless Eights before we finally move on. I’m hoping for just one more so we have more room for what is to come in other book.
    On the other hand if they give us a Kyonko episode of Endless Eight all will be forgiven. Even Munto TV and the lack of delicious Tessa for three years will be forgiven if we get Kyonko.

  10. Each one of these episodes seems to have been drawn by a different team.
    Episode 4 the K-ON staff.
    Episode 3 the Clannad: After story: water works staff
    Episode 2 the Haruhi-chan/Luck Star staff
    Episode 1 the Clannad staff

    So who’s left… Episode 5:FMP: fumoffu staff
    Episode 6: FMP: Second Raid staff
    Episode 7: Kanon staff
    Episode 8: Original Melancholy staff

    I guess they all want a piece of the trolling action.

  11. We have entered an endless recursion of time.

    We have entered an endless recursion of time.

    If their plan is to make us feel the same way as Nagato in the Disappearance arc (which I hope will grace the end of this season) it’s working. I don’t think their sales of DVDs is going to do as well though.

    But hell, what do I know, I’ve been watching this shit for the 4th time.

  12. I’m really hoping that the one thing that wasn’t true was Gonzo getting the rights to The World Only God Knows. That would be like watching a baby fight MMA against Brock Lessner. Please tell me the truth

  13. I’m in despair that Gonzo nabbed the animation production privileges to The World God Only Knows!

    This had better be the fake one, or I will hang myself. Never in a million years did I consider the possibility of Gonzo snatching this- I thought at the worst it would be SHAFT screwing it up with a million camera cuts and dumb references. I just got through the awesome K-ON ripoff chapter, so this even being a possibility is like having my toes smashed with a hammer.

    Mikuru’s melonpan… this is horrible! They’re recessing like the glaciers in Glacier National Park! Or Lindsey Lohan’s breasts after Mean Girls! Horrible! A national tragedy!

    Did you ever consider the possibility that they were never real to begin with, that they were temporarily augmented by some strange future technology for her mission, and that they “wear off” eventually? I’m thinking something like the Incredible Hulk, only with breasts involved.

    The horns… you know what the SOS Brigade need to do? Attend a Detroit Metal City concert. I would love to see a confrontation between Krauser and Haruhi with poor Mikuru and the poor Pig of Capitalism trapped in the middle

    Great, so Haruhi and Krauser would battle to see who can yell FUCK the most times, followed by Haruhi winning and casually explaining, “That’s the number of times Kyoto Animation will run Endless Eight”? Sign me up!

    Surely, if Kyoto ran 13 episodes of Endless Eight… it would be the ballsiest move in anime production history. They would just get a ton of flak from the fans, but there would also be the car flag waving irrational fans that would try to justify it somehow. I’m rooting for 13 episodes of Endless Eight now; it’ll be like rooting for the Detroit Lions to go 0-16. Just a completely magical experience… only the exact opposite.

    Haven’t even watched the last 2 episodes, but I like where this analogy is going. We need the current director to be confronted by the otaku press, insist “I am not 0-13, YOU are 0-13”, then get fired at the end of the season.

    Also, I was in Chicago on business last fall during the magical run, and I bumped into a Detroit Lions fan in a bar. When I learned who his team was, I automatically donkey-laughed. Poor guy just shook his head and told the bartender, “You see?”

  14. At least KyoAni saved on not having to hire more than one writer after the second episode…

  15. It’s called endless eight… only 4 episodes of it left…

    Is Mikuru wearing anything under the T-Shirt in this episode? I’d like to think “no” but I was only mildly paying attention for obvious reasons…

  16. “I’m in despair that Gonzo nabbed the animation production privileges to The World God Only Knows!”

    I hope this is the fake, if it isn’t… I will message Selecao No. 10 that he needs to use 60 Trident D5 SLBMs instead of puny tomahawks. The thought is just horrifying.

    Early on, say on loop 465, someone needed to send KyotoAni a copy of ‘Lola Rennt’ (Run Lola Run) for an example of an entertaining time loop. Someone also needs to send Yui a Van Halen CD.

  17. This is interesting (click on Endless Eight title)

  18. Half way there! Half way there!

    And curse you KyoAni for screwing me out of my 15,500 through 15,512 episodes!

    I know what this is… it’s REVENGE, for the three years we harped on them for more Haruhi animu! It’s EXACTLY like End of Evangelion: You want an ending? WELL HERE’S YOUR FUCKING ENDING! I’d thought I would never see the day that I finally became fed up with KyoAni, but now I have! Train Wreck is the only way to save this show! We need Kyon and Yuki entering into a contract, and then Itsuki to start wearing tights and a purple vest! And then we need to skip ahead seven years to where we see TEENAGE! Imouto, Mei and Ui in delicious plugsuits, a la Darry, and Haruhi has become the next director of Sunrise with Code Geass R3 underway! And Mikuru, LOLFANG-TAN, and Asakura all trying to get into Kyon’s pants, but he completely ignores the chance to have world-shaking sex with LOL FANG-TAN and instead chooses to have an angsty, will-they-or-won’t-they relationship with Itsuki. The series ends with Kyon getting injected with the pure DNA of Kamina, he finally grows some balls, and then he bangs Haruhi like there was no tomorrow – which is rather fortunate, because THAT’S HOW THEY’LL BREAK OUT OF THE CYCLE! And in the DVD bonus features there’ll be a Horo~n feature that would feature a chibified Horo~n questing for Apples, only to have Lawrence refuse her, and telling the audience they gave up on The World God only Knows so that they could animate the third season to Spice and Wolf. And the series closes on several tons of Myrrh being dropped on the main cast.

  20. @air
    You forgot Munto. And you’re pretty spot on.

    jason, I’m disappointed you didn’t mention how K-ONified this episode was.

  21. Is it just me or watching the episodes and reading the first paragraph on this page is reminding me of “Groundhog Day”. I’m not sure if anybody remembers it back in the days but it one of Bill Murray’s movies. Basically it about when he goes to a small town to do a reporting of groundhog day. And for some reason the day keeps repeating day after day on that holiday. During the course of the movie he have sex, kills himself repeatedly, and learn piano in one day. Now that I think about it while I’m typing this paragraph.

    I think I rather rent the movie out from Netflix than download and waste Hard drive space. Somebody tell when they do something different.

  22. Looking a year into the future, isn’t KyoAni going to take a big financial hit? Nobody’s going to buy a DVD or two of the same episode repeated 5,6,7 or 8 times. I know I won’t.
    I’m looking forward to voting with my wallet in the negative when the US licensed version finally gets here!

  23. >>

    Mikuru appears in a kimono and a ponytail this episode. And Kyon says nothing. NOTHING. What happened to “ponytails turn me on”? Which got me thinking: if ponytails turn Kyon on, do they turn Kyon-ko on as well? How about her own ponytail? Does it cause her to walk around in a constant state of arousal? These questions need answers. For great justice.

  24. Still I knew it was coming because of spoiler comments in the last haruhi post before the subs were even out. Thanks a lot guys. The surprise that there wasn’t a surprise wasn’t even a surprise.

    But I watched it anyway, because they at least had to animate something slightly differently, right? There had to be some hint we were near conclusion? But the high point was just a 20 seconds of sobbing pigtailed Mikuru for my trouble, and some stupid plane imagery. Kyon could at least phrase his stock comments slightly differently! Kyon could at least jump to some conclusions of his own while Itsuki explains that they’re in a time loop for the 15000th time!! Kyon could at least ask Yuki how many times they’d discovered it!!! Kyon could at least realise that the last few seconds before Haruhi leaves the cafe isn’t the only time in the episode he’s allowed some introspection about the state of events!!!!

    I don’t believe what KyoAni’s doing with this. Director for this season needs to be shot.

    >> Mikuru’s melonpan… this is horrible! They’re recessing like the glaciers in Glacier National Park!

    She got away lightly. They didn’t even bother with lines for Yuki at around 4.24. Lazy animators as well as trolls, huh?

  25. Pantheon level troll. KyoAni is going for absolute broke, aiming to cement it’s signature in the collective otaku hive mind. Endless Eight will now forever be remembered alongside the likes of the Minmay Defense, End of Eva, and LOLTOMINO.

  26. Blog about Bakamonogatari Jason!

    Did you beat the story mode for Blazblue yet?

    Nice crying scene at the end.

  27. You know what the worst part is? When the NEW new content actually shows up, I get the feeling that most will be forgiving and completely forget about all of this.

    This sends the message that as long as people actually get the content they want in the end, that it doesn’t matter how much shit you put them through beforehand. And I think that’s a dangerous precedent to make.

  28. Funny about the K-ON! references, I actually though Haruhi had a lot of Mio facial expressions, like her “confused but somewhat interested in what your going to say next”. (Or maybe I’m just desperately missing Mio.) In fact, I think Haruhi was cutest in this episode. And for me personally, I’m enjoying this. But now I see why it took so long to get this show aired. Every time they animated it, the crew quit, then they had to spend a few months hiring them all back, just to reanimate the same show again. Having not read the novels, I’m excited to see where this all goes. And Jason, stay the course . . . we’re all right here with you.

  29. Add 13 recursions to my queue of watchings of endless eight… that brings us to 215 days 10 hours of endless eight.

    Nagato-san, I will save you!

  30. During this episode, i made a mathimatical equation to find the probability that any one event.

    nCr (X^r)((1-X)^n-r)

    n = total number of trials
    r = number of times outcome occurs.
    n-r = number of times outcome does not occur.
    X = probability/chance of that event occuring. (decimal form)
    1-X = chance of event not occuring. (decimal form)

    to find the percentage for an over under, for say, Kyon and Itsuki both wearing speedo’s 1000 times assuming they have a 10% chance of wearing speedo’s together, you end up with this being the chance for 1000 times exactly. to find the probability on whether or not it will happen, you need to add the values above and below it.

    Unfortunatly, excel was freaked out with this yaoi calculation and crashed.

  31. Worst possible outcome: Fans will deny that there was ever a second season at all.
    It’s more likely that they show all eight and fans bicker about which episode was the one that wasn’t worth deleting. If you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all–but which one?
    Best outcome: Kyoto denies there were any more than one “endless eight” episodes, gives us seven bonus episodes for being a good sport.
    You’re a better man than I for slogging through this.

  32. Without a headband, Haruhi almost looks like she’s related to Kyon OSHI—

  33. Oh, and I just noticed. Mikuru’s hair in the crying scene looks a lot like Mugi’s in Beach episode 2.0.

  34. I love it! KyoAni is messing with us in a new way and I’m loving every repeated minute of it!

    They wants us to feel the same boredom that Yuki is feeling and the desperation Kyon reaches when he notices that there’s nothing he can do.

    Or it could be my nihilistic view in mankind that makes me love it. More Endless Eight, more pool, more Keroro Platoon!

  35. Haruhi looks amazingly like a housewife on a soon-to-be-wed female at the obon festival and when kyon asks about homework. Total total turn on. :D

  36. The worst/best part about a series starring Haruhi as a semi-lesbian assassin is that while she is winking at Mikuru, she has stuffed in her a frog out fit most likely and already has her to taped to a wall near said stripper pole.

  37. Hey Mikuru, want to see my *confidential information*?

  38. Mikuru’s breasts are like the new gm only concentrating on showing a little bit of the awesome bits whilst cutting away the extra bits even though they are the parts that make the awesome bits look that much better

  39. Might be just me, but I don’t see to be bothered by the reboots at all…
    Could be my horrible memory making me able to enjoy the episodes each time lol
    It’s like I forget all the recurring parts, but remember all the bits that show up only once.

    I mean, during season 1 there were loads of messages watching the exact same episode like 10 times over. This should be nothing.

  40. Personally, I think they originally designed this series of events to be in a messed up order like the first season. Then instead of getting these 5 episodes back to back like we are we’d have gotten a break.

    I also really think they should have left out ep 4, it really is taking too long for us to move on.

    So far, even though I have Haruhi S1 in my top 3 anime, this S2 is going to have a hard time making it into the top ten at this rate.

  41. I’m sure I’ve seen this thread before …

  42. >> Then instead of getting these 5 episodes back to back like we are we’d have gotten a break.

    No, if they had then we wouldn’t have gotten all this timewasting chronologically ordered filler to allow the series to end at the exiting end of of Disappearance, we’d have gotten 2/3 episodes of Endless Eight and 2 episodes of Snow Mountain Syndrome, or Editor in Chief and Charmed at First Sight Lover or something like that, which is why this arc is annoying me so much.

  43. I actually dozed off a few times watching this episode, although it might have something to do with the fact that I was dead tired or that I watched 4 and 5 together.

    I really hope something happens next week, don’t think I can take another week of looping >”<

    Why can't Kyon ask Yuki to TELL THEM what's going on from the very start of the next loop so they actually have more time to do something about it…

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