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Apr 22 2006

Categories: anime, belldandy, higurashi, keroro gunso, melancholy of haruhi suzumiya, seasonal thin slicing, strawberry panic
Tagged: belldandy, black lagoon, haruhi suzumiya, higurashi, keroro gunso, school rumble, strawberry panic, the-third, zegapain

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I still haven’t waded though all 5,358 new shows this spring 2006, but out of the 17 that I have seen, I’m going to rank them or die trying.

(Think of the rank as if I received one episode of all the shows at once, which one would I watch first? Second? Last?)

Thin Slicing the New Season, Spring 2006 Edition

Spring 2006 is kind of an odd season. By volume, it has the most new shows that I’ve witnessed in a while, and a lot of the shows look tantalizing. However, upon digging deeper, most of the shows are just straightfaced adaptations of their manga counterparts (Black Lagoon) or just generic genre types with a glossy exterior (Himawari). There’s a lot of tough chix0rs (Black Lagoon‘s Levi, The Third‘s Honoka), a lot of harem shows, some well-done shoujo, a lot of comedic show, and lesbian overload. It’s also an odd season in that everyone is dying for a real hit… winter 2006 was just an albatross… no high tier shoujo series… and Magikano somehow emerged as the premier series… that’s like seeing Gilbert Arenas win NBA MVP this year.

The good news is that animation quality is up; the bad news is that anime is getting to be more generic than ever; the great news is that there’s finally a show that has people buzzing again. Let’s run down the new season from the worst to the best… with a twist… I’m doling out my thoughts on what the potential is for a show. Is it going to be the next Cowboy Bebop? Or the next Grenadier? Remember, it’s all about _potential_ … I’m not saying that it’s going to be Bebop, just that if the show pulls off its execution flawlessly, that’s it’s ceiling. Just like how Shaun Livingston’s ceiling is Magic Johnson or how people call LBJ the next MJ (only LBJ needs about 3 or 6 more championship rings). Anime is the same way. Some shows are destined to become the next Evangelion. Others, they are destined to become…

#17. The Next Final Fantasy Unlimited

Goes to Disgaea. I loved the game, but the anime seems to just recycle the characters and not bring to the table what made the game great. The game itself had a simple-minded plot, and it was the deep combat system coupled with Etna’s hilarious next episode previews that were the game highlights. The episode previews were worth the price of the game alone. For the anime, they stress the game’s already weak plot and, more offensively, they don’t do the next episode previews like they do in the game. Honestly, no mainstream RPG has ever turned out well in anime form… if Xenosaga was the best out of Final Fantasy Unlimited and Star Ocean EX, that’s saying something. If they focused more on just episodic gags and got rid of any plot, maybe this could be Hare + Guu. Naaah…

#16. The Next Ten Ten

Goes to Air Gear. An Oh Great manga turned anime that is a complete mess? I never would have guessed it. It’s Ten Ten all over again… there’s Simca doing her gohobi tease, only there’s no nudity, no sex, and no panty shots… what’s left? Rollerblading? Seriously? Rollerblading is going to carry a show? (Plus there’s that gay friend that has yet to appear in the anime which will be the final nail in this show’s coffin.) Reading Oh Great manga for its plot is like watching The View for their commentary on international politics. Watching Oh Great anime for fanservice is like watching Ghost Whisperer waiting for Love Hewitt to fall out of her top… just a continuous tease that won’t happen. Honestly, I’m still watching this series just because of Rie Tanaka’s Simca. No other reason. I fast-forward 18 minutes an episode.

#15. The Next Erementar Gerad

Goes to Kiba. I’m not a fan of mainstream shonen action series, and that’s pretty much Kiba. Mysterious and rebellious boy in some dystopic future learns that he has special powers (an anime first!) and tries to reunite with his mom. Nothing groundbreaking. One thing Kiba has going for it is Inuoe Kikuko as Zed’s mom, who reminds me of FMA‘s Lust. Potential MILF if she weren’t in a looney bin. There’s no fanservice to keep me interested (at least Gerad had some harem and comedy elements), the ED Very Very is very very lacking, and if I want something Toriyama-style, I’d stick with One Piece. Plus Noah has developed an uncomfortable man-crush on Zed. *shudders* I just can’t rank uncomfortable male-male luvin’ over uncomfortable female-female luvin’…

#14. The Next Sister Princess

Goes to Strawberry Panic. I think I’m being pessimistic here. After watching a bit more of the show, it’s has promise, yet not really fulfilling it. The most we can hope for are simple peck kisses… definitely not the Shizuru/Tomoe wild ride. I think Mai Otome set the bar for crazy lesbians, and everyone else is now desperately playing catch up. A few people remarked that the ceiling should be the next Maria-sama… but… this is a G’s Magazine show! Trust me. Shizuma is harmless. There’s teasing… then there’s G’s Magazine– they’re as predictable as Sunrise. As I stated before, their only hope is to turn Strawberry Panic into a shoujo series or just have a massive lesbian orgy. I just can’t see either happening. Too bad. Oh well, if I actually wanted to watch shoujo, I’d pick one of the following…

#13. The Next Honey and Clover

Goes to NANA. I think people without y-chromosomes have been dying for a good shoujo series since, uh, there’s been a drought to say the least. Unfortunately, it also has this effect where it overhypes a series. NANA is like Steve Nash. The ratio of shoujo anime this season to shonen anime is about the same as the ratio of white to black in the NBA. When one of them suddenly becomes good, it’s a cause for celebration. In other words, because shoujo is so rare and half the planet is female, it gets an inordinate amount of love. Yet, production-wise, story-wise, if it translated into a shonen series, would it be better than Black Lagoon or The Third? (I’m still confused how Steve Nash won MVP last season over Shaq… and if he wins this season over Billups, Kobe, or LBJ, I’m going to jump on the race bandwagon.)

#12. The Next Utena

Goes to Ouren High School Host Club. I love Utena. It’s one of my favorite shows. If they remade Utena with modern sensibilities, twice the homosexual overtones, and much better animation, it’ll be Ouren. Only Ouren is about hawt guys. OTL. Still, in a shoujo showdown, at least Ouren is more mockable and funnier than NANA, which gives it a slight edge, even with the homoerotic overtones. (Two shoujo series give me a headache already… the probability that I’ll watch xxxholic has just gone from “when I find a Chii-type personcon in the trash” to “when Shinn Asuka wins a most popular and most mentally stable male character poll.”)

Actually, let’s just pretend that I never ranked Ouren. It _never_ happened. I need some lesbians to clear my mind…

#11. The Next Mai Otome

Goes to Simoun. In the scope of this blog, the next Mai Otome would be a positive thing. ^^ But, honestly, I couldn’t think of any series that comes close to Simoun. (Maybe the second half of Last Exile, only Last Exile had plot-like substance. Or Gravion, only Gravion had harem elements. See the dilemna?) I mean… girls frenching in the first five minutes just shows how far lesbianism in anime has gone mainstream. Not that it’s a bad thing, per say, just not the attention grabber it used to be. Simoun has this weird “girls protecting their country with odd machines called Simoun only they possess” vibe, and if they go into this male protein-filled spring, they no longer can pilot Simouns. In other words, the structure is the same as Otome, only the show tries to take itself seriously. There’s classical music… haughtly Hecate-level narration, and the least erotic lesbian frenching that I’ve seen recently.

(BTW, the Simouns fight by drawing magical patterns in the sky using jewels that are powered by girl-on-girl kisses. Talk about a premise. I’d like to meet the mastermind behind this show someday.)

Still, if I wanted potential lesbians, I’m more inclined to go with the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe from…

#10. The Next Magikano

Goes to Magical Pokan. I like the vampire/werewolf/witch/android loli-demonness princess angle, but the first episode was kinda disjointed. The OP screams, “take me seriously!” yet the first panty shot joke screams, “don’t take me seriously!” The comedy is flat sometimes, and devoting a segment to making mailboxes… well… I did develop an eye twitch when the vampire posed as a mailbox and implored the mailman to use her panties as a mail slot. And also how the witch’s spell was that she wasn’t wearing any panties. In other words, they’re not exactly shooting for NANA‘s audience here. The show also seems to have ripped off Negima‘s Evangeline’s outfit for Pachira as well as Dark Cloud 2‘s Monica’s outfit for Uma. I think I’m being generous, but it’s a good premise… it could possible be a more fanservice-filled Keroro crossed with Magikano. I’m regretting putting this show for such a high ranking already… not a good sign… wtf… mailboxes… I can’t rank it higher than…

#9. The Next Lime-iro Senkitan

Goes to Himawari. Generic harem show with ninjas. *yawn* Wake me up when Himawari chomps on someone’s breasts or something. Actually, this show isn’t that bad… has fanservice, a bit of comedy, ninja action, good animation, and zero, absolutely zero homoerotic males or plot centered around seducing mailmen. Still, comparing it to other recent harem series not based off of h-games, the Himawari/Hayato combination pales to Bell/K1, the harem is nowhere as top-tier as Hario’s in Magikano, and the plot isn’t over-the-top enough as Kage Kara Mamorou. Though I’m glad Himawari doesn’t have Yuna’s mental handicap. Still, if I want comedy… there’s nothing like a Sunrise series…

#8. The Next Sousei no Aquarion

Goes to Zegapain. The first episode caught me off-guard and was enjoyable, but the series has some serious plot problems. The show is so serious and straight, I can’t make fun of them like I can for Otome. Then there’s Kyo’s best Emiya imitation. My gawd, do men in anime know what to do with nakkid women anymore?

BONUS: The Next Jigoku Shoujo

Goes to Keroro Gunso. Not for anything to do with the anime as Keroro is nothing like Law and Order: Loli Demon Revenge Unit. It’s for the Enma Ai-ish curse on all the fansubbers who have attempted to sub the show.

(Probability that this screenshot will make its way onto 4chan in some way, shape, or form has just been taken off the books at Vega.)

#7. The Next Harukanaru Toki no Naka de

Goes to Utawarerumono. It feels like Harukanaru in terms of the first impressions, but I really wanted to say it’s the next REC, only for Eruruu’s defiant Aka-like push from amnesia guy after he strokes her tail. The plot still isn’t very fleshed out, only that I know that country girls are hardy. ^^ Has potential for romance, comedy, and tons of action. I’ll keeping an eye on this series, but it just doesn’t have the same level of firepower as…

#6. The Next Samurai Deeper Kyo

Goes to Black Lagoon. Levi is just as bad ass as Kyo, and they both treat the people around them with a certain, “don’t get in my way, loser” disrespect. Honestly, I can’t think of another female anime character who carried their show just on their bad assedness (probably not a word…)… Ghost in the Shell is too much of a reach. While I see similarities between Levi and Motoko, Motoko actually uses her teammates to good effect. Levi just wants to have fun. Plus GitS tackles some hefty social issues… Black Lagoon is just all out shonen action. Though I’m not exactly happy that the show has thus far been an exact replica of the manga. Panel by panel reproduced. Levi does suffer a disadvantage in that she’s very one dimensional (I’m glad it hasn’t turned into a romance series a la Genshiken, of course), whereas the next bad ass heroine is a bit more well-rounded…

#5. The Next Shakugan no Shana

Goes to The Third. Tough as nails loli-ish blademaster? Check. Overbearing non-corporal father figure? Check. Mysterious guy who seems more concerned about everything around him besides the hawt, loli-ish chix0r who is falling in love with him? Check. Uber-meido? Sadly, no. The Third seems to be highly derivative of other shows with the bleak future ripped off from Suzabouzu, Now and Then Here and There, Trigun, and The Big O. There’s also Honoka’s “I hate killing” conscience, and I really hope it doesn’t degrade into a Kira “I won’t fight anymore” emo series. The animation and music are good, and Honoka is almost as likable as Shana, only substitute crappy poetry for melonpan. Though the lack of meido probably means it’ll never reach Shana’s level. Nonetheless, while I’m excited over more bad poetry, I’m even more excited for the possibility off a Ron Artest-level meltdown in…

#4. The Next Elfen Lied

Goes to Higurashi no Naku Koro ni. My only thought while watching this series was that it’s just a loli-er Elfen Lied. That’s not necessary a bad thing as Nyuu’s antics were quite entertaining and bloody. Where the Cicadas Go Cry (crappy, crappy name) seems like a typical harem series, complete with the “girl next door” type Rena, the tsundere Mi, and so on. Only there’s a major twist in that Rena could be a crazed butcher/murderer surpassing Kaede. That’s what keeps me watching. That and the KFC statue subplot. And the fact Rena is the new Ron Artest.

(If I were K1… Cicada’s K1… not Belldandy’s K1, I wouldn’t lob a beer at her. You know both are crazy, and it’s only a matter of time before they snap. I couldn’ be giddier. Though without this murderous intent wild card, Higurashi would just a run-of-the-mill harem series, just like Sacramento was not a playoff team without Artest. With Artest, Sacramento is a playoff sleeper even if they’re getting waxed by SA right now, and with Rena’s ability to go Kaede on K1, it makes Higuarashi an almost must watch.)

Though this show has that loli drawing style that prevents me from taking it seriously. And the KFC subplot. But it does have an SOS club equivalent, though, I’d rather join SOS. Hands down. Just like Utena over Ouren. But I still wouldn’t take a lolier-Nyuu over…

#3. The Next ああっ女神さまっ

Goes to ああっ女神さまっ. Disappointing in terms of music (bagpipes, wtf?), kanon (kami-sama can be heard by K1? AM PM?), and animation (tsk tsk tsk). Yet, I’m still a huge fanboy, and it’s one of the few shows that I watch raw ASAP… even if already know the plot within 30 seconds of an episode. Belldandy goes here. Only there’s a few new challengers to her throne…

#2. The Next School Rumble

Goes to School Rumble. I liked the original season, but I can’t see the second season surpassing the first. Why? First off, Generation is making me miss “gurugurumaru.” Let’s make it a rule… some sort of “gurugurumaru” must kick off any School Rumble series, the Goddess Fantastic Club must kick off any ああっ女神さまっ series, and any new Mai Hime/Otome series must kick off with some sort of Gundam-ripoff.

More importantly, the stories. The best manga stories have been told already, and now we’re in for a steady stream of more of the same. Is it a bad thing? No, but be prepared for even more Harima/Hanai/Yakumo/Tenma misunderstandings that you can shake a stick at. As I always say, dance with the one who brought ya, and School Rumble is doing exactly that. Just the earlier chapters were funnier and less angsty. Nevertheless, thanks to Eri’s tsundere act, Tenma’s cluelessness, Akito’s leadership, Mikoto’s breasts, Mihara’s tanlines, Itoko-sensei’s pure womanness, and Yakumo’s understatedness, School Rumble is a tidy #2. Only because of…

#1. The Next Evangelion

Goes to Haruhi. What made Evangelion great isn’t the religious references. Or necessarily the mind-fucking. Or the harem elements. Or the fact Shinji was piloting his mom. It was just different from everything else that was airing at the time, and it got people talking. Virally. Organically. Quickly. People heard about it, didn’t know what to think, decided that they need to watch it. After watching it, it’s almost impossible to not have an opinion about the show… it’s not like watching To Heart, an excellent series, but it doesn’t exactly leave a lasting impression when it was over and done with. People loved Evangelion. People hated Evangelion. People had an opinion, and it spread.

Haruhi is the same. It took 20 days to breach 50,000 posts on it on 2ch, destroying the previous record of three months for 50,000 posts that Fate/Stay Night set earlier. No spring 2006 series has hit The 好き as hard as Haruhi. A record 13 bloggers are following this show, shattering the number for Otome, and it’s only a third into its run. The community– Japanese, American, and worldwide has really gotten behind the show. I mean, it also was the fastest to spawn “I better watch Haruhi because other people are raving about it” and “I can’t believe these idiots still have boners for Haruhi” posts on 好き barely a week after the series still started. No other show from spring 2006 has solicited that type of post yet. Like it. Love it. Hate it. There’s nothing on that capture’s one’s imagination than Haruhi. There’s nothing that gets people talking like Haruhi.

It has movie-like animation quality… nothing this season comes close. The best part are all the minute attention to details as well as the pure energy level of the animation. The OP/ED are so fantastic that they spawned about 78,931 parodies already. It’s also the only show from spring 2006 that has spawned a meme thus far, which Natsumi showed earlier. The characters? All very unique and memorable… and toss in the Mikuru-run episode 00, Haruhi really sets itself from the pack.

Just like Eva, it’s not a perfect show… it’s a show that is just so different, so out there, I mean, nothing else on this list even comes close, it gets people talking. Just like how Eva brought in a new generation of fans and rejuventated the old, Haruhi is doing the same. While Evangelion is safely in the anime pantheon, Haruhi‘s the only series from spring 2006 with a shot at joining it.

For me, this season had a lot of shows like Black Lagoon, School Rumble, and Belldandy’s Bagpipes that I know the source material pretty well. I knew what to expect. A lot of shows like Himawari, Ouren, Zegapain, and Haruhi, I knew nothing coming in. Blank slate for an impression to be made, and Haruhi made an impression so strong, it not Shaun Livingston… it’s today’s LBJ to Eva‘s MJ.

Compared to the last few seasons, there’s something for everyone this season. Harem? Got it. Shoujo? Got it. Giant mecha? Got it. A pantheon series in the making? Got it. A lot of the series, like School Rumble, I expected to do well, while series like Air Gear, I could predict the floppage an Air Trek-fueled jump away. But I’m always happiest to see good sleeper hits, like Mushishi or Magikano… and this season has it it spades in Haruhi, The Third, and The Next Elfen Lied. It’s just time to sit back, relax, and enjoy what’s shaping up to be a great season filled with shoujo-ai. And maybe a dash of shonen-ai. But with plenty of Haruhi.