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Oct 25 2004

Categories: anime, commentary, meido, power rankings, spoilers
Tagged: mahoromatic

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Inspired by the old meido poll, this post will try to power rank all anime meido. Yes, a difficult task, but someone has to do it.

The qualification guidelines:

• Must be a fulltime meido, not just cosplay as one for an ep or two.
• Must be at least a minor character (appear in more than a single episode).
• Judged on points for meido things, like clean, cook, and seduce gosyujinsama.
• Bonus points if meido contributes to plot.
• No hentai series (but ecchi is fine and encouraged :) ).

1. Lemon, Maron, and Melon (Hanaukyo): It’s pretty much a clear-cut victory for these three. They excel at providing service and seducing gosyujinsama, and when they can’t they get depressed and drink, which makes them all that more likeable. They also score pity points since they are the neglected residents of the Hanaukyo household. Of course, they’re currently the pinnacle of meido perfection because, well, there’s three of them. (Nakkid pillowfights help too.)
2. Mahoro (Mahoromatic): Mahoro would be ranked higher if there were more of her, but one cannot deny her ability to cook, clean, and fetch shao long bao from Taipei. Standard Vesper-model Mahoro comes equipped with amenities such as support mecha, breast missiles, and a little sister meido. Mahoro is also the meido queen of fanservice and get considerable more screentime than the triplets. She also violates her own catch phrase repeatedly, to the delight of fanboys everywhere.
3. Hisui and Kohaku (Tsukihime): Shake, shake, shake. Unfortunately, they were not at their best for the anime. A few scenes of them acting independently of each other with no fanservice coordination brings down their rankings. Do score mad points for that breast biting scene with Akiha. They’re also a bit psychotic, which I gave bonus points for.
4. Mitsuiki, Izumi, and Anna (He Is My Master): I’m not sure if these girls can do any meido-related work, and they enjoy in rejecting/torturing gosyujinsama, which leads to a lower ranking. Too bad, since there’s three of them and good potential give Lemon, Maron, and Melon a run for their meido bonnet if these HIMM girls provided better service. Also, they come with Pochi, which may or may not be a good thing.
5. Mariel (Hanaukyo): The Belldandy of meido. Ranks under Mahoro due to Mariel’s lack of anti-alien fighting abilities but has the highest “normal meido” quotient of everyone on the list. Also suffers from not having identical triplet sisters (though in theory they could be manufactured… oops that was a spoiler!). Being voiced by Chii helps though.
6. Yoriko (Da Capo): You would think an authentic neko mimi meido would be ranked higher. So would I. Yoriko just doesn’t have the quantity of the triplets/twins nor the quality of a Mariel… I mean, all the stuff Yoriko cooks in Da Capo resembles the buffet at Fear Factor. She’s also enjoys watching brothers and sisters kiss each other… oops another spoiler! Ok, no more spoilers.
7. Jiiya (Sister Princess): She is the omega, from which all fanboy meido rantings hath wrought.
8. Sanada (UFO Princess Warukyure): I’ve only watched the eighth episode of this series and its sequel. Why? They’re the neko mimi meido episodes! Devoted to gosyujinsama, commands legions of fun-loving meido, and has neko mimi guns… what’s not to like? Unfortunately, I haven’t seen enough of the anime to make any further judgement, so I’ll stick her behind the omega Jiiya just to be safe. Bonus points for same seiyuu as Mariel/Chii.
9. Taeko (Ai Yori Aoshi): Can’t cook. Breaks tons of dishes. Extremely awkward. She’s here solely on bonus points from Tina’s breast checks.
10. Yukizaki (Chobits): Robot meido. Starts off a run of robot meido… unless they have catch phrases like Mahoro, they ain’t getting ranked higher than this. Why are there more robot meido than neko mimi meido? President Bush (or Kerry) needs to create a Neko Mimi Meido Czar to look into this issue at the highest levels.
11. Multi (To Heart): Another robot meido. Bonus points for the looking more like a robot meido, but penalized severely for crappy character design/ultra-lame premise in Remember My Memories thus dropping her ranking behind Yukizaki, who is more aesthetically pleasing.
12. Moi-Moi-san (Moi-Moi-san): Sad premise but cute meido. I’ll just leave her ranked here since I don’t really have a bug extermination efficiency rating (should I?).
13. OS-tan (Troubled Windows): Software meido? I am surprised that the fad hasn’t passed yet.
14. Runa, Mitsuki, etc. (Gravion): Meido who pilot giant robots. Brillant! Sadly, it couldn’t save Gravion from being just another bit of Gonzo refuge.
15. Florette (Chrno Crusade): She gets points for her devotion to her master, and she’s the only bright spot in an otherwise dismal series. Unfortunately, she has like 10 minutes of total airtime.
16. Kazusa (Moekko Company): Worst combat meido anime ever.
17. May/Mai (Hand Maid May/Mai): Uber ditzy robotic meidos. Unlike Yukizaki, they run on USB… 2.0 hopefully.

I tried my best at recalling anime meido, but if you have suggestions or omissions, please let me know. Maybe next time I’ll power rank the butlers too… but beyond Hellsing and Big O, it’s a barren character type.